The Wish – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant find any inspiration
His problems this week are rapidly mounting
But he girds his loins
Finds some coins
And throws them into the fountain

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Fairy Godmother Rochelle makes dreams come true for wistful weavers of fantastic fiction.
And AnElephant falls down the well.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Rachel Bjerke

Copyright Rachel Bjerke

The Wish

He sits gently rubbing her stomach.
Look, Rab, he says, your new sister is getting restless in Mummy’s tummy.
The little boy clambers up, grinning happily.
Baby, he says, laying his face against his mother’s stomach.
Not long now, she says, stroking his hair, then Mummy can play again, we’ll have lots of fun.
She looks around their tiny bed-sit.
I wish we had more room, she says to her husband, I’d give absolutely anything for a little more space.

The doctor looks at them with tired eyes.
It is very advanced, he says.
Your son has only weeks to live.

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69 Responses to The Wish – Friday Fictioneers

  1. hafong says:

    A nice story with a surprise sad ending. 😦



  2. mjlstories says:

    I’d give absolutely anything to know where you get these ideas.
    Nooooooo I didn’t mean that!


  3. Man, that’s sad! Good job


  4. Margaret says:

    A lovely scene of hope and love, and then heartbreak. Well delivered.


  5. Oof! What a twist. Be careful what you ask for. You just might get it!


  6. AnnIsikArts says:

    Oh, the saddest tale so far. It happens. Life can deal some cruel cards. I hope there is a miracle of science – or faith – and the boy lives. There are some good cards dealt, sometimes. It does happen. Your story could go either way, beyond the cliffhanger. 🙂


  7. ah, the carelessness of a wish! So well done.


  8. Indira says:

    Very sad ending but beautifully written.


  9. Oh, the pain of these words. I am heart broken. The ending made me shake. Powerful in every way.


  10. storydivamg says:

    Dear Elephant,
    A well-written tale. I admit I reread the first bit after I read the ending and then reread the ending a few times. Is the mother’s wish the reason for the child’s illness? I’d rather go with the old Russian tale about the wise man who had a housewife bring a goat, horse, chicken, etc., into the house. When the livestock was evacuated, the tiny home felt big indeed.

    As to the Monkey’s Paw–Edgar Allen Poe has a story about that nefarious wish granter as well. Creepy stuff.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail


    • Thank you for your considered comments, Marie Gail.
      AnElephant is happy that you prefer the old tale of the overcrowded home, which is so much more elegant than his poor offering.
      And he is flattered that Mr Poe is mentioned on his blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. What a twist! I feel horrible for that little boy, can’t believe he won’t be meeting his little sister, and she will never know her big brother. ):


  12. Sure didn’t see that one coming…went from Aesop to Stephen King. Well-written…and I LOVE THE VERSE IN THE BEGINNING…GIRD HIS LOINS – THREW SOME COINS…paraphrasing but love your lightness. It’s heart-warming.


  13. Jan Brown says:

    Oh, dear. The gods of the fountain took their wish too literally!

    Well written…wraps tightly around my heart.


  14. Oh, this one really hurt my heart. Such promise in the beginning, just to have it ripped away at the end.
    So sad. Well done.


  15. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    Be careful what you wish for, right. Sad story well told. In the end no change in the room they have, but another level of despair built on top of their cares. Well done.




  16. What a tragic twist to this. Very well-written. I like the muted effect of no quotation marks.


  17. Very sad indeed. “Be careful what you wish for.” A ‘punch in the gut’ ending. Beautifully written.


  18. bonniehofkin says:

    Very sad indeed but I remain somewhat buoyed with my image of AnElephantCant
    with “girded loins”.

    Thank you for that.


  19. bykimberlylynne says:

    I have woken the dogs from their morning nap with my yowl and you are not here to walk them for me… Not a happy reader right now, but such an excellent flash I must forgive you. Very well done.


  20. This is heartbreaking…but beautifully written.


  21. This is even worse after reading Bjorn’s story just prior to reading yours. The line about giving anything for a little more space is, in light of the last lines, almost too much to bear. Wonderful! You girded your loins admirably!



  22. Sandra says:

    A powerfully sad story, bitterly so in fact. Well done.


  23. ansumani says:

    What’s all the space in the world worth without life..without someone to play with………… the wasted fireplaces in the picture…Beautiful and touching story!


  24. emmylgant says:

    Be careful what you wish for…
    Once more my heart sank with that awful ending.
    But, as always,very well told.


  25. There’s a kick in the teeth. So sad.


  26. micklively says:

    I feel like I’ve been stabbed! I didn’t see that coming.


  27. Dear Elephant,

    Oh dear, already I see that this prompt is inspiring some very sad stories. As a mother, the thought of losing a child and such a young one, is unfathomable. Very well crafted and told.




  28. Oh. this is very sad.. so sad… A new daughter but a son that’s lost.. and such an awful way for a wish to come true.


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