Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s stylish image by Melanie Greenwood made me think I should write a technical manual.
But, as I know nothing about aeroplanes, I didn’t.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
Copyright Melanie Greenwood
Airport
Christmas Eve.
The airport is packed with people desperate to fly south.
The blizzard still prohibits any take-offs.
Outside the streets are gridlocked.
No one is going anywhere.
There is no sign of a break in the weather.
We watch the news anxiously.
Almost everyone has a cell phone pressed to an ear.
What is happening elsewhere?
I get a call from my son, only fifty miles north of here.
Did you get away yet, he asks.
I can barely hear him above the background chaos.
You’ve got an hour, he says.
These things are indestructible.
We can’t stop th…
Well done CE. Nice open ending
Thank you, sir, nice to be appreciated.
Very tight and tense, CE. I love the build up and dramatic end. Very well done!
You are my favourite, Dawn.
Thank you for bringing a modicum of sensible comment to my scarcely deserving splodge.
You are FAR too kind, dear sir. 😉
Great pace to this story. I feel bad the guy list his son.
Please don’t feel bad, Joseph, he is a fictional character with a fictional son.
No haggises were hurt in the writing of this story.
;0
Love the tension in the build-up, but being left up in the air like that is …
Unlike the aeroplanes, which are left on the ground?
Like a balloon?
Like an albatross?
Like twinkle twinkle little star?
Doesn’t matter, just glad you enjoyed.
Pacing is excellent — frantic in and of itself. And the absolute cut-off at the end is
🙂
You are very ki…
OMG it’s the village people!!!
Can’t stop the music.
What an interesting comment.
I don’t understand it at all.
Wow, C.E. The tension built and then… I like Russell’s ending best. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
Wow, Suzanne, thank you.
But please don’t encourage Russell, he will go away in a while.
And that is why you should never fly at Christmas!
Yes, indestructible invaders can spoil the best family holiday.
Nice twist. We think it’s all a weather problem but it is actually ….. the Zombie Apocalypse! I took an early flight.
And full advantage of the trolley service, it seems.
Cheers, Perry!
My guess is the plumbing is backed up and with a couple more flushes the entire sewer system will blow. Better make a run for it.
I am so glad you are here, Russell, no one else ever understands what I am trying to say.
Wow, the tension built during your piece and then that ending…. Brilliant.
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
Wow, thank you, Keith.
You’ve got an hour, he says.
These things are indestructible.
We can’t stop th…EM?
Invasion of the Martians? Aliens? Zombies? Monsters from the sea? Very tense, I love it.
Jings, the place will be mobbed with all those invaders.
Is it because of the Christmas sales?
Of course! Why didn’t I think of them? And the comments here are a priceless.
Wow. Very well paced, and that last line really upped the tension. Can’t be good, that’s for sure!
Glad it grabbed you, dear lady.
And it is not good, for sure.
Fantastic pace and rhythm in those short sentences. You always seem to find compelling endings and this one is no different. Happy New Year!
Thank you, sir.
But Happy New Year?
Were you off partying with whatsisname last week?
No we stayed in with the family chilling. Hope you had a great time yourself!
That’s an interesting ending. Good one.
I will settle for interesting, thank you.
Famous last words.
I told you I was ill.
LOL
Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
AnElephantCant go up in a wee aeroplane
He does not want to worry his mum so
He flaps his big ears
And with no qualms and no fears
He zooms through the sky just like Dumbo
The short sentences really work in this piece. And the cut off . . . Well done!
Thank you, Alicia, very happy you enjoyed.
Great pacing in this st…
Tha…
I just hope it was the operator… a cut off like that really leave us hanging.
I don’t think so, Bjorn.
Have to agree with everyone’s comments here! Great buildup and you totally leave us hanging…
Don’t pretend.
You never agree with anyone.
Riiiiighttt
That ending suddenly up the tension makes this whole piece so much more scary. Really great. (But odd that the first two stories both use a cut off technique)
Thank you, Claire, very kind.
And I have no control over other stories, suggest you speak to Rochelle!
That was tense. I was on the edge of my seat.
I hope it was comfy!
It was!
So many ways in which you’re getting across the feeling of urgency, panic and chaos so that it takes the reader along without even knowing what the threat is. Superb start to the new year CE.
Thank you, Sandra, I am glad that the mood caught you up.
What is this today? This is the second story to end up in half the sentence. Must be something in the air. 🙂 Very intense, I would love to read more.
Sorry, not responsible for other stories.
And 100 words are all used up, there is no more.
Dear CE,
Methinks it’s more than the weather that’s causing the chaos. Effective ending that has me wondering what cut off the call. Ominous and well done as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, m’lady, the weather is the least of their problems, it seems
You leave me discombobulated…Up in the air or grounded in a hellish moment.
You definitely know how to build up a chaotic mess in a few words… and potent ellipsis!
Then my job here is done.