Domestic Animals – Unicorn Challenge

The Unicorn Challenge.

A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.

To hear me read my story, just click here:

Domestic Animals

You know what I can’t stand, yeah?
No, well if you stop interrupting and just shut up, I’ll tell you.
Petty little people with petty little rules, that’s what I hate.
I mean, I’m an easy-going sort of guy generally – don’t argue, I bliddy am – but some things get right on my bumpy bits, know what I mean.
For instance, this sign here.
You can only take your dog to the beach before 6 in the morning or after 9 at night.
Well, I’d say anybody on the beach at night is up to no good, either having a wee bit houghmagandie (if they’re lucky), getting smashed, or smoking dope.
All of which are fine with me, by the way, there was a time, y’know, aye…
But here’s my point, only an insomable, an unsomical, ach, somebody that can’t sleep will be there before 6 a-bliddy-m.
And here’s my other point.
Well, it’s a question really.
What do they mean by ‘domestic animals’, eh?
Does that include all pets, like cats and budgies and even goldfish?
Although it might be a bit cruel to let a wee dude that lives in a bowl see the sea, know what I mean.
Does it also include things like cows?
That could be quite neat (geddit?), you could have a drink of fresh milk after your swim.
Anyway, here’s my plan.
Tomorrow, about midday, I’m going to stroll along the sand with Cami.
He’s a crocodile.
What’ll they say about that, eh?

* * *

Just because it’s such a great song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FKRIK5jQzs

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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15 Responses to Domestic Animals – Unicorn Challenge

  1. Brilliant! This is you at your petulant best. See you later, alligator!

  2. Sally's avatar Sally says:

    Love, love, love! This is SO GOOD! Yes, we went down the same road.

    Like Clark, I had to look up “houghmagandie” — new word. My father used to tell me that when I learned a new word, I had to use three times that day. Not sure when I’ll use that one. 🙂

    And, like Margaret, I LOVE hearing you read.

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      Hmm, yes, not a word a lady can casually slip into conversation without raising a few eyebrows!

      Glad you enjoyed it so much, Sally, and that the readings are worth the effort.

      Thank you for your kind words of support.

  3. Margaret's avatar Margaret says:

    A crocodile! Of course. Love the voice in this, and listening to you read it. Lots of fun.

  4. clark's avatar clark says:

    lol

    funny… funny, bang punchline (Story-telling Masterclass)

    (how fun* is this, yours and jenne’s hangout? I totally googled ‘houghmagandie’ who said you ever need to stop learning?)

    *new? odd-looking word? sswipe-click

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      I do like ‘Masterclass’ and that the colonials can still learn from Auld Scotia!

      Glad you’re enjoying the Challenge, it enjoys you too.

  5. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall says:

    Run for your life!🐊🤣

  6. Pingback: The Notice – Tales from Glasgow

  7. Never smile at a crocodile. 😉

  8. R.M. Carlson's avatar R.M. Carlson says:

    This is absolutely the funniest thing I’ve ever read!!!

  9. R.M. Carlson's avatar R.M. Carlson says:

    Insomniac. So now we have to translate!? Just kidding!

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