Queue – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below, which this week is supplied by
Na’ama Yehuda.

© Na’ama Yehuda

Click here to hear the writer read his words:


I am confused.
Okay, I’m not used to being dead, and I never claimed to be smart.
But still.
I’m in this queue, under a leaky umbrella, water running down my neck.
Up ahead are happy folk in summer clothes.
Behind are pretty girls, frolicking in bikinis.
Way up front there is a guy asking questions.
Then he points.
Through one door I see people dancing upwards, towards sunshine and music.
Behind the other door is darkness, and an air of infinite desperation.
I think back over my life, shake my head.
I really shouldn’t be confused.
My feet are soaking.

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65 Responses to Queue – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Nobbinmaug says:

    It’s a joke on where that door might lead. Hell? Hades? The Underworld? Florida? I’ve never been, but I’ve heard bad things.

    It’s nice that we live in an epoch where we can question the religious establishment and hypothesize for ourselves, either serious pondering or in jest, without being arrested or tortured into repentance.


  2. Nobbinmaug says:

    If he’s going where you seem to imply, he should be dry soon. Florida’s warm, even this time of year.

    This is an excellent take. It’s interesting to think of one line that leads to opposite extremes, and your protagonist watches as others get a happy ending while assuredly awaiting his unhappy fate. It adds to his torment along with the rain.


    • ceayr says:

      Not sure how Florida got in here!
      We all have our own views of what might happen, I think, and in the absence of any core belief I feel free to generate a new approach each time.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Natasha says:

    Ah! Nicely done. Quite a wonderful spin to the prompt.

    Existential crisis, eh?

    Glad to have stopped by.
    Have a wonderful weekend!


    P.S: I like the soundbite. Makes it so very real.



  4. James McEwan says:

    I am pleased there is a choice (I hope) on the final exit. I felt the confusion here, as if he couldn’t decide; was he good or bad?


  5. Esha says:

    Existential crisis! I am not sure I’d like to ponder on that question or stand in that queue with my feet soaking wet! Well done! Loved it.



  6. He’s not dead for the mere fact that he realizes that his feet are soaking. That can’t be allowed now, can it?!


  7. Great take on this photo.


  8. bearmkwa says:

    Great perspective with this one. 🙂


  9. I’m a rebel. I think I would be stepping out of that line.


  10. Abhijit Ray says:

    You are not dead, not happy, not smart! There is some problem there. It seems everyone is enjoying except you.


  11. Something tells me that he’s not going through the door with the dancing people.


  12. granonine says:

    Oh dear. Not a good reason to be standing in line, is it? Well written 🙂


  13. Oh dear, well at least the feet willl be cooler for a second longer if he goes to hell. Nice stuff.


  14. trishsplace says:

    Excellent. Existential, muddled with reality.


  15. Tessa says:

    What a great take on the prompt LOL!


  16. Might be sensible to utter a quick prayer or something. Never know, it might help!


  17. Mike says:

    I enjoyed where you took this tale of woe, wet feet included.


  18. Well, no one said it won’t rain there, eh? 😉


  19. Iain Kelly says:

    I know which door I would take, if we get a choice that is.


  20. Tannille says:

    Haha what the hell? Jk. I enjoyed the protagonist’s confusion.


  21. draliman says:

    Alive or dead, you’re still gonna get rained on… nice one!


  22. I’m glad I didn’t read this before I posted my story. There was me thinking I had found a unique take on that queue. Very imaginative, sir! 🙂 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos


  23. Joe Owens says:

    Yes I can imagine being dead would feel pretty surreal!


  24. Colline says:

    Not how I imagined the pearly gates to be 😀


  25. Dear CE,

    Somber theme mixed with humor. Beetlejuice. Nice.




  26. Reena Saxena says:

    So it’s raining up there? Our mythology says it is auspicious to die in the rain. The heavens are set to welcome you.


  27. neilmacdon says:

    I liked “I’m not used to being dead”


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