Scooshy – Six Sentence Story

scooshy thingy by c e ayr

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – ISLAND

Click here to hear the author read his words:

Scooshy

I love my dentist for 3 reasons, viz., she is young (sub-octogenarian), she is pretty (sub-octogenarian and female), and she does not hurt me (yeah, yeah, I’m supposed to be all macho and stuff but I’ve always found pain to be vastly overrated).
On the debit side, although she provides me with an oasis of calm, an island of tranquility, and a security of being, in what could be an otherwise fraught situation, she practises in Dumbarton, a town significantly lacking in charm despite its possession of a castle on an elephant-shaped rock and its situation on the River Leven where it finishes its short trip from Loch Lomond by pouring itself heart and sole (geddit!) into the mighty Clyde.
Worse than that, Dumbarton is roughly 1,250 miles (that’s 2,000 kilometres to those of you who speak foreign) from where I live on the sun-soaked Côte d’Azur, so, with the best will in the world, not what anyone with half a brain could describe as handy.
Anyway, as I hurtle courageously if belatedly towards the point of this saga, on my recent visit to the aforementioned tooth-tugger, she remarked that I should invest in what she called a water scoosher flosser thingy, which prompted from me the response of ‘unngghhhang’, given that my mouth was, at the time, pretty much filled with large pieces of jaggy metal dentisty things and a couple of her hands.
But, on my return chez moi, I did in fact purchase such a device, or a fair facsimile thereof, and proceeded with my normal casual disregard for the instruction leaflet in more languages than I knew existed (I’m a man, crivvens, I don’t need to read the wee book, all Scots are engineers, that’s a rule) with predictable outcome.
I’m not sure if my teeth have benefitted in any way from this marvel of modern technological whizzery, but I have to tell you that never before have I so frequently and thoroughly cleansed my face, my hair and my bathroom mirror and walls.

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34 Responses to Scooshy – Six Sentence Story

  1. Johnny Woods says:

    Several years ago my brother-in-law, who coincidentally lived in France at the time, sent us scooshy things for Christmas. Taken aback, and not a little scared, we put them in the loft. Are they worth a bit now? My canny Scottish wife is getting excited .

    Like

  2. A masterpiece of wit and insight, CE. A delight to read. And of course all Scotsmen are engineers; who else could have invented the deep-fried Mars Bar, thus necessitating the invention of the water-powered weapon you have acquired. Long may you stretch your sentences to infinity.

    Like

  3. This was a lot of fun from beginning to end! And how wonderful that the gizmo does so much more than scoosh your teeth.

    Like

  4. clark says:

    “Instructions?! We don’t need no steenkin instructions!” Even without the engineering training, none of us are allow to venture from Y Chromia without pledging to “Plug it in, turn it on, the rest will be revealed”
    Dentists!! ayiiee sure there is a picture of an operatory in the dictionary next to the entry: Approach/Avoidance conflict.

    lol

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  5. Lol, excellent tale, and as soon as I saw the image of that thing I knew there was going to be trouble 😂😁 Nice to hear a shout-out for our lovely Côte d’Azur, merci! Sans les moustiques tigre… it’s really the best.
    Also, I think the Daleks had it all wrong with their plunger attachment thingy, what they really needed was a scooshy 😁

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  6. Back this morning C.E as my comment last evening disappeared as my mouse hovered eagerly over “Post Comment”.
    This morning’s listen/read brought the same chuckle! Sorry to say I couldn’t help but zoom in on the men not reading instructions segment, lol. Can’t tell you how many times in my I’ve heard a man lament “how difficult can it be?”. Enough said, eh? 😄
    Good to read you had to Six again!

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    • ceayr says:

      But seriously, Denise, how difficult can it be?
      I mean, it’s only a wodjacallit thingumajig whatsit doodah, and they all work in pretty much the same way, don’t they?
      I was in Scotland for August, and I’ve been working on a magnum opus (well, a not-so-wee opus, anyway).
      Thanks for the welcome back.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Frank Hubeny says:

    I usually skip the instruction booklet as well figuring trial and error is faster and less likely to lead to misunderstanding of what is possible. And I agree that pain is vastly overrated. Nice tale of going to the dentist.

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  8. Most amusing sir! Instructions really are unnecessary. Just think of all the trees that are felled to make the paper they’re printed on before they end up in the bin. Congrats on being this week’s Sentencathon winner!

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  9. UP says:

    love the details in this story…good job.

    Like

  10. A good comic, surprises us. A GREAT comic routine, points out things we already know.
    This was GREAT. Men not reading directions, and expanding tool usage in bizarre ways, is clearly close to Natural Law. LOL

    Like

  11. Those gadgets do take a bit of getting used to, even for engineers.

    Like

  12. Chris Hall says:

    Fabulous, C.E., a great giggle, which of course will reveal lovely shiny pearly-whites following the use of such a ‘contraption’. (I really did wonder what it was when I saw the pic) 🤣

    Like

  13. Lindsey says:

    Love this – particularly the details of the dentist visit. Made me laugh a lot. Good luck with the water scoosher thingy! T

    Like

  14. jenne49 says:

    Now that made me laugh!
    Geographical information, technical dentisty information, and a vocabulary lesson forby!
    A truly delightful medley of words and ideas. that makes it practically impossible not to want a water scoosher flosser thingy of one’s own.
    Brilliant

    Liked by 2 people

  15. trishsplace says:

    Hilarious! I love that app Scots are engineers. 😃 Great story.
    I’ve read a few people’s versions of 6 sentences – and I have to say I’m suspicious of how the rule is pushed by such long sentences😇
    I’m a short sentence girl myself, so I keep being surprised by how long these 6 sentence stories are!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      I am somewhat perturbed, Trish, that you laughed at the only bit that wasn’t a joke!
      All Scots are engineers, this a well-known fact – heck, even in Star Trek they knew that!
      As for the sentences, I admit I bent the rules a bit this time, humble ajolopies for that.
      But after years of FF I just like to show that I can actually make sentences longer than 4 words!

      Liked by 1 person

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