Carry Out – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant keep this a secret
He sadly has never been to Barcelona
It does look exquisite
But if he goes to visit
He doesn’t know anyone so he is all alone there

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Our Catalonian Commander Rochelle takes us on a Mediterranean meander to inspire spectacular Spanish stories.
And AnElephant is in a paella trouble.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

© Dee Lovering

© Dee Lovering

Carry Out

The port area is so crowded it is hard to move.
The restaurants and cafes are packed, the quayside lined with tourists watching the fireworks over the bay.
There are twelve of us, working in pairs.
We have strict limits on what we can do.
Karate is my thing.
I can immobilise silently and without permanent damage in more ways than I can count.
So I run interference.
To ensure the client gets the best product, undamaged.
My partner is well-built, good-looking in a nondescript sort of way.
Doesn’t look at all odd carrying a pretty girl in his arms.

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49 Responses to Carry Out – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Always with an eye on the pretty girls!


  2. afairymind says:

    You’ve created an incredibly disturbing story with the matter-of-fact narration coupled with the subject matter. I hate to think how many girls they’ve kidnapped in this way – they definitely sound well-practiced. Good story.


  3. Margaret says:

    Six girls being carried off! And six partners being karate chopped! And nobody bats an eye! I’m saying away from Barcelona fireworks demonstrations. Great story, Anelephant.


  4. Dale says:

    Nasty, nasty ones. Can’t trust the handsome non-descript ones at all…


  5. Terrifying tale, well written.


  6. storydivamg says:

    Dear Elephant,

    One certainly needn’t visit a location to write about it convincingly. Nice work this week.

    All my best,


  7. Nasty character there. I’ll keep away from the ports.


  8. Nan Falkner says:

    This is a good scary story! Wow – and you’re good at it! Have a great week! Nan


  9. What a story. Procuring women undamaged off the streets of Barcelona whilst the fireworks flash. Twelve of them working in pairs so assuming they each get one thats 6 women a night. What do they want them all for? I guess that’s another story.


  10. Oh. Creepy kidnappers hidden in plain sight.


  11. emmylgant says:

    David above expressed better than I was able to formulate. Scary tale. All the more so because of the cold, seemingly benign voice of the narrator.
    Personne ne le fait aussi bien que toi, tu sais cela, oui?


  12. I had Baltimore on my mind before I saw this prompt. Once I saw it it was all I saw.
    My niece, a very pretty girl, lives 20 minutes away from the Inner Harbor.
    I would have poo pooed this off a week ago, maybe called you a filthy name (your protagonist of course, not you my dear anelephant) but today I read this with bated breath.
    I want/ I need to rescue her and all the other young women who look at the world through the eyes of a 17 year old.


  13. You have a real gift for sincerely scary things sneaking up on the reader, wrapped in seemingly innocent prose. I know better by now. Great job, as always.


  14. Dear Elephant,

    They’re quite an engaging pair. Enough to make one’s skin crawl. Well done.




  15. bykimberlylynne says:

    Well that took an unexpected turn. If one can enjoy a gut-punch, I just did. Well done.


  16. Huh. Makes me think about what I would do if I saw someone carrying a woman through a crowded street. This one is going to stick with me…


  17. ansumani says:

    I’ll never look at a man carrying a girl the same way again after reading this. Scary stuff. The narration was excellent.


  18. Scary stuff…the narrative is so effortless and the subject is so heavy.


  19. wildbilbo says:

    Another disturbing one Elephant – and another one done well.


  20. Horus says:

    oooops – scary business – by cold professionals, more foxy than elephantine.


  21. That’s scary, Elephant. You took us inside the mind of someone who does human trafficing. Not a good place to be. Well done. Great description. — Suzanne


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