The Shack – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
For this week’s prompt
she has selected a photo provided by Sandra Crook, my personal favourite of all the FF writers.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© Sandra Crook

Click here to hear the author read this one-minute story:

The Shack

It feels warm and safe in here.
It has been a long day, ten hours of hiking through this rugged wilderness.
We do it for fun, but sometimes I think we are too city soft now.
This little shack was not our planned destination when we set off this morning, in high spirits.
Circumstances have changed.
I guess you might say we had an eventful time.
I am exhausted, physically and emotionally drained, by what we have been through.
Darkness is falling.
I think about the night ahead, and tremble.
And I think about my seven companions, already dead.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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73 Responses to The Shack – Friday Fictioneers

  1. thecarfactor says:

    Great post. Do check out my website, http://www.thecarfactor.com , where I write about cars and technology in them. Feel free to follow if you like my content. Cheers mate . Keep the content rolling.

    Like

  2. Ouch, that last sentence packs a punch. As others said, it opens up so many questions, and I’m not sure we want to know all the answers! Great writing CE

    Like

  3. mrgoodquote says:

    I m amazed 🙈…. Ur blog is really good
    See some of my blog work as well hope you will like them 😇

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was a great finish but more wanted now.

    Like

  5. subroto says:

    Seven dead? This is what happens when Snow White goes bad.

    Like

  6. This makes me think about all of those stories that are left aloft, where people say, we’re here and there’s evil.
    Well done.

    Like

  7. mandibelle16 says:

    Well on horror movies I mean lol.
    Like Nev Campbell’s character on the Scream movies or the actress on the Halloween movies (the first couple) Jamie Lee Curtis. Or even that lady in Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” she was pecked a lot but she lived.

    Like

  8. Joy Pixley says:

    Definitely not the kind of “eventful time” I would have been hoping for! But the, maybe the narrator was behind it all along.

    Like

  9. mjlstories says:

    Goodness! Didn’t dare listen. Might save it for the night of October 31st then listen at midnight to your audio.

    Like

  10. Hearing it read was rather spine-tingling. Thanks for the added substance.
    Scott
    Mine: https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/10/19/from-tree-to-shining-tree-friday-fictioneers/

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Lynn Love says:

    I was going to say the same as Iain – you must answer some of those questions! And please don’t tell me this is a scout hut and they’re on their annual jamboree … Lovely set up and a great sock between the yes at the end

    Like

  12. rgayer55 says:

    Note to self: decline any hiking invitations from CE.

    Like

  13. A kind of diary entry narration, leading to a wonderful denouement. Nice one.

    Like

  14. JS Brand says:

    We’ll told CE, although I’m not sure I know what’s happened or whether I’m supposed to. Like Sandra, though, I’m inclined to suspect the narrator isn’t entirely innocent. I can’t help thinking there’s a hint of disappointment that they’re ALREADY dead – has this brought the fun to an end prematurely?

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Gosh, you guys are so cynical.
      I don’t expect any better from Sandra, but you, sir…

      Like

      • JS Brand says:

        I might have misjudged you, but on a continuum from whimsical to wicked, I reckon it’s fair say your main characters are usually closer to one end than the other. And long may that continue. You do a very good job of whimsical, cuddly, heart-rending and everything else though.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. MMMmmm. He will not sleep well.

    Like

  16. Me thinks about the old movie “Deliverance”… I’m sure that I heard a Banjo somewhere.

    Like

  17. pennygadd51 says:

    You’ve constructed this carefully, starting gently, and becoming steadily darker until the final word “Dead”. Do you feel that perhaps a little more detail about the friends would have given their deaths more impact? We would have felt more empathy with them, perhaps.

    Like

  18. Varad says:

    It was just like peeling an onion. You didn’t give an inkling of the end with your MC talking about hiking for fun and being city soft, but kept adding a small bit of new information each line building to that explosive conclusion. Good one, CE.

    Like

  19. Sandra says:

    Now their deaths could have absolutely nothing to do with the narrator. But it’s you, isn’t it? And you’ve got history in this kind of thing. So no… I don’t want to go for a walk with you. Even favourites can get disposed of when the mood takes you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Wow, that is definitely the start of something scary. Really great.

    Like

  21. mandibelle16 says:

    Ug, sounds like a creepy serial killer lived in this shack or was out and about killing these people in the wild. Great write, especially with Halloween so near. It doesn’t sound like a good end is coming for the narrator. But one person always survives right? Or one couple at least?
    Hugs CE

    Like

  22. neilmacdon says:

    I’m going for a walk, I may be some time, Nice one

    Like

  23. An eventful time? A bit of an understatement! Nice one CE.

    Click to read my FriFic!

    Like

  24. James says:

    Well that escalated quickly. Good job.

    Like

  25. granonine says:

    Yikes! I’m terrified, and we’ll never know what happened!

    Like

  26. Dear C.E.

    I think I hear Dueling Banjos being played in the background. You took us from happy and warm, to terrified and shivering in a hundred words. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  27. Moon says:

    Chilling !
    Sad for his friends but I hope he is indeed safe and that the worst is over .

    Like

  28. michael1148humphris says:

    So many possibilities in this story, but in my take, I have sent for a Mountie

    Like

  29. Iain Kelly says:

    So many questions – did they kill their friends? Is there someone killing them off out in the woods? Great drama.

    Like

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