Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
Hey, that is even more appropriate with this week’s offering!
I have broken a promise to myself.
I confess I do not like vampire tales.
But this is dedicated to Rochelle, who sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
She will understand and, I hope, forgive.
The idea is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below.
© Madison Woods
Vampire
I hate being a vampire.
Yeah, I know, it looks dead glamorous in the movies, but there are lots of negatives.
I mean, I live in France, and now I can’t go near garlic.
Crosses are taboo, too.
And sunshine.
That really depresses me.
I live on the Côte d’Azur, for goodness sake.
Okay the cloak is pretty cool, all that swishing and swirling.
And the teeth are great.
But I can’t fly like a bat, that is just Hollywood rubbish.
And that is not the worst thing.
All that blood?
Yuk!
In my previous life I was a vegetarian.
Seems you were born in the wrong skin. With transing the current trend, perhaps you could become a cheerleader for a football club.
Sorry to say, Patrick, that I am completely baffled by this comment!
A Vampire’s view point… Interesting take…. Rajesh
Sometimes they get bad press
Fun! 🙂
Glad you enjoyed!
🙂 … me too!
And I should have said it is good to see you here, Georgia. I hope all is well.
And I always felt the blood sucking vampires are powerful and reckless but this vampire in your post has frailties. And in his earlier life a vegetarian. I would love a serial on vampire. There is an element of fun in your writing.
You are very kind, Kalpana.
I believe there is another side to every story.
And I enjoy poking fun at stereotypes.
Fun and whimsical vampire story. How could an ominous photo prompt produce such a humorous write? Genious !!!! 😎
I am slightly overwhelmed by your generous praise.
Delighted you found it so entertaining.
Poor vampire. He’s not in a happy place. If he only drinks the blood of vegetarians, would that help I wonder? A wonderfully whimsical story.
A lovely thought, dear Margaret!
I am very happy my little piece gave you such pleasure.
:bear:
Thanks for visiting but, sadly, I have no idea what your comment means.
Cheers
I have not yet written a vampire story, perhaps now I’m bitten. Surely, he’s tried some of the blood substitutes, made from beet & tomato juice. I hear they are healthier, but don’t have the same bite. Perhaps a dash of horseradish and splash of Worcestershire would cure that. Great story this week.
Oh, please don’t, Russell, or Rochelle will be looking out her big pointy stake!
Glad you enjoyed.
I’m sharpening that stake as I read. Be afraid, be very afraid. 😈
No Shalom,
Rochelle
I absolutely adore a vampire that hates blood! Love this piece! Brilliant!
Thank you, Joy, it seems reasonable that vampires have the same problems as the rest of us.
Love your story! (Hate vampires, too! And I’m a vegetarian, so I sympathize with your poor vampire!)
Thank you, DoD, glad it hit the spot.
And are you aware that your site is protected against my visit?
This certainly has a sound bite.
And elephant is just jealous of that cape.
Thank you, MJ.
AnElephantCant swirl a cape, for sure!
Dear CE,
When I saw your title I laughed out loud. The story only made it better. No garlic or sunshine?
There’s an old saying that you can’t get blood out of a turnip. Pity for him that you can’t. 😉 Delightful story…I’ll even forgive you for the vampire…as long as you don’t write a serial about him.
Shalom,
Rochelle
PS I hope this is coherent.
Hi Rochelle
Glad you are well enough to write.
And just about coherent, yes!
Just for you, I am planning a serial about a vampire with toothache.
It will have long weekly intros (c. 350 words), post script explanations (no max.), and be my weekly submission to 14 different challenges.
I look forward to your weekly visits and continued support.
And, perhaps, you will be good enough to record your comments in a mock Scottish accent?
Sweet dreams
Lovely humour in your story.
Well, thanks, but I am a funny guy.
When I am not bumping folk off by the barrow load.
Now, this is one vampire story that I like! Excellent work.
Thank you, very happy you enjoyed.
Yikes! I am a vegetarian and I believe in rebirth so I hope …. I will be born in Iceland 🙂 Thanks for the laugh 😀
Very happy you had a chuckle.
Maybe blood oranges are the way forward?
Oh you make me laugh, sir! He truly must be in purgatory! Côte d’Azure? No Garlic? No Sunlight? No fun at all… Vegetarian vampire… shakes her head…
Happy to amuse, Dale, glad you liked the concept.
And don’t shake too hard, it might fall off.
PS No story this week?
Mayhaps. The picture is loaded…the words will come! (I hope…)
Vampires in France…that would horrific in general. Well done on this week’s work!
Thanks, Miles, glad you enjoyed.
And some of the great Toothies hung out in Paris, you know.
Yeah, but modern Paris? Eyyyyuck! XD
Great story – I love your wit and warmth! Veggie Vampire, indeed! 😀
Wow, thanks.
Wit and warmth, that is pretty cool!
This is a vampire story I can get into!
Thank you, Tracey, I promise I will never do another one.
I don’t care for vampire stories either, but this made me laugh. No garlic? Forever?? Horrors. Thanks for spinning this one.
You are absolutely right.
Living in France and avoiding garlic is a real horror movie.
Glad you found it amusing.
The first vampire of the week, and delivered with panache and wit. Nicely done.
Thank you, Sandra, I was concerned that the very title would put people off.
I lay the blame for this firmly at the feet of our exalted leader.
Or, as we say in Scotland, a big boy done it and ran away.
Ha! This is very fun. The downside of living forever.
Yep, poor chap is on the wrong diet.
Happy to amuse.
Thanks for the early morning laugh. Loved this!
Thank you.
My day is a success!
LOL. A veggie Vampire. Nice!
Thank you, dear lady, I am glad you enjoyed.
This is brilliant. Poor, poor vampire. Maybe he should go visit the ‘Buffyverse’–there’s some fun for vampires there (the tv show Buffy the vampire killer, and the spin-off Angel. I’m not fond of movie vampires either, but ‘Buffy’ was really, really good. Good characters, plot, fun, nonsense, and vampires.)
Thank you, Gah, you are very kind.
I usually avoid vampires like the plague, but this story popped up during a conversation in which I said I would never write a vampire story unless I found a twist.
But never again, okay!
🙂 :[
“dead glamorous” – a deliberate pun?
Good piece.
Sadly, Mick, my puns are always deliberate.
My pink alter ego is a mammoth beast for bad puns (and bad rhymes).
Glad you enjoyed.
A vampire who was a vegetarian in a previous life is obviously in some sort of purgatory.
Now…go write your next story! 😉
Um, I feel like I just got scolded!
Writing, ma’am, writing.
Vegetarian… You are amazing, made me smile.. Thank you, love, nia
Thank you, Nia, I am always happy if I make you smile.
Hugs
You are welcome, did I tell you before how nice of you 🙂 Thank you, love, nia
Reblogged this on anelephantcant and commented:
AnElephantCant write about vampires
That is one of his rules though unwritten
He does not like the cloak
Or the big puff of smoke
And he is really afraid to get bitten