Habakkuk – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by
Jan Wayne Fields.

© Jan Wayne Fields


Habakkuk

Hello, CE!
Hello, Arthur, haven’t seen you in years!
Yep, long time. This is my wife, Delilah.
Very biblical!
What? No, from the Tom Jones song, y’know, taa-raa-rararararaaa!
Oh. Right.
These are our kids, Elizabeth, Margaret, Mary, James, George, Charles, John and Habakkuk.
That’s an unusual name.
Which one?
Erm… He’s a big lad. So you decided to stop at just eight then?
To tell you the truth, CE, we planned to stop after three. We thought that was plenty!
But…?
Well, we didn’t stop because we didn’t realise.
You didn’t realise what?
We didn’t realise what was causing them.

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74 Responses to Habakkuk – Friday Fictioneers

  1. LOL! Well, some sex ed might come handy (the education part, seems they got the sex part down pat). As for the number … I’m one of seven. Girls. Yep. I think they knew what was ‘causing us’ but maybe not what was ‘causing’ us all to be girls … (I don’t think they ever found out, given that all they got was girls …) 😉

    Like

  2. Mike says:

    It’s a shame the cap did not fit, then again perhaps not, as it allowed me to smile at the conversation

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  3. Varad says:

    Should’ve learnt about those other caps before. This was a riot, CE. Thanks for the laughs.

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  4. Russell says:

    So, I’m assuming they got “the talk” a little late in life!

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  5. James McEwan says:

    If only Arthur could work out where his wife was all day or is she the victim of a repetitive immaculate conception. In Arthur’s case there must not be much beneath his bible belt.
    I enjoyed this and it made me gasp -really!

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  6. I am glad they finally realised after eight 🙂

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  7. Natasha says:

    Thanks for the laughs C.E.

    Arthur is one mean machine, indeed! ha! ha!

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  8. Ha! I myself was wondering why so many. Thanks for going on the light side!

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  9. Enjoyed the humor, C.E.
    And I’m thrilled that no hats were beat up as a result of this story–except possibly a Tom Jones hat.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. draliman says:

    At least they cottoned on after eight 🙂

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  11. My my my Habakkuk…. You made me laugh!

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  12. Sandra says:

    Well now he’s got the hang of it, maybe his wife can look forward to a bit of a rest.

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  13. Very amusing, it reminded me of the perhaps apocryphal story of some agency teaching a remote African village how to use condoms by demonstrating with a banana. When they returned some months later the pregnancy rate and infection rate hadn’t chnaged. When questiooned, all the men said they’d been following the instructions to the letter, every time before making love they’d put a condom on a banana.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. wmqcolby says:

    Hilarious! Especially the Tom Jones part.

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  15. trishsplace says:

    Laughed out loud!

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  16. plaridel says:

    i suppose ignorance is bliss. 🙂

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  17. Thanks for making me smile 🙂

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  18. Nobbinmaug says:

    Diagnosis is the first step to a cure. That was fun. I love absurdist humor.

    This reminds me of an old joke of mine. It was a play on “fixing” our animals. In case that’s an Americanism, it’s a euphemism for spaying. “There was something wrong with her. She just kept popping out babies. Now, she’s fixed. All better.”

    Like

  19. granonine says:

    Oh, so funny! I didn’t get where you going until right at the end. “We didn’t know. . . Hilarious!

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  20. Mandibelle16 says:

    Lol. Funny CE. Hope you’re well 🙂

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  21. A very amusing story. The last line is great, but I think “Which one?” is the funniest.

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  22. Rowena says:

    Wow! I loved this CE. So funny. Do you think it’s people like this who become politicians? Some times, I wonder, although our Australian leaders are doing a remarkable job.
    Hope you’re keeping well.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Like

  23. Dale says:

    Well now, that caused a right out-loud laugh! Such a fun one, CE!

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  24. Couldn’t stop laughing at your bonkers story, CE. Thank you!

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  25. Dear CE,

    Personally, I think Arthur’s making excuses for being a randy kind a guy. 😉 Wonder what a good nickname for Habakkuk would be? Hab? Kuk? Your story made me smile. (What? No recording?)

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      In a former life I read the works of a Glasgow author called J J Bell, which included a story about which I remember nothing except that it was called Habakkuk. I have always wanted to use it in a tale of my own.
      Sorry about no reading, m’lady, the voice still comes and goes.
      I’ll never sing Nessun Dorma again!

      Like

  26. Lynn Love says:

    Well, at least Arthur’s been keeping himself busy! Told with your usual twinkle, C. You made me smile, as you so often do. Hope you’re keeping well

    Like

  27. Ha ha, my wife and I had 7 kids, but I don’t have this excuse.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Tannille says:

    This is a case of a little education goes a long way… A raincoat a go with the hat perhaps 😀.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Iain Kelly says:

    Entertaining conversation. Poor Arthur, all they children to cope with… someone should’ve told them sooner.

    Like

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