The Birds – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant go down to the woods today
He does not like surprises
He is quite scared
Of teddy bears
When they wear top hats and disguises

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Queen of the Forest Rochelle brooks no rubbish from her swathe of sylvan story-tellers.
And AnElephantCant see the wood for the trees.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright – Sandra Crook

Copyright – Sandra Crook

The Birds

When I see the birds circling I know something is amiss.
They are over the wooded area near the little footbridge.
She has been missing now for several days, no calls, no texts, no updates on her social media.
Our friends give me comfort.
But the birds make me fear the worst.
No one has searched there.
Well, why would they?
There is no reason to suspect anything is wrong.
But I feel a lump in my stomach, and a cold dread clutches at my heart.
I cannot find my watch.
Did I bury it with her in those woods?

This entry was posted in Daft Rhymes, Friday Fictioneer and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to The Birds – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Eek!! I hope he did bury his watch and gets caught! 🙂


  2. What a brilliant twist! The deception was complete until the last line, then rereading tells a completely different story. Very clever


  3. Margaret says:

    I love the pace of this- your short sentences and line arrangement give a feeling of disconnectedness which works really well. The birds are also wonderfully evocative. Great story.


  4. Glynis says:

    Oh that gnawing feeling when you know something went wrong, but what! Great story !


  5. Indeed, that IS worrisome! 😉


  6. emmylgant says:

    All the art and craftsmanship is in the timing. 🙂
    Good to the last period!


  7. Well done. That first line certainly set the tone and there was nothing to spoil it.


  8. Jan Brown says:

    Dear Elephant,
    You are quite brilliant, taking us through a web of tears and sympathy, all the way to the last line. Then, alas, we find we have been empathizing with a killer. Well done!


  9. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Elephant, Ah ha! You are a murderer too! You and Bjorn are especially devious this week and I absolutely love your story – you are such a clever pachyderm . Being an elephant, you could surely hide all the bodies in your trunk. Nan 🙂


  10. You and Bjorn are on a similar theme today. I’ve had that gnawing feeling about if I’ve locked the door when I’ve left. I can’t imagine it in this situation. He has to go find out, I guess, as long as he doesn’t get caught. Pretty creepy stuff. 🙂


  11. Elizabeth says:

    this one is terrific, a worried killer.


  12. storydivamg says:

    Dear Elephant,
    The turn that comes with “I can’t find my watch.” works beautifully, IMO. Good work. You weave the killer’s point of view with such skill that I’m not sure whether to root for him/her or for the search party.

    All my best,
    Marie Gail


  13. Oh, you and Bjorn went down the same murderous path. Very well done. Lovely twist at the end.


  14. Very clever – you definitely led us all down the garden (woodland) path.


  15. Very clever, your story is clear from the start, it is we that presumed things and perceived the ending as a twist.


  16. Yup.. exactly what I saw in the picture as well.. a murder hidden… but you better watch the clock..


  17. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear AEC,

    The Telltale Watch…

    Great story with a wonderful twist. Very well done.




  18. Dear Elephant,

    Hope that watch doesn’t have an alarm. Could ring in his demise. Nicely done.




  19. latasun says:

    Ooh.. that was real good. the ending had a good twist and made me sit up!!


  20. Shilpa Gupte says:

    That was simply fantastic! What a twist at the end!


  21. wildbilbo says:

    Loved this one – the turnaround at the end was delicious.


  22. Sandra says:

    Nothing for it… got to go back and dig her up. Nice one, Elephant. 🙂


Leave your Sound Bite here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.