Airport – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s stylish image by Melanie Greenwood made me think I should write a technical manual.
But, as I know nothing about aeroplanes, I didn’t.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

Copyright Melanie Greenwood

Copyright Melanie Greenwood

Airport

Christmas Eve.
The airport is packed with people desperate to fly south.
The blizzard still prohibits any take-offs.
Outside the streets are gridlocked.
No one is going anywhere.
There is no sign of a break in the weather.
We watch the news anxiously.
Almost everyone has a cell phone pressed to an ear.
What is happening elsewhere?
I get a call from my son, only fifty miles north of here.
Did you get away yet, he asks.
I can barely hear him above the background chaos.
You’ve got an hour, he says.
These things are indestructible.
We can’t stop th…

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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60 Responses to Airport – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Well done CE. Nice open ending

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  2. Very tight and tense, CE. I love the build up and dramatic end. Very well done!

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  3. Great pace to this story. I feel bad the guy list his son.

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  4. Margaret says:

    Love the tension in the build-up, but being left up in the air like that is …

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  5. lillian says:

    Pacing is excellent — frantic in and of itself. And the absolute cut-off at the end is
    🙂

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  6. mjlstories says:

    OMG it’s the village people!!!
    Can’t stop the music.

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  7. Wow, C.E. The tension built and then… I like Russell’s ending best. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne

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  8. jwdwrites says:

    And that is why you should never fly at Christmas!

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  9. Nice twist. We think it’s all a weather problem but it is actually ….. the Zombie Apocalypse! I took an early flight.

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  10. rgayer55 says:

    My guess is the plumbing is backed up and with a couple more flushes the entire sewer system will blow. Better make a run for it.

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  11. Wow, the tension built during your piece and then that ending…. Brilliant.

    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    Like

  12. gahlearner says:

    You’ve got an hour, he says.
    These things are indestructible.
    We can’t stop th…EM?
    Invasion of the Martians? Aliens? Zombies? Monsters from the sea? Very tense, I love it.

    Like

  13. d3athlily says:

    Wow. Very well paced, and that last line really upped the tension. Can’t be good, that’s for sure!

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  14. Graham Lawrence says:

    Fantastic pace and rhythm in those short sentences. You always seem to find compelling endings and this one is no different. Happy New Year!

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  15. ansumani says:

    That’s an interesting ending. Good one.

    Like

  16. Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
    AnElephantCant go up in a wee aeroplane
    He does not want to worry his mum so
    He flaps his big ears
    And with no qualms and no fears
    He zooms through the sky just like Dumbo

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The short sentences really work in this piece. And the cut off . . . Well done!

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  18. paulmclem says:

    Great pacing in this st…

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  19. I just hope it was the operator… a cut off like that really leave us hanging.

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  20. Dale says:

    Have to agree with everyone’s comments here! Great buildup and you totally leave us hanging…

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  21. That ending suddenly up the tension makes this whole piece so much more scary. Really great. (But odd that the first two stories both use a cut off technique)

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  22. That was tense. I was on the edge of my seat.

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  23. Sandra says:

    So many ways in which you’re getting across the feeling of urgency, panic and chaos so that it takes the reader along without even knowing what the threat is. Superb start to the new year CE.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. What is this today? This is the second story to end up in half the sentence. Must be something in the air. 🙂 Very intense, I would love to read more.

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  25. Dear CE,

    Methinks it’s more than the weather that’s causing the chaos. Effective ending that has me wondering what cut off the call. Ominous and well done as always.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  26. emmylgant says:

    You leave me discombobulated…Up in the air or grounded in a hellish moment.
    You definitely know how to build up a chaotic mess in a few words… and potent ellipsis!

    Like

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