Friday Fictioneers is a weekly challenge set by Rochelle Wisoff Fields to write a 100-word story in response to a photo prompt. You can find other stories here.
Click here to hear the author read his words:
The Clouds
‘The clouds,’ he says.
Kneeling on the street beside his broken body, I look up at the clear blue sky.
‘Not those,’ he points a wavering finger. ‘The clouds over their heads.’
Over my shoulder, I see staring faces.
There are no clouds.
‘I don’t see any,’ I tell him.
‘You will,’ he gasps, coughing blood. ‘When it matters.’
I can hardly hear him over the wail of the ambulance as it edges past the van that hit him instead of me.
‘Why did you save me,’ I ask him.
‘I chose you,’ he whispers.
‘Why?’
He dies without answering.
So many layers of mystery. He will see when it matters. He will know why. Fantastic story!
Dear C.E.
You leave us with more questions than answers. Hopefully, in time, he’ll know the answers.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Indeed, m’lady, and if I ever get round to finishing it, we all will!
This will stay with him forever.
Well, till the weekend anyway…
This feels like a “gift” with a whole lot of responsibility. His turn will come to pass it on. Sort of like the Green Mile – okay, a tiny bit like it…
Not the sort of gift anyone accepts willingly, but…
Truly.
The chosen one, but why we’ll never know – I doubt you do either! Intrguing C,E.
Au contraire, old custard, this time I do know!
Self-sacrifice is a noble deed. A heart rendering moment in this story.
Thanks, James
a second chance in life. hopefully, he puts it to better use.
Aye, well, time will tell…
Ooh, yes, a tasting opening to a much bigger story as he discovers just what this legacy is.
Well-spotted, Jen!
Now that would be something to reflect upon as you make your way through life. Such a sense of obligation you must have. Well done, great photo too.
Not peace-of-mind inducing, hmm. Thanks, Sandra
Gripping – and realising the stranger took the hit from instead of the protagonist adds a layer of survival guilt and profound obligation, and ending with ‘I chose you’ is incredibly chilling👏.
Glad it worked for you, Ange
Drama, tension, mystery – I’m on the edge of my seat here.
And all that without knowing what it’s about.
Masterstroke.
Even I’m on the edge of my parrot, Jenne, and I know what happens!
Maybe he’ll be happier not knowing the answer.
He’ll learn it, James
A chilling tale. Did he really want THAT new job?
Seems to be non-optional, Liz
Goosebumps. If that didn’t make a believer out of someone I don’t know what would.
But believe in what, Lisa?
Good question. Depends on where you want the story to go.
Oh, what a question to gnaw away at him
You said it, Neil