The Park – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
We just have to be creative.
The idea is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.

© Dee Lovering

© Dee Lovering

The Park

I have to leave the house.
The kids are driving me crazy, and my husband is useless.
I leave my car by the long-closed tea rooms and walk through the park that I know and love so well.
Even in the darkness I find my way.
The stars are twinkling.
Gradually I restore my inner peace.
I turn for home.
As I approach my car, headlights sweep in.
I see the driver, illuminated by reflection from the snow.
The car stops beside mine, its lights extinguished.
I pause.
What is he doing?
I am suddenly afraid.
I wait.
And wait.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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87 Responses to The Park – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Scott says:

    Very good story. I love it when I’m allowed to finish the story, then change my mind and finish it a different way.

    Like

  2. Dee says:

    Nicely done, I hope she ran and ran… but then I’ll never know.

    Like

  3. Margaret says:

    Yikes! Such tension and uncertainty at the end. Gripping.

    Like

  4. Belinda Crane says:

    Lovely piece. This is certainly my cup of tea. I do like to feel that tension in the air.

    Like

  5. That’s quite worrying. From the mundane to the scary. Bravo.

    Like

  6. OMG … I thought she was going to be hit by the car. Is this a kidnapping?
    Scarey … I wish there was more. I liked this very much. Good one …!!! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  7. phylor says:

    When the headlights first swept the parking lot, I thought perhaps it was her husband looking for her. Now, I’m not so sure.
    Scary — next time at the park, I’ll avoid the parking lot. Great story.

    Like

  8. rgayer55 says:

    Uh-oh, I think I just soiled my shorts. I can hear her breathing and her heart is beginning to race.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      I don’t suppose it is worth replying, because I assume you have gone home to change.
      But (holding my nose) thank you for visiting again, sir!

      Like

  9. OnChi says:

    Very nice take on the prompt. My first instinct was that there was something lurking as well. The photo has a sense of hidden mystery.

    Like

  10. What is she waiting for?
    This is the part where we scream :Get the hell out of there!”

    Like

  11. Amy Reese says:

    How quickly her peace turned to panic. Great shift that left me wanting more. Nice one!

    Like

  12. Mmmm, how long will she wait?

    Like

  13. What a shift in tone! Maybe she didn’t appreciate what she had, maybe she’s about to find a strange kind of redemption.

    Like

  14. liz young says:

    Oo-er! Life isn’t always a walk in the park!

    Like

  15. gahlearner says:

    From frustration to fear, that’s how it goes. In this world, a woman still can’t storm off to be alone for a while without having to fear violation and death. You’ve described that fear very well, I think every woman can call up this feeling immediately. Men must know similar fears, too, or else you’re a very empathic listener. In my ending, another frustrated woman jumps out of the car, they talk, laugh, and go for a coffee.

    Like

  16. adamjasonp says:

    I’m curious too as to what happens next…

    Like

  17. I’m sure there was happy ending. Please tell me there was!
    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog

    Like

  18. Nice build up of tension to the last line, quite scary!

    Like

  19. wildbilbo says:

    Great tension build up here.

    Like

  20. A. she freezes to death waiting. B. she walks home and her husband who is in the other car goes looking for her and freezes to death before he can shoot her dead. (the reason he’s driving a different car) or C. they both die, neither car will start and they both freeze. LOL Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      That’s okay, Yolanda, I have 63 other endings.
      One of which is the real one.
      Thank you for thinking about it, and taking the time to comment.

      Like

  21. Dale says:

    I was reading along, enjoying the lady’s escape to peace and tranquility and then, and then, and then!
    Och! CEA/AEC/BC!

    Like

  22. I’m in the minority, but I’m seeing a prince on a white horse. But I love a fairytale.
    Tracey

    Like

  23. Interesting. I’m curious to know who is in the car too. Maybe next week?

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Ooh, what happens next? 🙂

    Like

  25. storydivamg says:

    Great tension, C.E. Nice work this week.

    MG

    Like

  26. excellent cliffhanger! Very Margaret Atwood 😉 Do we get to find out what happened, or should we make up our own happy ending?

    Like

  27. Sandra says:

    The perfect cliff-hanger, CE. The suspense is killing me.

    Like

  28. Lynda says:

    “…the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.” Aptly stated C.E. 🙂

    If we are left to our own imagination here, then I don’t give good odds on her safety. Scary!

    PS: I just noticed your Author photo-link. How nice to have a name and a face to go with your AEC moniker. Has it always been there and I missed it? I hope not!

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      It is difficult to disagree, isn’t it?
      And your imagination can take my character where it will.
      That is always the reader’s choice.
      The photo link has always been on this blog.
      The abominable Elephant prefers to be portrayed as pinkly peripatetic.

      Like

  29. Dear CE,

    This feels like the intro to something bigger. A good build of tension in few words. You caught the woman’s frustration with her husband and kids. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      My dear Rochelle,
      Thank you, I live for your praise!
      I think that many 100 word stories scream to be expanded.
      But that is another day, another genre, perhaps another life.
      We will see.

      Like

  30. Vinay Leo R. says:

    Talk about a cliffhanger… I’m in two minds now. Tempted to ask for a sequel, but then again, this leaves one wondering in a good way… Well written!

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      I am flattered by your praise, sir.
      But I don’t do sequels.
      Usually.
      But Mighty Rochelle’s instructions are clear, a complete story, so this is it.

      Like

  31. This is very intense. Great work.

    Like

  32. MrBinks says:

    Well written piece.

    Like

  33. micklively says:

    Now, we’ll never know.
    Good piece CEA

    Like

  34. mjlstories says:

    This is very good. Starts with the domestic and familiar and ends up really scary – but trusts the reader’s imagination for the details. Love the simple repetition at the end.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Thank you, MJ, if I may call you that.
      Praise is wonderful to receive, and you have accurately grasped the concept of Sound Bite Fiction.
      The reader fills in the detail, I just tell the story.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. niasunset says:

    scary ending but what happens then, I wondered 🙂 Thank you, love, nia

    Like

  36. Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
    AnElephantCant claim he’s a hero
    He is probably on the careful side of wary
    He tries to impress
    But has to confess
    He finds C. E. Ayr’s story quite scary

    Liked by 6 people

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