Sid Shovel, PI – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by
Douglas M. MacIlroy.

© Douglas M. MacIlroy


Click here to hear the author read his words:

Sid Shovel, PI

When she undulates into my office my eyes decide to pop out, just to be nearer her.
This dame has a body that can stop an express train hurtling down a mountain.
She sits and crosses her long, slender, nylon-clad legs.
I imagine everything from our first date to the grandchildren visiting before she finishes.
She hands me a cheque.
The string of zeroes reminds me of my favourite soccer team’s recent goal-scoring record.
She explains her problem in great detail and at great length.
Eventually she stops.
What do you think, she asks.
I’m sorry, I say, I wasn’t listening.

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69 Responses to Sid Shovel, PI – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Ha! Brilliant, I can relate to that, losing concentration to a fantasy can be tricky!

    Like

  2. patrick says:

    Excellent. Hope she doesn’t take back the cheque.

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  3. Love the style, and how the scene is so cinematic– . I can imagine Sid’s drawling voice saying ‘I wasn’t listening’

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  4. Indira says:

    A very amusing story, from the start to the end. LOL.

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  5. Lovely piece of crime noir, sir. It makes you wonder if any of them ever listened, the women that strode into their offices were always stunners. I wonder if it’s too late to set up as a gumshoe?

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  6. draliman says:

    Ha, I was just thinking as I read that he doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the reason she’s there! Though I guess I wouldn’t either 😉
    Great take on the genre.

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  7. Russell says:

    I can understand Sid being distracted, but come’on. She may want to find another too!

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  8. Liz Young says:

    Made me smile, CE, and I can hear the PI voice!

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  9. susanmehr says:

    Not listening is not going to get him to first base! Funny. 🙂

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  10. Undulates…love this homage to the old time PI tales.
    Ronda

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  11. plaridel says:

    just wondering if he can still rise to the occasion. 🙂

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  12. All that’s missing is ‘Say it again, Sam(antha)’.

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  13. granonine says:

    You had me laughing from beginning to end! Fun read 🙂

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  14. Nobbinmaug says:

    I thought we Americans were the only ones uncouth enough to call football soccer. How much arrogance is required to take the most popular game in the world and say, “We’re gonna call it something else. This is now football because… we say so.”?

    “I imagine everything from our first date to the grandchildren visiting before she finishes.” I’ve been there. I got a good laugh at the last line, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s hard to listen and ogling at the same time. She will not need the check to get you to work.

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  16. pennygadd51 says:

    This is excellent, CE. I giggled just about all the way through, then read it again just to giggle some more. Hilarious! I think my favourite line was “I imagine everything from our first date to the grandchildren visiting before she finishes.”

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Honestly, you men! 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  18. Each of us has to deal with his share of dames(synonym for broads) who have that kind of an affect upon him. It’s such a good story

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  19. Sandra says:

    He’s got his mind on the job, just not the job she wants doing. I don’t think he’ll earn enough to keep her in the manner to which she’s accustomed.

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  20. Colline says:

    This caused me to smile. Good one 🙂

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  21. trentpmcd says:

    I guess there is a reason Sam’s lesser known cousin is, well, lesser known… The language was spot on. I got a big chuckle out of it.

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  22. James McEwan says:

    I would say forget the first date; listening is the key activity towards success in this scenario. If she knew what he was thinking, he would be dead meat.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Anita says:

    🙂 🙂
    She has the figure & the figures!
    Absolutely great for staring & listening! Better start listening!
    Stay safe.

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  24. His imagination going from first date to grandchildren made me smile. Lovely writing.

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  25. Me suspects a femme fatale. Enjoyed that.

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  26. Mike says:

    But I was, long legs you say.🙂

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  27. Lynn Love says:

    Man, he really should be listening. She might be leading him into some very dangerous ways… Made me smile, C. Perfect 🙂

    Like

  28. M K Zebra says:

    Haha, this short story is a proper giggler. Stories can be silly and still well told.

    Like

  29. Iain Kelly says:

    Raymond Chandler with humour. Love it. (Although it’s called football, not soccer 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Tannille says:

    I’m sure he’ll work really hard for her if you know what I mean. 😀
    Great storytelling.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Dear CE,

    The descriptions made me laugh out loud. He needs to put those private eyes back in his head and listen to what she’s saying. 😉 Cute story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  32. neilmacdon says:

    A private eye without the presence of mind to know how to lie convincingly doesn’t deserve her business. Fun story!

    Like

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