The Punch, Explained – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is
apparently supplied by Secret Squirrel.
My story can be read, if you choose, as a prequel to last week’s story, which was, in turn, a prequel to the previous week.

© Unknown

Click here to hear the author read his words:

The Punch, Explained

Guess who?
The plate slips from my fingers.
She looks older, exhausted.
She is wearing a man’s coat and work-boots.
I need clothes and money, she says, heading for our bedroom.
The coat falls, and she is naked.
She is small, skinny now, brutally bruised.
They let you go?
She scowls scornfully.
Did you hurt anyone?
Only when deserved…

She dresses quickly, dark, practical clothes.
Quaking with fear, I give her all the money I have.
She punches me in the mouth, hard.
Payback, she says, or an alibi.
I-I didn’t …
But she is gone.
Back to the Resistance.

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47 Responses to The Punch, Explained – Friday Fictioneers

  1. James McEwan says:

    Tough times and a tough woman. I expect the man who lost his coat and boots will be bleeding to death in some dark dungeon.
    Lots of brutal emotion here.

    Like

  2. Definitely painted a picture for me. All that in 100 words. Wow, loved it! Have you seen the viral video of the cashier who punched and knocked out a man in Russia for bullying another man?

    Like

  3. draliman says:

    I could see that happening as I read. Nicely described!

    Like

  4. Liz Young says:

    Gosh, that was a stunner, and in so few words!

    Like

  5. Mike says:

    You painted a fine story, I enjoyed reading this.

    Like

  6. trishsplace says:

    A moment caught so completely. Excellent. And I listened to your recording for the first time. Nice voice!

    Like

  7. A powerful scene well described and impactful dialogue. Brilliant writing!

    Like

  8. Gabriella says:

    Powerful story with great atmosphere. It makes me wonder whether the Resistance is something you want to join or avoid.

    Like

  9. Loved the sparse yet powerful way you told this. It really packed a punch (sorry couldn’t resist.)

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  10. Bill says:

    Imagery well said. A wonderful example of ‘show, don’t tell’ yet leaves room for a reader to imagine. Good one.

    Like

  11. Anita says:

    Literally delivered a punch!

    Like

  12. Tannille says:

    For a moment I thought it was going to be a sexy story. Ha. He really needs to grow balls and dump her. Great stuff.

    Like

  13. That is a powerful punch of a story. My kind of shero 🙂

    Like

  14. wmqcolby says:

    Really created a mini-world, CE. Nailed it. Bravo!

    Like

  15. Dear CE,

    I echo Sandra on this one. I felt like I was there. Well done, sir.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  16. Sandra says:

    Action packed, vivid imagery. So vivid I could have been there, but I’m rather glad I wasn’t. Well done.

    Like

  17. MrBinks says:

    Loads of intrigue. Again.

    Like

  18. Reena Saxena says:

    The end really had a punch packed in it.

    Like

  19. Iain Kelly says:

    Great character, my kind of hero. The Resistance is in good hands.

    Like

  20. neilmacdon says:

    She’s not Scots then. No head butt

    Like

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