Queue – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below, which this week is supplied by
Na’ama Yehuda.

© Na’ama Yehuda

Click here to hear the writer read his words:

Queue

I am confused.
Okay, I’m not used to being dead, and I never claimed to be smart.
But still.
I’m in this queue, under a leaky umbrella, water running down my neck.
Up ahead are happy folk in summer clothes.
Behind are pretty girls, frolicking in bikinis.
Way up front there is a guy asking questions.
Then he points.
Through one door I see people dancing upwards, towards sunshine and music.
Behind the other door is darkness, and an air of infinite desperation.
I think back over my life, shake my head.
I really shouldn’t be confused.
My feet are soaking.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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65 Responses to Queue – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Nobbinmaug says:

    It’s a joke on where that door might lead. Hell? Hades? The Underworld? Florida? I’ve never been, but I’ve heard bad things.

    It’s nice that we live in an epoch where we can question the religious establishment and hypothesize for ourselves, either serious pondering or in jest, without being arrested or tortured into repentance.

    Like

  2. Nobbinmaug says:

    If he’s going where you seem to imply, he should be dry soon. Florida’s warm, even this time of year.

    This is an excellent take. It’s interesting to think of one line that leads to opposite extremes, and your protagonist watches as others get a happy ending while assuredly awaiting his unhappy fate. It adds to his torment along with the rain.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Laughing.
      Not sure how Florida got in here!
      We all have our own views of what might happen, I think, and in the absence of any core belief I feel free to generate a new approach each time.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Natasha says:

    Ah! Nicely done. Quite a wonderful spin to the prompt.

    Existential crisis, eh?

    Glad to have stopped by.
    Have a wonderful weekend!

    Natasha

    P.S: I like the soundbite. Makes it so very real.

    https://natashamusing.com/2019/09/the-show-must-go-on-friday-fictioneers-natasha-musing/

    Like

  4. James McEwan says:

    I am pleased there is a choice (I hope) on the final exit. I felt the confusion here, as if he couldn’t decide; was he good or bad?

    Like

  5. Esha says:

    Existential crisis! I am not sure I’d like to ponder on that question or stand in that queue with my feet soaking wet! Well done! Loved it.

    Cheers
    Esha

    Like

  6. He’s not dead for the mere fact that he realizes that his feet are soaking. That can’t be allowed now, can it?!

    Like

  7. Great take on this photo.

    Like

  8. bearmkwa says:

    Great perspective with this one. 🙂

    Like

  9. I’m a rebel. I think I would be stepping out of that line.

    Like

  10. Abhijit Ray says:

    You are not dead, not happy, not smart! There is some problem there. It seems everyone is enjoying except you.

    Like

  11. Something tells me that he’s not going through the door with the dancing people.

    Like

  12. granonine says:

    Oh dear. Not a good reason to be standing in line, is it? Well written 🙂

    Like

  13. Oh dear, well at least the feet willl be cooler for a second longer if he goes to hell. Nice stuff.

    Like

  14. trishsplace says:

    Excellent. Existential, muddled with reality.

    Like

  15. Tessa says:

    What a great take on the prompt LOL!

    Like

  16. Might be sensible to utter a quick prayer or something. Never know, it might help!

    Like

  17. Mike says:

    I enjoyed where you took this tale of woe, wet feet included.

    Like

  18. Well, no one said it won’t rain there, eh? 😉

    Like

  19. Iain Kelly says:

    I know which door I would take, if we get a choice that is.

    Like

  20. Tannille says:

    Haha what the hell? Jk. I enjoyed the protagonist’s confusion.

    Like

  21. draliman says:

    Alive or dead, you’re still gonna get rained on… nice one!

    Like

  22. I’m glad I didn’t read this before I posted my story. There was me thinking I had found a unique take on that queue. Very imaginative, sir! 🙂 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  23. Joe Owens says:

    Yes I can imagine being dead would feel pretty surreal!

    Like

  24. Colline says:

    Not how I imagined the pearly gates to be 😀

    Like

  25. Dear CE,

    Somber theme mixed with humor. Beetlejuice. Nice.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  26. Reena Saxena says:

    So it’s raining up there? Our mythology says it is auspicious to die in the rain. The heavens are set to welcome you.

    Like

  27. neilmacdon says:

    I liked “I’m not used to being dead”

    Like

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