AnElephantCant deny it
This week he is right on the ball
When he sees the phone
He hears everyone groan
He is about to make a trunk call!
It is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright Danny Bowman
Twenty five years and I still miss your mum every day.
Aye, she was so happy too, moving into that new house.
That’s what killed her, you know, all the exertion and stress of moving.
And if the ambulance had been ten minutes earlier they could have saved her.
Imagine, eh, if that phone hadn’t been vandalised by some idiot just the previous night.
You must have nearly seen who did it!
I remember you charging out in a terrible mood, angry at leaving all your old pals behind.
You really grew up that day.
Looked after me ever since as if you blamed yourself.
Sound Bite Fiction 
oh my, this broke my heart.. but brilliantly told.
LikeLike
Hmm. I hope dad doesn’t think too hard about what he just said. Great story – so much said so tightly.
LikeLike
Excellent piece!
LikeLike
This had me gasping in shock. I hope his Dad doesn’t find out. They’ve both suffered so much – the son even more so. Living with guilt for twenty-five years is punishment enough. Well written and great take on the prompt.
LikeLike
I enjoyed this sad story!
LikeLike
Well, AnElephant is delighted that you are happy to be sad!
That is the point of 100 word stories, he thinks.
LikeLike
😉
LikeLike
Really well done! I laughed at the ‘trunk’ part, but the other one is so sad.
LikeLike
Ah, well, the ups and downs of life!
Thanks for visiting.
LikeLike
Both of these pieces are just terrific. Great job all the way around.
LikeLike
Thank you, Sandra, very happy you enjoyed.
LikeLike
I love the subtlety of this, all the story that’s implied but not explicitly said. Great job.
LikeLike
AnElephant has confidence in his readers!
Thank you for stopping by.
LikeLike
A lot of story in a 100 words. I’m amazed.
LikeLike
Just seemed to pack it in this week!
Thank you for visiting.
LikeLike
Guilt is a true motivator.
LikeLike
But can there ever be redemption?
LikeLike
Spot. On. Perfect play off the prompt!
LikeLike
High praise, gratefully accepted!
LikeLike
Well deserved!
LikeLike
That was sone kind of story.. quite a few grizzly details to be filled in by us. Great take.
LikeLike
Hi, Bjorn, glad you liked and confident you can fill in the blanks!
LikeLike
I cannot imagine trying to deal with that type of feeling for the rest of your life. What a dramatic piece.
LikeLike
Thanks, Joe, glad it got to you!
LikeLike
Ouch! A whole lifetime isn’t going to take that guilt away is it? Really good story.
LikeLike
Thank you, Trudy, glad you enjoyed it.
LikeLike
Karma can be really nasty sometimes. Great take on the prompt!
LikeLike
As we say here, what goes around, comes around!
LikeLike
That’s a little scary! – I like it.
Scott
Mine:
http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/friday-fictioneers-52413-wrong-number-genre-humorous-pg13/
LikeLike
Thanks for your visit and comment.
LikeLike
A “trunk call” and as an elephant is want to do – a story that one can never forget. A terrific twosome. Randy
LikeLike
Fulsome praise, randy, very much appreciated!
LikeLike
You can’t beat a bit of dramatic monologue now and again. A chilling story.
Claire
LikeLike
Glad you liked the approach, thank you.
LikeLike
neat. well written
LikeLike
Thank you, Nightlake.
LikeLike
The poem was as delightful as the prose was poignant. We got our money’s worth out of you from this one! 😀
LikeLike
And it was free – great value for money!
LikeLike
Good story, and the elephant poem was great. I actually now suspect the elephant broke the phone…
LikeLike
Hah! Caught in the act!
LikeLike
Loved the trunk call and the terrible twist at the end of the story. Well done.
janet
LikeLike
Thank you, Janet, AnElephant tries his best!
LikeLike
Thanks, Elephant! I liked the poem and the story. Two for the price of one. Neat!
LikeLike
You are very welcome, glad you enjoyed both!
LikeLike
Just playing… enjoy!
http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/disconnect-friday-fictioneers-just-jules/
LikeLike
Talk about yin yang here. I guess your trunk calls do balance out the sadness of your story! Both are excellent of course, as always! 🙂
LikeLike
Seems like there are two sides to every Elephant!
Hugs
LikeLike
Just two? 🙂 xo
LikeLike
Oh, yeah, just an upside and a downside, hadn’t you noticed?
LikeLike
a laugh with that one, well I noticed a lot of other nuances as well. Tree hugging among others!
LikeLike
Superbly crafted short short.
AnElephantCan make me gasp consistently with shock, delight, dismay,within the last five words of his stories. Amazing storyteller. Vraiment genial ton histoire et tres troublante… Ce qui la rend encore plus riche. Bravo.
LikeLike
Aw, shucks!
LikeLike
Yes, awful implications in this well-crafted tale. Loved the poem as well.
LikeLike
Very kind, glad you enjoyed.
LikeLike
And that my friend Elephant is why my family got involved with our volunteer Fire/aide service. Father-in-law he should rest (now) had heart issues. And hubby wanted to be able to not wait for assistance. Always good to at least know CPR and basic first aid. Even though they keep changing the program (CPR). Some family members are also state ceritified EMT’s (Emergency Medical Technicians.)
I’m thinking I like this prompt and might write another piece, though I haven’t yet. I’ve only got the Vamp piece up. I’ll let you know if I do. Cheers.
LikeLike
Thanks for your comments, Jules.
Any piece you submit will be brilliant!
LikeLike
Loved both submissions (poem and flash) for different reasons. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much, I do appreciate that!
LikeLike
How awful to live with the guilt of a foolish decision made as a young person.
Oh, wait, I’ve been doing that my whole life 😉
LikeLike
Thank you for commenting.
Not sure what else to say here!
LikeLike
Humorous poem about the elephant making a trunk call.
Lovely play on words.
I’m not sure I got the story right. Was the person in question the one who vandalized the phone and has been feeling guilty about their mom’s death?
LikeLike
Well, Dad hasn’t reached that conclusion, but see other comments.
LikeLike
A great story, leaving me kind of weeping.
LikeLike
Oh, sorry!
But thanks for kind words.
LikeLike
Dear Elephant,
Not sure which I liked better, your story or your trunk call verses. 😉 One made me sad the other made me laugh out loud.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
AnElephant tries to entertain!
LikeLike
a tragic and chilling tale ! and as Alastair points it out the implication are awful.
LikeLike
Sometimes we pay a heavy price for our mistakes.
LikeLike
Chilling!
LikeLike
Thank you, Donna!
LikeLike
Tragic and so true. The window of time available for recovery is short in cases of heart attack.
Its always the delay. Here the traffic jams kill more people than heart attacks.
A very innovative use of the prompt. Hats off.
LikeLike
Thanks for visiting and commenting. Very much appreciated.
LikeLike
Oh dear. The implications of that are awful. 😦 What a tragic story, caused out of anger. Excellent story again.
Suppose it could have been worse – you could have made the trunk call in your trunks 😉
LikeLike