Vampire (kind of) – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
Hey, that is even more appropriate with this week’s offering!
I have broken a promise to myself.
I confess I do not like vampire tales.
But this is dedicated to Rochelle, who sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
She will understand and, I hope, forgive.
The idea is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.

© Madison Woods

© Madison Woods


I hate being a vampire.
Yeah, I know, it looks dead glamorous in the movies, but there are lots of negatives.
I mean, I live in France, and now I can’t go near garlic.
Crosses are taboo, too.
And sunshine.
That really depresses me.
I live on the Côte d’Azur, for goodness sake.
Okay the cloak is pretty cool, all that swishing and swirling.
And the teeth are great.
But I can’t fly like a bat, that is just Hollywood rubbish.
And that is not the worst thing.
All that blood?
In my previous life I was a vegetarian.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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66 Responses to Vampire (kind of) – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Seems you were born in the wrong skin. With transing the current trend, perhaps you could become a cheerleader for a football club.


  2. asarpota says:

    A Vampire’s view point… Interesting take…. Rajesh


  3. Kalpana Solsi says:

    And I always felt the blood sucking vampires are powerful and reckless but this vampire in your post has frailties. And in his earlier life a vegetarian. I would love a serial on vampire. There is an element of fun in your writing.


  4. Fun and whimsical vampire story. How could an ominous photo prompt produce such a humorous write? Genious !!!! 😎


  5. Margaret says:

    Poor vampire. He’s not in a happy place. If he only drinks the blood of vegetarians, would that help I wonder? A wonderfully whimsical story.


  6. rgayer55 says:

    I have not yet written a vampire story, perhaps now I’m bitten. Surely, he’s tried some of the blood substitutes, made from beet & tomato juice. I hear they are healthier, but don’t have the same bite. Perhaps a dash of horseradish and splash of Worcestershire would cure that. Great story this week.


  7. I absolutely adore a vampire that hates blood! Love this piece! Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Love your story! (Hate vampires, too! And I’m a vegetarian, so I sympathize with your poor vampire!)


  9. mjlstories says:

    This certainly has a sound bite.
    And elephant is just jealous of that cape.


  10. Dear CE,

    When I saw your title I laughed out loud. The story only made it better. No garlic or sunshine?
    There’s an old saying that you can’t get blood out of a turnip. Pity for him that you can’t.😉 Delightful story…I’ll even forgive you for the vampire…as long as you don’t write a serial about him.



    PS I hope this is coherent.


    • ceayr says:

      Hi Rochelle
      Glad you are well enough to write.
      And just about coherent, yes!
      Just for you, I am planning a serial about a vampire with toothache.
      It will have long weekly intros (c. 350 words), post script explanations (no max.), and be my weekly submission to 14 different challenges.
      I look forward to your weekly visits and continued support.
      And, perhaps, you will be good enough to record your comments in a mock Scottish accent?
      Sweet dreams

      Liked by 3 people

  11. Lovely humour in your story.


  12. Now, this is one vampire story that I like! Excellent work.


  13. Yikes! I am a vegetarian and I believe in rebirth so I hope …. I will be born in Iceland🙂 Thanks for the laugh😀


  14. Dale says:

    Oh you make me laugh, sir! He truly must be in purgatory! Côte d’Azure? No Garlic? No Sunlight? No fun at all… Vegetarian vampire… shakes her head…


  15. Miles Rost says:

    Vampires in France…that would horrific in general. Well done on this week’s work!


  16. BobiJo says:

    Great story – I love your wit and warmth! Veggie Vampire, indeed! 😀


  17. This is a vampire story I can get into!


  18. I don’t care for vampire stories either, but this made me laugh. No garlic? Forever?? Horrors. Thanks for spinning this one.


  19. Sandra says:

    The first vampire of the week, and delivered with panache and wit. Nicely done.


    • ceayr says:

      Thank you, Sandra, I was concerned that the very title would put people off.
      I lay the blame for this firmly at the feet of our exalted leader.
      Or, as we say in Scotland, a big boy done it and ran away.

      Liked by 2 people

  20. Ha! This is very fun. The downside of living forever.


  21. Sightsnbytes says:

    Thanks for the early morning laugh. Loved this!


  22. ansumani says:

    LOL. A veggie Vampire. Nice!


  23. gahlearner says:

    This is brilliant. Poor, poor vampire. Maybe he should go visit the ‘Buffyverse’–there’s some fun for vampires there (the tv show Buffy the vampire killer, and the spin-off Angel. I’m not fond of movie vampires either, but ‘Buffy’ was really, really good. Good characters, plot, fun, nonsense, and vampires.)


  24. micklively says:

    “dead glamorous” – a deliberate pun?
    Good piece.


  25. A vampire who was a vegetarian in a previous life is obviously in some sort of purgatory.
    Now…go write your next story!😉


  26. niasunset says:

    Vegetarian… You are amazing, made me smile.. Thank you, love, nia


  27. Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
    AnElephantCant write about vampires
    That is one of his rules though unwritten
    He does not like the cloak
    Or the big puff of smoke
    And he is really afraid to get bitten

    Liked by 6 people

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