Assassins Anonymous – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week
Bjorn’s great photo with its fabulous Stop sign reminded me of a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with Rowena and Varad.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© Björn Rudberg


Click here to hear the writer read his words:

Assassins Anonymous

Hi. My name’s Harry the Hatchet, and I’m an assassin.
Hi, Harry!
The welcome is surprisingly warm.
Especially since Harry is known to several of us.
I remember he chopped up Norrie the Knife’s brother a couple of years back.
Norrie is two seats along, scowling darkly.
But he’s never what you’d call sunny.
Okay, says Bobby the Bullet, anyone like to start?
Bobby runs the group since Bomber Billy blew himself up.
I stand.
C the Solver, I say, I used to kill for money.
I shoot Harry in the face.
Sorry, I say, sometimes I lapse a bit.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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61 Responses to Assassins Anonymous – Friday Fictioneers

  1. I agree with Athling the Atrocious, love the names. Love the dark humor. 🙂

    Like

  2. lisarey1990 says:

    Really good job. Love the way it was a story in dialogue.

    Like

  3. athling2001 says:

    Hilarious! I love the names.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. subroto says:

    A perfectly executed story, one may even say a killer of a tale.

    Like

  5. Loved the lapse, though I’m sure Harry would beg to disagree.

    Like

  6. michael1148humphris says:

    Great smoking barrels. And well that one way of reducing the need for prisons.

    Like

  7. Jelli says:

    Had to laugh… that was funny!

    Like

  8. Ha. I love this! ‘Hi, Harry!’ Such fun. And I really enjoyed listening to you tell it.

    Like

  9. Sandra says:

    I hate it when people can’t control their baser instincts. It spoils it for everyone. But probably Harry is the one who’s had his evening ruined more than anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. James McEwan says:

    I loved the dead pan humour in this. I wonder if there will be a sure cure for addictive behaviour that would ensure no one lapses, then Harry would still be with us. But the very nature of the group it may suffer from diminishing attendance.

    Like

  11. Norma says:

    What a gang! I enjoyed the Ocean’s series but this would also be fun to watch – AA (Assassins Anonymous). 😀
    They are the hysterical hunters. Their names made me laugh but I shouldn’t. 😉

    Like

  12. Lynn Love says:

    Haha! Love it. The idea of AA (assassins anonymous) and then the killer who can’t quite kick the habit – really great. Had me smiling

    Like

  13. I think it’s going to take more than a 12-Step program to help this bunch.

    Like

  14. Your amusing tale ended with quite a bang! Nice one

    Click to read my 100 Word Story!

    Like

  15. Well bury the Hatchet then! Funny story, and sounds a bit like a riddle. Seems to me C the solver was hired by Norrie to kill Harry. Bury the Hatchet.

    Like

  16. Oh! The names and evidently C the Solver has solved yet another problem?

    Like

  17. Anna Rymer says:

    Ha ha – I love the names… very funny 🙂

    Like

  18. Ha.. I assume that the size of the group might shrink quickly…

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Members come and members go, Bjorn.
      I admit I feel somewhat guilty, not sure that my story did justice to your fabulous photo.
      But I saw ‘Stop’ and my mind just went off, I’m sure you know that feeling.

      Like

  19. Now, that was Funny!!!
    Scott

    Like

  20. jillyfunnell says:

    I think these chaps would love Friday Fictioneers – after all they haven’t got the time to read anything much longer before somebody else gets despatched to his maker!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. granonine says:

    Love that last line. Amazing that a story about such gruesome characters can be so funny.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Iain Kelly says:

    I imagine the membership is quite exclusive and life expectancy quite short. Great fun.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      I feel sure you are correct on both counts, Iain.
      But there are no restrictions on age, gender, race or religion, so expect the Senile Slayer, the Curvaceous Killer and the Hindu Hitman to saunter in soon.

      Liked by 2 people

  23. pennygadd51 says:

    Teehee! “Sometimes I lapse a bit”! Nicely constructed tale, CE.

    Like

  24. Varad says:

    Yay! The Assassins Anonymous is official. Nice one, CE. Loved the twisted humor in this one.

    Like

  25. Anita says:

    Time lapse for ‘sorry’, but execution is perfect 🙂

    Like

  26. neilmacdon says:

    You have a dark, dark soul

    Liked by 1 person

  27. A murderer’s story, as you tell them so well. Have you committed many?

    Like

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