The Baby – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week
curious photo by Fatima Fakier Deria made me think of garden parties, and tea and scones in roadside tearooms, so I wrote something almost idyllic.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© Fatima Fakier Deria


Click here to hear the writer read his words:

The Baby

That baby’s all alone here,’ Emmy says.
I shake my head, without turning.
Nah, people don’t forget babies in roadside cafés.’
‘She’s just sitting there in her little chair.’
Reluctantly I look round.
I see a baby in a car safety-seat.
It’s strapped in,’ I point out, ‘It can hardly go walkabout, can it?’
‘She,’ snaps Emmy, ‘
It’s a she!’
‘Hmm,’ I say, ‘
Interesting grammatical construction.’
‘Look,’ she says, barely concealing her impatience, ‘
There are four cars parked, and four tables occupied. She is abandoned!’
‘Makes no sense,’ I say.
‘Why would anyone throw away a perfectly good car seat?’

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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75 Responses to The Baby – Friday Fictioneers

  1. I was expecting something so much more sinister.
    You got me with that one!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ha! I didn’t expect that last line. Well constructed and I loved this funny take on the prompt 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lol Gotta love the logic there.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. James McEwan says:

    i suspect it takes a logical mindset, after all a baby can be produced in by most people in nine months while a perfect car seat takes skill. UH.
    fine turn at the end. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Corine Gouy says:

    Ok , vers quelle heure Quentin peut il t’appeler ?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Truly idyllic, though I hope they don’t end up disturbing the poor baby unduly while ‘it’, OK ‘she’ is on her daily ride on the car seat.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. michael1148humphris says:

    Really enjoyed listening to you reading this one, smiled all the way to the end.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      Thank you, Michael, I am glad that someone listens to the reading!
      The joke here is that Emmy has absolutely no French accent, having spent the greater part of her life in the USA.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Can you leave the baby and keep the car-seat? Love your almost idyllic… This week I murdered more people than you 🙂

    Like

  9. Norma says:

    Haha! I had my share of laughter for today. Thanks Ceayr.
    I hope someone is not watching as to who will take The Baby.

    Like

  10. athling2001 says:

    Great twist! Instead of feeling for the woman’s compassion, we’re suddenly shown her greed and total lack of concern for the child. Of course, the man doesn’t sound much better.

    Like

  11. Great last line. My guess is the crying got too much and rather than be later held accountable for worse actions the baby was left, safely, with car seat attached. Babies shouldn’t be put in cars without one and presumably someone will eventually take her somewhere. Enjoyable story.

    Like

  12. I’m sure the car seat will be well taken care of.

    Like

  13. Corine Gouy says:

    Comme tu es un dieu mon cher CE , je vais parler de toi à mon ami Quentin Tarantino !

    Like

  14. Oh, what a cad! Thanks for the smile,

    Like

  15. lisarey1990 says:

    Great story. Excellent last line.

    Like

  16. Lynn Love says:

    Ha! A much quieter life without the contents of that chair, that’s for certain! Love the cruel/funny twist to the dialogue. Nicely done C

    Like

  17. pennygadd51 says:

    CE, you’re a wicked man! But a funny one.

    Like

  18. Sandra says:

    Ever the practical one, hey? I came here expecting murder and mayhem and I get humour with a mercenary twist. Good one.

    Like

  19. Moon says:

    It’s a lot of work taking care of a baby. Probably, the reason why he is trying to divert Emmy.🙂

    Like

  20. Rowena says:

    CEayr, sometimes I worry about you. What did this poor baby ever do to you to be abandoned by the roadside?
    Well, as for the protagonist in the story, I’m starting to wonder if he didn’t sneak off and murder the parents. He seems particularly unemotional, verging on a psychopath. What does anyone else think?
    Needless to say, Emmy time to make a run for the car and leave this one far behind.
    What are you waiting for?
    xx Rowena

    Like

  21. granonine says:

    Oh, you totally got me with that last line 🙂

    Like

  22. emmylgant says:

    Good try C.E.! But Emmy’s accent eez a leettle off.
    But no matter, I forgive because you are a funny man and I laugh at your made up story. Still, next time, I sink I should read my own lines, non? Ppffitt!

    Like

  23. Joe Owens says:

    Oh he’s a sensitive one, huh?

    Like

  24. Car seat? I need a car seat. Where was it? That wascally baby stole it from me.
    LOL

    Like

  25. James says:

    Every once in a while, I read a story about a family with a ton of kids that manages to misplace one.

    Like

  26. Anita says:

    Hope the baby’s parents take her along soon.
    Glad they didn’t forget her inside the car. I have read a couple of news-reports in which parents had forgotten/left their babies in their car & then realized when it was too late…

    Like

  27. jillyfunnell says:

    “Interesting grammatical construction”.He’s a pompous git. Very funny story.

    Like

  28. Brilliant! And you make a very good point!

    Click to read my 99 words!

    Like

  29. Iain Kelly says:

    They are bloomin’ expensive, I wouldn’t let it go to waste.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Dear C.E.

    His concern is touching. Okay…I’ll admit it. I laughed.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  31. Haha! Nice one! Wasn’t expecting that ending at all 😆

    Like

  32. neilmacdon says:

    That made me laugh

    Like

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