Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s sunny panorama by Jan Wayne Fields took me to my usual dark place.
Or did it?
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Jan Wayne Fields
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Genocide
The bullet crashes into my chest.
I reel backwards, collapse.
I know it has smashed through my ribs, and that my blood is pumping out.
I hear the war cries of the attackers and the women screaming as our men die.
I know all is lost.
Our homes, our values, our way of life, gone forever.
A quiet descends.
I worry about my wife, wonder if she escaped to the hills.
Then I hear her voice.
She is standing over me, holding out her hand.
She smiles, helps me to my feet.
I am surprised that I feel no pain.
That was beautiful.
True love prevails.
excellent story-telling as other have already noted. Well paced and sensitively handled. The sadness and tragedy fill every word
This was really well written. I love how you reveal his wife’s death with thoughts about his own lack of pain. And wonderful that they crossed over together.
I enjoyed your story, it was very well-written. So much loss. At least he crossed over with his wife by his side.
Happily they’re together in peace after a traumatic and violent end
Reminded me of the wild west cowboy films. A sad but fitting ending.
Very touching story – and enjoyable – Thanks for the entertainment! Nan
Sad but wonderful ending. All the parts of the story are gorgeously crafted.
Sad, sad, story, but I am glad they are united in the end.
A terrifying story… Crazy Horse saying:
It’s a good day to day…
comes to mind
Nice ending. Glad they are united.
https://trailbrooklane.blogspot.in/2018/04/the-overview.html
Sad story but the end is beautiful. Moving.
So many thoughts are racing through my mind right now I will only fill this little box with one. Very nicely done. OK, two thoughts. Thanks for the happy ending.
Oh wow! This is great! I really like the ending! Sad, but at least they are back together!
-AshleyDannie-
Great ending. My cynical mind half expected him to learn he’d just been shot by his wife. I’m not sure how you managed to pull a happy ending out of them dying, but you did. Well done.
I was going that route too.
i love the ending which i can picture in my mind. well done.
Loved this story – loved that they were reunited and no longer in pain.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
I hope after all that they can find peace together in the ever-after.
Finally there is some peace for him and his wife.
What a harsh reality – war is, along with its petty siblings like genocide and mass massacre.
Painful yet told beautifully, Ceayr.
Beautiful ending – vividly written piece.
Fantastic tale with a stunning ending. Loved it.
Thank you, sir, very happy you enjoyed it so much
You hit hard with that first line and took us from violence to peace – I hope it is truly like that when we go and nice to go together even if you don’t know it at the time.
Happy you enjoyed it, Irene
Wow! Poetic and spiritual!
Thank you, Joy
C’est pour l’éternité maintenant , j’espère qu’il aimait sa femme sinon cela va être l’enfer !
Aucun problème, c’est sûr que l’enfer est pleine des notaires!
A world without bloodshed would be paradise.
Indeed, Mike, we can but dream
Love does heal all wounds. I expect he will make a speedy recovery with her by his side.
Thank you for visiting
Poor gal. Whatever happened to “until death do us part.” Now she has to take care of you for eternity? What a bummer.
My sympathies are with Connie here, Russell!
I can think of much worse things to imagine as you die than your loved one. Beautifully done, C
Thank you, Lynn, much appreciated.
My pleasure C
It was, of course, the wife who was up and about first, helping her husband to adjust to life in the afterlife…
Laughing.
This is a gender-neutral blog, Penny!
A beautiful ending. Our minds were on the same lake today, different boats 🙂
Happy you enjoyed this as much as I did yours.
Indeed 🙂
I can only hope death is really like that
Indeed, Neil, we can but hope.
Quite an apt story for today. It’s ANZAC Day here in Australia where we honour particularly our fallen service people but also those who made it through.
It had a beautiful ambiance to the story.
Best wishes,
Rowena
I remember being deeply moved by the Australian War Memorial in Canberra, and seeing my quite unusual family name among the fallen.
Thank you, Rowena.
Bittersweet tale, C.E.
Shalom,
Rochelle
We live in a bittersweet world, m’lady
A vivid description, perhaps they are better off moving on to a place without the pain.
If only, Iain, if only…
Glad they got united again.
Hope they live happily ever after in a peaceful land that’s far from war and hatred and merciless killing and pain…
Lovely story.
Thank you, Anita, glad you enjoyed
Oh, they are in a different place to be sure.
To be sure, James