Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
We just have to be creative.
The idea is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.
© Dee Lovering
The Park
I have to leave the house.
The kids are driving me crazy, and my husband is useless.
I leave my car by the long-closed tea rooms and walk through the park that I know and love so well.
Even in the darkness I find my way.
The stars are twinkling.
Gradually I restore my inner peace.
I turn for home.
As I approach my car, headlights sweep in.
I see the driver, illuminated by reflection from the snow.
The car stops beside mine, its lights extinguished.
I pause.
What is he doing?
I am suddenly afraid.
I wait.
And wait.
Very good story. I love it when I’m allowed to finish the story, then change my mind and finish it a different way.
Thank you, Scott.
Please feel free to finish the story as many ways as you please.
If it encouraged you to think about it, than I am happy.
Lovely rhythms.
Why thank you, dear lady.
Happy you enjoyed.
Nicely done, I hope she ran and ran… but then I’ll never know.
Thank you, but aren’t you thinking of Forrest Gump?
Yikes! Such tension and uncertainty at the end. Gripping.
I think that is my first ‘Yikes!’
Thank you so much!
Lovely piece. This is certainly my cup of tea. I do like to feel that tension in the air.
One lump or two, my dear Belinda?
Thank you, I am happy you enjoyed it.
As always. 🙂
That’s quite worrying. From the mundane to the scary. Bravo.
Thank you, Patrick, I do try to have a twist.
OMG … I thought she was going to be hit by the car. Is this a kidnapping?
Scarey … I wish there was more. I liked this very much. Good one …!!! 😎
Yes, I can see the ‘crackling with excitement’ bit that you describe!
Very happy you enjoyed.
When the headlights first swept the parking lot, I thought perhaps it was her husband looking for her. Now, I’m not so sure.
Scary — next time at the park, I’ll avoid the parking lot. Great story.
And once the doubt creeps in, the fear is quick to follow…
Thank you, glad you liked.
I had the same thought. Im not sure what she’s waiting for. I’d scream. This ine had a chilly ending!
No point in screaming when the person you’re afraid of is the only one who can hear you.
Thank you for visiting.
I’m Italian, we scream in any situation:) or at least talk loudly why gesturing wildly.
I’d scream, too!
Seems like it’s gonna be pretty noisy out there!
Uh-oh, I think I just soiled my shorts. I can hear her breathing and her heart is beginning to race.
I don’t suppose it is worth replying, because I assume you have gone home to change.
But (holding my nose) thank you for visiting again, sir!
Very nice take on the prompt. My first instinct was that there was something lurking as well. The photo has a sense of hidden mystery.
Something lurking.
What a wonderfully evocative phrase!
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this little gem.
What is she waiting for?
This is the part where we scream :Get the hell out of there!”
Hush, Dawn, he might hear you!
He hasn’t seen her.
Yet.
How quickly her peace turned to panic. Great shift that left me wanting more. Nice one!
Thank you, dear Amy, it is always rewarding when a story grabs a reader.
Mmmm, how long will she wait?
That is kinda up to you, Alicia, but probably until he moves or she gets so cold she is forced into action.
What do you think?
What a shift in tone! Maybe she didn’t appreciate what she had, maybe she’s about to find a strange kind of redemption.
Maybe, baby, or perhaps she is just in deep doodahs?
Oo-er! Life isn’t always a walk in the park!
How very percipient of you, Liz.
And thank you for sharing your thoughts.
From frustration to fear, that’s how it goes. In this world, a woman still can’t storm off to be alone for a while without having to fear violation and death. You’ve described that fear very well, I think every woman can call up this feeling immediately. Men must know similar fears, too, or else you’re a very empathic listener. In my ending, another frustrated woman jumps out of the car, they talk, laugh, and go for a coffee.
Empathy is my middle name.
I’m curious too as to what happens next…
Nothing.
Used up my 100 words.
I’m sure there was happy ending. Please tell me there was!
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
I will tell you whatever you want, dear Rosey, if you can arrange that I don’t have to prove I am not a robot every time I comment on your blog.
Exterminate, exterminate…
Good response, Mick. I hate that Captcha stuff too. It runs off a lot of readers.
Oops, I typed the wrong name. My apologies, sir.
Thank you.
I was beginning to think it was just me.
Just because you’re paranoid…
Nice build up of tension to the last line, quite scary!
Thanks, Sally, that was my intention.
Glad it worked for you.
Great tension build up here.
Cheers, WB
A. she freezes to death waiting. B. she walks home and her husband who is in the other car goes looking for her and freezes to death before he can shoot her dead. (the reason he’s driving a different car) or C. they both die, neither car will start and they both freeze. LOL Sorry, couldn’t resist.
That’s okay, Yolanda, I have 63 other endings.
One of which is the real one.
Thank you for thinking about it, and taking the time to comment.
I was reading along, enjoying the lady’s escape to peace and tranquility and then, and then, and then!
Och! CEA/AEC/BC!
Ah Dale, you just get so involved, don’t you, sweet lady.
Just plain CE is fine.
But you can call me whatever you choose.
I do indeed. No worries, I’ll go with the flow, CE!
I’m in the minority, but I’m seeing a prince on a white horse. But I love a fairytale.
Tracey
She has a husband and children at home!
And how does he get the white horse in the car?
I love this comment!
Uh magic?
Good answer!
Interesting. I’m curious to know who is in the car too. Maybe next week?
Glad to have caught your interest.
Who do you think is in the car?
A clue: It is not her husband
Ooh, what happens next? 🙂
Ooh, whatever you like!
Oh, goodie!
Great tension, C.E. Nice work this week.
MG
Thanks, MG, happy you enjoyed it.
excellent cliffhanger! Very Margaret Atwood 😉 Do we get to find out what happened, or should we make up our own happy ending?
Sound Bite Fiction always invites the reader to fill in the blanks.
Glad you enjoyed.
The perfect cliff-hanger, CE. The suspense is killing me.
Very kind words, Sandra, but I trust your second comment is not too literal!
“…the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.” Aptly stated C.E. 🙂
If we are left to our own imagination here, then I don’t give good odds on her safety. Scary!
PS: I just noticed your Author photo-link. How nice to have a name and a face to go with your AEC moniker. Has it always been there and I missed it? I hope not!
It is difficult to disagree, isn’t it?
And your imagination can take my character where it will.
That is always the reader’s choice.
The photo link has always been on this blog.
The abominable Elephant prefers to be portrayed as pinkly peripatetic.
Dear CE,
This feels like the intro to something bigger. A good build of tension in few words. You caught the woman’s frustration with her husband and kids. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
My dear Rochelle,
Thank you, I live for your praise!
I think that many 100 word stories scream to be expanded.
But that is another day, another genre, perhaps another life.
We will see.
Talk about a cliffhanger… I’m in two minds now. Tempted to ask for a sequel, but then again, this leaves one wondering in a good way… Well written!
I am flattered by your praise, sir.
But I don’t do sequels.
Usually.
But Mighty Rochelle’s instructions are clear, a complete story, so this is it.
This is very intense. Great work.
Thank you, dear lady, I am happy that it worked for you.
Well written piece.
Thank you, sir, that is my goal.
Now, we’ll never know.
Good piece CEA
Thanks, ML, glad you enjoyed.
This is very good. Starts with the domestic and familiar and ends up really scary – but trusts the reader’s imagination for the details. Love the simple repetition at the end.
Thank you, MJ, if I may call you that.
Praise is wonderful to receive, and you have accurately grasped the concept of Sound Bite Fiction.
The reader fills in the detail, I just tell the story.
scary ending but what happens then, I wondered 🙂 Thank you, love, nia
Ah, sweet Nia, we will never know.
Thanks for visiting, always a pleasure to see you here.
Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
AnElephantCant claim he’s a hero
He is probably on the careful side of wary
He tries to impress
But has to confess
He finds C. E. Ayr’s story quite scary
Yeah, get over yourself