Neighbours – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant climb a tree
If he is high up he feels somewhat groggy
And although he is well-built
When he is wearing his kilt
He is much more embarrassing than that smart wee doggy

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Where a dogged Rochelle throws a bone to a pack of mixed breed scribblers.
And AnElephant proves his bite is worse than the tree’s bark.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Rochelle's Daughter-in-Law

Copyright Rochelle’s Daughter-in-Law


So what is happening now?
I think Mr Deschamps is helping Mummy with her breathing.
What is wrong with her breathing?
I can’t tell, but he is giving her mouth-to-mouth resuss, er, resush, em, aid!
Is she okay?
She seems to be, she is breathing much more deeply now.
Oh, is that Daddy’s voice?
Yes, his face is all red, I think he has hurried round there to help Mr Deschamps chop wood.
I thought he had central heating?
Well, Daddy has a big axe.
Is that Mummy screaming?
Yes, it is.
Daddy just lopped off Mr Deschamps’ head.

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72 Responses to Neighbours – Friday Fictioneers

  1. kerrieanns says:

    I absolutely love your take on this prompt. Such innocence in the child and dog. Poor Mr Deschamps! 😛


  2. annisik51 says:

    I like this: … a dogged Rochelle throws a bone to a pack of mixed breed scribblers … I’m honoured to be numbered among … can’t help thinking of that Disney film … The Lady and the Tramp.

    I like the angle of the story, from the viewpoint of an innocent child. I think you could have ended your excellent story at ‘axe’. The reader knows what’s coming after that.

    Now, keep your kilt on, this is constructive criticism.

    Hoping you had a happy Hogmanay. Ann


  3. JKBradley says:

    But he was only trying to help?!


  4. babso2you says:

    I am wondering if Mrs. Deschamps arranged this with Daddy, and if Mommy would be next? Hmmm… ^..^


  5. Oh my… the things our pups see. Clever and fun, AnElephant is.


  6. Well, if it’s Texas, Daddy can get off with a “heat of the moment” defense!
    Good one.


  7. draliman says:

    Blimey! I couldn’t see a decent way to kill somebody this week, so I’m glad you managed it 🙂


  8. No way to behave in front of a pet dog! Keep the blood flowing.


  9. elmowrites says:

    Oh dear, to have an accomplice on the lookout isn’t always a good thing!


  10. Adam Ickes says:

    This begs the question: is Daddy really daddy or is Mr. Deschamps really daddy?


  11. zookyworld says:

    I enjoyed how the action dawned on me as your story progressed — and when that big axe showed up, I just knew it was going to end badly for someone. A well-told story from the point of view of the watchers.


  12. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, dear! Well, somebody had to die this week…. Thank you for doing it in an amusing way 🙂 🙂


  13. RoSy says:

    Looks like someone started off the new year on the wrong foot & with a missing head…


  14. Al says:

    Haha brilliant 😀


  15. JackieP says:

    I knew there was a reason the suburbs scared me. haha! Great story 🙂


  16. Linda Vernon says:

    Ahaha! Gosh I hate it when that happens. 😀


  17. Ha maybe Mr Deschamps and mommy should of make sure where daddy was before the breathing started. Cute story.


  18. Danny James says:

    A headless Deschamps
    would result in lots of cramps

    Good One Mr. Anelephantcant!



  19. Haha! Guess someone was a little hacked off. 🙂



  20. JED says:

    Is it wrong that your story made me laugh? Great post.


  21. jwdwrites says:

    Another perfectly normal response in FF land! Good story Elephant. 🙂


  22. Ha.. nothing’s like a good neighbor.. Very amusing.


  23. mike olley says:

    As the song goes: ‘And that’s when neighbours become good friends.’


  24. paulmclem says:

    Start the year as you mean to go on Brian i.e. with a gory death!


  25. All this severing SE, where will it end, is the wife next? then the child? You could have regular blood bath happening.


  26. Dear Elephant,

    Appears that Mr. Deschamps lost his head over helping Mummy breathe. Thank you for your child’s eye view. I don’t know that I can call this story fun, but certainly black comedy and cleverly written.




  27. Sandra says:

    Just another day in suburbia then! 🙂 🙂 Nice one!


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