AnElephantCant speak Turkish
He may be considered an uneducated linguistic fool
But though he is a bit of a dunce
He finds it no hindrance
He has never been to old Istanbul
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Where Chief Travel Agent Rochelle provides the tickets to take us journeying through the fictional lands populated by sun-drenched scribblers of byzantine tales.
And AnIngenuousElephant.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright – Sean Fallon
The Note
As he approaches his apartment building a smile lights up his face.
She is on the balcony, engrossed in reading something.
He is home early, slipped away from the store to see if she needed anything.
They are not long married, expecting a first child, so in love.
He practically dances across the street, oblivious to the traffic.
He whistles up to her, the whistle she recognises immediately.
She looks startled, unsettled, but then smiles and waves.
A sudden gust steals the slip of paper from her fingers.
It floats gently down towards the steps where he stands, still happy.
such a well-told story..but can’t help hoping that he would miss the paper and she would reform her character..but that is impossible. the poor man
Deaer AEC,
Moments pregnant with possibility and promise. Your story was a subtly told and has fired up my imagination. Hoping for a happy ending, fearing there won’t be one.
Aloha,
Doug
Running a bit late this week, Doug!
Your visit and kind words much appreciated.
What in the world are you doing here, my beloved wife was suppossed to return today from Istanbul, but the flight is delayed…glad I will not be sharing more parallels to your story, great stuff!
Hmm, AnElephant is a spinner of tales, not a fortune teller.
You are on your own here, my friend!
Glad you enjoyed.
‘Oblivious to the traffic …’ red herring. Slip of paper – excellent use of a prop. Small prop with a big impact. I don’t get the bit about the Turkish language.
Glad you picked up on the clues, hope you enjoyed.
The language reference is because Marshall Boya is a Turkish Department Store.
That’s all.
Ah! Got it! You spotted something in the photo I didn’t this week! Bit ironic … 🙂
And I should have added: teşekürler 🙂
Funny, I never knew that but thought that the picture looked somehow Turkish as well. Can’t help but wonder what was in that note! Good story that left us guessing. 🙂
Thank you, ma’am, glad you enjoyed.
Oh no. At least one of them is in for a terrible shock. How very sad… Very well written though, Mr Heffalump!
Thank you, dear Freya, you are very perceptive.
Not looking good at all!
Oh my anxiety levels raised with each happy step he made…each clue leading to disaster for the poor dumb guy…sigh. You write a mean 100 words…fantastic!
AnElephant blushes now!
Thank you for your very kind words.
🙂
My disquiet began with “He’s home early…” “so in love” bothered me a bit, of then came an inner lurch as he danced oblivious through the traffic, I was unnerved by her being “startled, unsettled” and then my heart stopped at “still”. For an elephant you’re fiendishly human in what you managed to make 100 words do to this reader. Fortunately, because you had to stop where you did, that note never arrives. WE may guess at what it contains but HE’S still happy… Great story!
AnElephant appreciates your spot-on analysis of his little tale.
You picked up on the clues and the build-up, and got the punch line.
Thank you for your time and your kind words.
I enjoyed the story, thank you.
AnElephant thanks you, Sandra.
He is confused that your kind comment went into Spam???
Shattered, just in tatters I am…
You build the story so well and make it pivot on one word! Fantastic skills.
Thank you.
Happy to shatter and tatter you!
Vraiment?
I stumbled when he was oblivious to traffic while crossing the street — I was dreading the screech of brakes and thud of impact. Then “unsettled” unsettled me, and I dreaded the note floating down and thudding impact of it hitting his hand, and then the words hitting his eyes. Can we hit the pause button and pluck the note from the air and burn it? Please? (I’m grateful to the comments, as they shed more understanding light on what was going on, but that dread is still there. Now I need another soothing tea.)
Thank you for your comment.
You get today’s star prize!
AnElephant is disappointed you needed comments to understand his little tale.
He is interested to know what he did not make clear.
Enjoy your tea.
I think I was so caught up in the possibilities raised by the actions (him getting hit by a car, what was in the note) that I was sluggish in my reading. I wouldn’t change a thing about the story. 100 words limits how much we can explain. Plus, I enjoy stories that don’t hit me over the head with explanation. I like that yours is subtle — as that adds to the dreading feeling.
AnElephant is grateful for your explanation.
Thank you for taking the time to return and add to the discussion.
Very happy you enjoyed.
We need another gust of wind to stop that note from ever reaching him. Nicely done.
Thanks, Mike, but does it really matter in the long run?
No, it’s merely delaying the inevitable.
I love the suspense of this story, Love is truly blind!
Why thank you, Glynis.
And love is certainly very short sighted at best!
Uh oh AnelephantCant! You lost me. But then again I’m terrible at figuring out plots to movies too!! 😀
The piece of paper is still floating down.
He is still happy.
Anything else?
Always a pleasure to see your smiling face here, dear Linda.
Ah! I get it now! What a great story!! 😀
You are so sweet!
Thank you.
Oh, geez, the poor guy! Yes, he’s still happy until he sees the note which could run the gamut from a lover to the wife being a alien who married him to eat him. Deftly written!
Thank you, Perry, glad you got involved in the possibilities!
Oh why, oh why must AnElephant burst our bubble? Pop! I once loved elephants and now approach them cautiously. Alas… Well done, sir.
AnElephant is merely the messenger, sweet lady.
He is as devastated as you are by the outcome!
You made us care about that poor man, MrAnelephant. Of course, we want to ignore your well-placed and subtle clues. But deep down we know…
Thank you, Karen, but of course you know.
There would be no story otherwise!
A note from her lover, no doubt. 🙁
Oh Dawn, what a cynic you are!
But lovely to see you here, as always.
My guess as well. But then that would be too easy. And an elephant is never that predictable…or is it?
Sorry, HugMamma, AnElephantCant explain further. He has used up his 100 words and if he exceeds his quota rumbustious Rochelle will beat him with a barbecued buttercup.
ha, ha. This elephant never ceases to amaze with its words of merry mischief-making. hugs large enough to wrap around your pink, mountainous body…
Aww, shucks, ma’am …..
a cowboy elephant? now that i’d like to see…
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true:
http://anelephantcant.me/2013/01/30/posses-n-hosses/
I’m glad I asked for it…and I’m passing it along to my readers too! You…elephant…make me laugh, uproariously!
Wow, what a hook. Brilliant job of leaving everyone wanting more, shame on you 😉
Thank you.
AnElephant lives for ‘Shame on you’ comments!
Well, I am not happy with this story. He crosses the street, oblivious to the traffic, yet he is not run over. We do not have any idea about the note, and really, I feel un-satisfied with your tale this week, oh elephant. I want some indication of what the hell is happening.
Well, the run down is this:
Rochelle only allows 100 words, or she savages AnElephant with a fermented feather.
But if you post your request to him, on $100 bills, he will reveal all.
Hugs
Or you could just read the comments below.
There are clues galore there!
i have a feeling that his happiness is about to be shattered. oh well, it was good while it lasted. 🙂 AnElephantCant did a great job in leaving the tiny clues
Thank you, dear kz, AnElephant has a feeling you are on the button here.
The only question that remains is what bad news does the note hold? Wonderful story, Sir Elephant.
Thank you, dear sir, very happy you enjoyed.
No no no no no. I’m not having it. The note can be something to do with how healthy the foetus is, and then he falls to pieces with happiness. You have a reader here who’s stubbornly made up her mind.
It is yours to make, my dear Misskzebra.
Or may I call you Spot?
You can call me anything, as long as I don’t understand the reference enough to be insulted by it!
AnElephant once had a pet zebra.
He called him Spot.
It is a joke.
Almost.
Brilliant!
AnElephant blushes.
Thank you, dear lady.
😀
That word “still” in the last line is a killer. You did a wonderful job setting up the foreboding. I was expecting him to get hit by a car while she watched, but this is worse. Great story though.
Thank you, David, you are very kind.
It is gratifying when a story in so few words really works, so AnElephant is a happy bunny!
The last part of that last line left us hanging in the most terrible way. Being a FF story, I can’t help but expect the worst, yet your story was so happy that I hope I’m wrong.
janet
Great news, Janet, you are not wrong!
Sorry, it is AnElephant’s way.
Oh so poignant! A wonderful image. And I know it will be bad news just from your last too words ‘still happy’. I don’t want him to pick it up.
You are too sweet, but he does, of course.
See comment below.
Does he read the note before he falls to pieces??? questions..questions..
And the lady wins a coconut!
That is the other tie in to the picture!
A very close call…or was it…I agree, its all on that piece of paper settling into his happy hand..
It is indeed.
If you reread the start of the 3rd last line there is a clue.
Dear Sir elephant, I cant help but think there is something not so good upon that note. Crushed love, the note or the lorry he doesn’t see?
Ya think, Sir ST2?
Wouldn’t be much point to the story otherwise, would there!
Cool, I like that 🙂
Thank you, Al, glad you enjoyed.
Dear Elephant,
I’m so hoping that note is good news. Nicely done.
shalom,
Rochelle
And yet you know it is not so, do you not?
Thank you.
Alas, I know.