The Carrot Ranch Challenge:
In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story inspired by “WHISPERS”.
Click here to hear the author read his words:
The rock-built jetty is so peaceful in winter, just the lapping of the waves, the whispers of the wind.
It is different in summertime.
Although few sun-seekers venture out here from the beach, the sounds drift.
Children laughing or wailing, boys arguing over ball games, girls squealing in mock surprise, I hear everything.
Occasionally a youngster clambers out to explore, usually with Dad, sometimes with a friend.
And shrieks with excitement at the clusters of crabs, or voracious fish, that can be seen down crevices, feeding in unlikely places.
Then I smile to myself.
Because only I know why.
I love how you added that twist at the end. The piece is complete without it, but the twist managed to add another, deeper layer in only five simple words. I’m sure it made many of us think! You’ve created warmth in this character, their admiration and kind gesture shines through. I hope more children and adults alike get to enjoy his thriving creation while the season lasts. Fabulous imagery C. An inspiring and uplifting take on the prompt.
A mysterious ending that leads my imagination to whoever it was that put those rocks into such positions as to create their own feeding pond.
Maybe it’s not the rocks’ positions that is important, but what is put in there…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Draft Collection « Carrot Ranch Literary Community
The imagery unfolds, the narrator an open book until the end, leaving a mystery each reader could imagine.
Cheers, Charli, I do enjoy when the reader uses her/his imagination!
There was something about, ‘I hear everything’ in among the joyful descriptions, something about this lone watcher.
Just a hint… that came powerfully to fruition in the last two unexpected lines.
Excellent build up and twist.
Aha, you are starting to spot the wee clues, Jenne!
Oh, wicked ending! Some body is feeding the crabs!
Yes, D., but with what?
A wonderful descriptive piece which had me basking in the simple delights of an 8 year old. Then the wee twist at the end … I want to know why!
The wee twist is to exercise your brain!