Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week Bjorn’s great photo with its fabulous Stop sign reminded me of a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with Rowena and Varad.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Björn Rudberg
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Assassins Anonymous
Hi. My name’s Harry the Hatchet, and I’m an assassin.
Hi, Harry!
The welcome is surprisingly warm.
Especially since Harry is known to several of us.
I remember he chopped up Norrie the Knife’s brother a couple of years back.
Norrie is two seats along, scowling darkly.
But he’s never what you’d call sunny.
Okay, says Bobby the Bullet, anyone like to start?
Bobby runs the group since Bomber Billy blew himself up.
I stand.
C the Solver, I say, I used to kill for money.
I shoot Harry in the face.
Sorry, I say, sometimes I lapse a bit.
I agree with Athling the Atrocious, love the names. Love the dark humor. 🙂
I am just glad we are friends again, Sascha the Slaughterer.
I was concerned you might Strangle, Smother or Suffocate me.
Sincerely so! 🙂
It just occurred to me (yes, I’m habitually late in the thought process) that I’ve done nothing to earn this title.
I am confident, dear lady, that if you put your mind to it you will be successful at Slaying all and sundry.
I look forward to your first story of Sascha the Stabber.
Really good job. Love the way it was a story in dialogue.
Very happy you enjoyed, Lisa
Hilarious! I love the names.
Thank you, Athling the Atrocious
A perfectly executed story, one may even say a killer of a tale.
Boom, boom!
Or even Bang, bang!
Loved the lapse, though I’m sure Harry would beg to disagree.
Harry ain’t beggin’ much now, I’m happy to say
Great smoking barrels. And well that one way of reducing the need for prisons.
Thanks, Michael, some solutions are on the drastic side
Had to laugh… that was funny!
Then my work is done, Jelli!
Oh, man, C., I’m gonna have to copy this down so I can pull it out and laugh, again and again… “Lapse a bit…” snorting laughter!
Ha. I love this! ‘Hi, Harry!’ Such fun. And I really enjoyed listening to you tell it.
Thank you kindly, ma’am, a comment like this makes it all worthwhile.
I hate it when people can’t control their baser instincts. It spoils it for everyone. But probably Harry is the one who’s had his evening ruined more than anyone else.
Oh come on, Sandra, we are all flawed to varying degrees.
And Harry wasn’t the most agreeable of chaps anyway.
I loved the dead pan humour in this. I wonder if there will be a sure cure for addictive behaviour that would ensure no one lapses, then Harry would still be with us. But the very nature of the group it may suffer from diminishing attendance.
I like ‘dead pan’, wish I’d thought of it earlier!
What a gang! I enjoyed the Ocean’s series but this would also be fun to watch – AA (Assassins Anonymous). 😀
They are the hysterical hunters. Their names made me laugh but I shouldn’t. 😉
Yes, you should.
Just because it is a serious tale of bloody carnage doesn’t mean you can’t have a chuckle
Haha! Love it. The idea of AA (assassins anonymous) and then the killer who can’t quite kick the habit – really great. Had me smiling
The chap is trying, Lynn, we are none of us perfect, hmm?
🙂
I think it’s going to take more than a 12-Step program to help this bunch.
Even then you have to watch out for Cha-cha Charlie, the Chinese Chopper
Your amusing tale ended with quite a bang! Nice one
Click to read my 100 Word Story!
It did for poor Harry!
Well bury the Hatchet then! Funny story, and sounds a bit like a riddle. Seems to me C the solver was hired by Norrie to kill Harry. Bury the Hatchet.
C is actually not a bad chap, perhaps a tad impetuous, that’s all
Oh! The names and evidently C the Solver has solved yet another problem?
That’s my job, dear Alicia
Ha ha – I love the names… very funny 🙂
What do you call your friends, Anna the Anthropophagus?
Ha.. I assume that the size of the group might shrink quickly…
Members come and members go, Bjorn.
I admit I feel somewhat guilty, not sure that my story did justice to your fabulous photo.
But I saw ‘Stop’ and my mind just went off, I’m sure you know that feeling.
Now, that was Funny!!!
Scott
Thanks, Scott, a few more laughs than the Saturday Sob, hmm!
Yes!
I think these chaps would love Friday Fictioneers – after all they haven’t got the time to read anything much longer before somebody else gets despatched to his maker!
The comments here are funnier than the story!
Love that last line. Amazing that a story about such gruesome characters can be so funny.
Gruesome characters?
Perhaps a bit misunderstood…
I imagine the membership is quite exclusive and life expectancy quite short. Great fun.
I feel sure you are correct on both counts, Iain.
But there are no restrictions on age, gender, race or religion, so expect the Senile Slayer, the Curvaceous Killer and the Hindu Hitman to saunter in soon.
Teehee! “Sometimes I lapse a bit”! Nicely constructed tale, CE.
Teehee?
You are not a well lady, are you, Penny?
Yay! The Assassins Anonymous is official. Nice one, CE. Loved the twisted humor in this one.
Glad you like it, Varad, your words were an inspiration!
It could be a series, I guess.
Time lapse for ‘sorry’, but execution is perfect 🙂
Thank you, Anita.
But I don’t understand the first part of your comment.
You have a dark, dark soul
It’s probably my best fault, Neil
A murderer’s story, as you tell them so well. Have you committed many?
Not compared to, say, Stalin or Pol Pot.
Happy you enjoyed, m’lady.
One murder is a tragedy, a million is statistics… you might be somewhere in between at the moment.