Murder – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s photo by Ms Dalectable herself is unsurprising in its content, she being an acknowledged cibophile and oenophile, but it is delightfully open to a multitude of interpretations.
I thought I’d kill someone, just for a change.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

© Dale Rogerson

Click here to hear this 1 minute story read by the author:
Murder

In flagrante delicto.
I love that expression, it is so elegant for something that can be quite sordid.
And this was sordid.
My wife and my oldest friend.
Both of whom I trusted implicitly.
So yes, I killed them.
I was angry.
No, enraged is a better word.
Not because they succumbed to temptations of the flesh.
These things happen.
They were both young, attractive and energetic.
So it is understandable, perhaps even forgiveable.
But there needs to be some sort of decorum, surely, some self-control, to show we are civilised.
I mean, they didn’t even finish the pizza first.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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35 Responses to Murder – Friday Fictioneers

  1. ha ha! loved the last line. Sounds like finishing the pizza might have at least made their infidelity somewhat tolerable, or their passion was so great (they left the pizza) and that gets to your character. I always enjoy your humorous posts.

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  2. yuhublogger says:

    Love the way the killer explains himself. A brilliant take on the prompt!

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  3. Wonderful story! Nothing like killing someone for getting a story going.

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  4. Yes, letting all that cheese go to waste is a crime, punishable by…oh, wait, yikes.

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  5. Excellent story as always CE. To have an affair is one thing, to not have standards is quite another!

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  6. This is one of my favorites of yours. Wonderfully paced, sardonic and clever; I hung on every word. And your reading, worries me… doesn’t sound like fiction. 😉

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  7. This made me laugh 🙂 Definitely a psychopath, if he thinks that leaving pizza is worse than his woman straying with his best friend! I’m guessing that he was one of those men who put food first. Hope he enjoys the food in jail!

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  8. writelindy says:

    Fantastic crime fiction in 100 words. Great take on the prompt.

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  9. Mike says:

    This made me smile .

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  10. ah, your wry humor is marvelously sharp as always! I did think the pizza looked a bit messy there on the table….

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  11. LucciaGray says:

    A murderer with a sense of humour, or just too fond of pizza???! Great last line 🙂

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  12. Is it wrong that I laughed at the last line? Maybe his attitude explains her straying? Love it.

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  13. goroyboy says:

    Talk about Lactose intolerant! 🙂 well done!

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  14. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Love all the rationalization. This made me smile.

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  15. Rowena says:

    I shouldn’t be admitting to liking this, especially on the eve of Good Friday and perhaps we all should’ve given up murders for lent. However, I did enjoy it and thought it was probably my favorite one of yours to date. I loved the last line.
    I have spent the last two days researching: Jail Journal by Irish exile in Tasmania, John Mitchel. There was a lot of discussion about what it meant to be a gentleman…the code of conduct etc. Your man would fit in well.
    xx Rowena

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  16. The killer has his logic all good, albeit slightly lopsided. What a matter of fact manner of writing. Killer last line too.

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  17. rgayer55 says:

    Finally, a story where someone got killed. I was beginning to think FFF had gone soft. Now that they won’t be eating that pizza, please pass me a slice.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Michael Wynn says:

    I like his logic, but pizza can be stodgy in the stomach, not too good to eat much of it before physical exertion

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Dale says:

    Cibophile?
    As for the uneaten pizza… perhaps they were saving the rest of it for after their succumbing too said temptations of the flesh.. I mean, since they were young and energetic, they must have worked up quite the appetite, no?

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Leaving pizza behind is a crime! 🙂

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  21. James says:

    Obviously there are some things more seductive than pizza.

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  22. So very blase about it all, isn’t her?

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  23. mandibelle16 says:

    Interesting piece CE. He is right there has to be some sort of morals, some self-control but it’s ironic coming from someone who murdered them. It doesn’t seem he had ‘self-control’ either and it’s interesting h I bought murder or ‘revenge’ was of a higher moral order then an affair. His wife/best friend were definintly wrong, but that wrong? And yes, not finishing the pizza, I agree worse crime of all 😉 Hugs CE.

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  24. beautyswot says:

    guess the murderer has joined the uncivilised

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  25. Iain Kelly says:

    Quite right. Such a terrible waste… of pizza.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Your murder plot made me smile. The lust for the flesh was stronger than the appetite for pizza, they got what they deserved. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Leaving the pizza uneaten; definitely grounds for murder! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. jellico84 says:

    All because of unfinished pizza! I love it! Great story. 🙂 (laughter) ❤

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  29. michael1148humphris says:

    I will finish the pizza, I promise.🙂

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  30. neilmacdon says:

    Killer last line, as they say

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Dear CE,

    It seems that the wife and best friend found something tastier than the pizza. Nothing like a little murder on an early Wednesday morning. Love the matter of fact way the killer tells the story.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

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