Forgiveness – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
And this week she uses her own photo to inspire our creativity.
My story can be read as a sequel to last week’s or, if your memory is as flaky as mine, just as is.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click here to hear the writer read his words:

Forgiveness

The blinds are open.
The flowers that I sent are on the window-sill.
She stands beside them, waves up to me.
It seems she understands my adoration, and forgives my earlier dubious behaviour.
I raise my binoculars, focus on her.
With a radiant smile she throws her arms wide and starts to dance.
I am enchanted as her short dress swirls around her thighs.
At first I ignore the doorbell, but it is persistent.
I hurry to answer, unwilling to miss a second of her performance.
He is huge.
And quite violent.
My binoculars were never designed to fit there.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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80 Responses to Forgiveness – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Lynn Love says:

    Ah, the stalked gets her revenge! And what a painful revenge it is! Love her captivating dance, her distracting him as his fate comes to the door. And a devilish last line, C. Brilliant

    Like

  2. Ha… I imagine it will be hard to sit down after this.

    Like

  3. That’s a hilarious – and eyewatering – last line!

    Like

  4. gahlearner says:

    Last week’s story made me chuckle, this week’s makes me laugh out loud. Wonderful.

    Like

  5. Oh oh … The image you’ve left us with is … well … not designed to fit inside my mind … 😉

    Like

  6. StuHN says:

    Never screw around when there’s a BIG boyfriend/husband around. Nope.

    Like

  7. LucciaGray says:

    I really enjoyed reading. It’s humorous and chilling at the same time. I loved the final twist. He won’t be using them again in a hurry!

    Like

  8. Rowena says:

    I wonder how he’s going to explain the binoculars at the Emergency Department. Mind you, they’ve no doubt seen it all.
    I’ve occasionally wondered about the people who could be watching us but we have no idea and carry on our business totally oblivious. I know quite a few people who have connected with exboy or girlfriends from years ago although they’re quite happily married, but I could see one of them could easily evolve into a stalker and you might have no idea whatsoever.
    Creepy!
    Beautifully written and rather clever with a touch of humour in a macabre sort of way.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Like

  9. A peeping Tom, I think, and her partner coming to shove them where the sun don’t shine, its like Rear Window all over!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. James McEwan says:

    The humour is brilliant, the result quite painful.

    Like

  11. Violet Lentz says:

    Very tight ending CE…

    Like

  12. Hilarious! It puts a whole new twist on the old line, “Up your nose with a rubber hose.”

    Like

  13. Thank goodness it wasn’t a telescope!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. draliman says:

    Haha, creepy changes to hilarity! Well, not for him 🙂

    Like

  15. Anita says:

    End of love-story… Hope he survives 🙂
    Smart one.

    Like

  16. Abhijit Ray says:

    She sent her husband / boyfriend to get you. Yes binoculars are not meant for that place.

    Like

  17. Ouch! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Like

  18. lisarey1990 says:

    Great follow-up piece. Super last line!

    Like

  19. Brilliant last line.:)

    Like

  20. 4963andypop says:

    What a fitting ending to a character we love to hate.

    Like

  21. The story took a much different turn than I imagined it would! Love it, and like so many others, still laughing.

    Like

  22. The last line made me laugh out loud. Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Indira says:

    Hard luck. A great funny twist though I was fooled in the beginning. Lovely writing skill.

    Like

  24. Gouy Corine says:

    Plutôt la suite ! J’adore,
    Je suis comme dans une comédie italienne.
    Très drôle ❤

    Like

  25. granonine says:

    Laughing at the mental picture you created for me 🙂 Good one!

    Like

  26. Jelli says:

    Wonderful sequel… enjoyed it! 🙂

    Like

  27. Iain Kelly says:

    Haha, a swift and painful retribution!

    Like

  28. Hahahaha!!! XD
    This was really funny! 😀

    Like

  29. pennygadd51 says:

    Teehee! The sun don’t shine there, that’s for sure!

    Like

  30. Dear CE,

    Oh that last line made me laugh out loud. Subtle but effective.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  31. Tannille says:

    Enjoyed the poetic quality!

    Like

  32. Yes, that line had been in splits. Good writing Ceayr.

    Like

  33. Sandra says:

    Another lap-top redecoration moment there… and I’ve only recently cleaned it. Bravo!

    Like

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