The Great New Min Min Challenge:
In less than 250 words write a story about “Dark Side of the Moon”.
Click here to hear the author read his words:
Woke as a Duck
I’m the first to admit that I’m not the wokest guy around.
Apparently my Wokitude sucks.
In my day, if your name was Russell, you didn’t just say ‘Mummy, I want to be a girl, boys are rough and smelly’ and turn up for school in a dress.
Or, for that matter, ‘Mummy, I want to be a boy, Ms Oscar Knuckledrag tickles me with her beard’ and learn to curse and spit.
I blame Pink Floyd.
Based on the success of their uncle Pretty Boy, they merged a girly colour with a blokey name to become a popular musical combo, their success culminating in an album so famous that I wrote a poem about it: https://ceayr.com/2021/03/07/the-night/
But I digress, mainly so I can pretend that this rant has anything to do with Doug’s prompt.
The other day I see my friend Rodney strolling along and waving his (I say ‘his’ because he’s a guy, okay?) arms around like a numpty.
‘Hi Dave,’ I say. ‘What in tarnation y’all a-doin’ there?’
Why I decide to become a hill-billy remains unclear.
He looks at me askance.
‘I’m practising flying, of course.’
I look at him even askancer.
‘You think you’ll fly by waving your arms around as described above?’
He shakes his head sadly.
‘Not now, obviously, because I’m a man. (See, I told you!) But next week I plan to self-identify as a canary, so I’ll need to fly or I’ll just look stupid.’
Anybody got a cat?
Sound Bite Fiction 
A humorous slant on today’s somewhat confusing changes, which in general leave me ‘sitting in the fence’ in a befuddled state. The books though, I do agree, we should celebrate the times they were written and open our children’s minds to change. Loved your writing.
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oh, man!
I’ll pay money for the right (or rite) to use your line: “But I digress, mainly so I can pretend that this rant has anything to do with Doug’s prompt…”
Better quote me the volume-discount on that licence.
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Laughing here, Clark.
To a friend, there is never a charge.
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Hahahaha this is brilliantly sarcasticly taking an obvious stand. I love it!
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Thanks, Cassa, I’m very happy you enjoyed.
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Well, I could have easily written that first sentence myself!
There are new books now appearing in my grandchildren’s school libraries, books little kids definitely do not need to see.
I’ve been around the block more than a few times. I am no prude and there’s very little that shocks me. These books are shocking and a sad commentary of this so-called woke society we live in.
I prefer being blissfully unwoke. In fact, I think the world was much better off before being woke.
Where are all the sane people? Please excuse the rant; this is a sore spot with me.
PS – Pretty Boy Floyd – very funny!
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I kinda guessed you’d be a real and unwoke person, Nancy.
I get depressed at books being censored or withdrawn, we need to understand the background, not pretend it didn’t happen.
I do try to wrap any serious message in a fun piece, so I’m glad you got a laugh.
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Thank you, C.E. It breaks my heart to see the classic books being removed from libraries, well-loved movies and songs being banned, statues torn down and portraits defaced. This is not the place to mention the names of the new books being introduced to children; they are unnecessary and confusing for little kids to see and read about. I would be embarrassed to write the titles here. I truly do not understand what has happened to the moral fiber of our society.
Basta! Enough of that.
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I said run with it but that’s more of a case of galloping politically incorrect sleepwalking. Made me laugh (except for the dark side poem bit). Somehow reminded me of this classic. https://youtu.be/pj0_Ps5c08I
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I’ll gladly take politically incorrect over this woke BS any time. We are on the road to perdition, my friend.
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Well, Doug, I’m a Scot, you’re an Aussie, wokeness and PC are alien concepts to us.
I confess to having lost an hour or two following Two Ronnies links!
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Time well spent. 🙂
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Now that’s funny.
I love your ‘rants’ when you play joyously with words.
And poke fun at what preoccupies the media in our ‘first world’ countries so that we can dare to laugh again.
(A wee touch of the rhyming slang in your title perhaps?)
PS Fabulous dark poem.
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You know that, privately, I’m not the PCest guy around, more of the spade blank-blank shovel philosophy, so I get cheesed off with the current vogue that wobbles from Orwellian to cretinous.
But, yes, this was fun, as was the title!
Re the poem, I love when people read my words and translate them into something else entirely.
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