Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
And she contributes this week’s intriguing photo which, and I am only guessing, was not taken in Kansas City.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Click here to hear the author read this 1 minute story:
Walk Away
I watch you walk away.
You always walk so beautifully.
Each time you return I ask you to stay.
And you do, until the next time you leave.
You have hurt me so badly, so often.
When I beg you not to do this, you smile.
When I swear to you that I will not take you back again, you laugh.
When I swear that I will not let you go, you wave goodbye.
You know how much I love you, how much I long for your touch.
I watch you walk away.
But, this time, only in my mind.
The ending has a sinister touch, the result of being toyed with, I suppose.
I gotta say,sounds like she had it coming.
Enjoyable read.
Laughing. Empathy not your strong point today, Dawn?
Considering many of your past stories, C.E., I’d guess she’s no longer among the living. Good writing as usual. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thanks, Suzanne, I’d guess you’re spot on!
Just as well I read the comments for clarification of that last line. Yes, you have form so I usually do think there’s something sinister afoot.
Well done. Beautifully written.
xx Rowena
Thank you, Rowena, just so long as you enjoyed it.
I equated her to an abstract emotion called ‘Happiness’.
the last line tells a lot.
http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/06/the-archways.html
I am not sure I understand your comment, but thank you for taking the time to visit and share your thoughts.
Oh Oh! Lots of possibilities jump out especially because of the last line. Has the narrator had enough? Has he let her go for good? Did she stay or did he kill her? Well written, Sir. Cheers, Varad
Oh oh, lots of good questions! Glad you enjoyed, Sir
Intriguing ending. Did he do her in? I would think that her laughing at him might raise some ire.
I love this comment, It varies between East End gangster ‘do her in’ to twee middle class ‘raise some ire’! Thank you, Sascha, you win this week’s Star Prize.
Wow (wonder where that applies), I be not knowing there was a prize!
And The Wurzels make a late bid!
How to change the pattern? Did she finally not let her walk away? Or did she one time suddenly not come back so he remembers her walking away Only? Interesting one CE. Hugs
You know me, Amanda, the sting is in the tail. Hugs
So this time she really stayed, but I think the uncertainty in the relationship would be brutal.
Um, no, not as such.
It seems that my last line does not work as intended, sometimes a problem with 100 word stories.
Thanks for your visit, and comment.
The overall impression is that she can take him or leave him, but you seem to be suggesting that this time she stayed for sure. Nice to have a happy ending.
Yes. I’d enjoyed it until the last line. If you’d simply omitted the last line, so that the story referred to the rather homely woman fifty yards up the road, it could have been a poignant tribute to the enduring nature of love and attraction. Which probably just shows that every reader reads a different story!
Laughing here, Penny. Not sure where you found the ‘rather homely woman’ you refer to? And is it not just a tad one-sided to be ‘a poignant tribute to the enduring nature of love and attraction’? I agree that sometimes, just sometimes, there is someone who reads a totally different story. Thank you so much for visiting and contributing.
This was so precise and on the mark. You’ve captured the mind set of both characters, the torment the torture, the hopelessness to do anything to change things. Love and unrequited love.
Thank you, Michael, I am happy you took so much from it.
I guess some people are addicted to pain. You have captured his predicament quite well. Fortunately, she is now abandoning him only in his mind 🙂
Or, like Mr Palmer, to Love? Um, yes, but why? See Nan, below.
How devastatingly poignant. Did he ring her neck or what? Nan
Laughing. That was one of my sainted mother’s favourite threats! And I had no words left for specifics, but probably along those lines.
There was so much sorrow in this story, and as others commented, her flippant responses made her unlikable. As a result, I was not all that surprised when at the end she walked away again, but only in his mind. I felt his pain growing, and suspected he’d break.
Gosh, you are harsh, Mandie, she is really quite sweet, just a tad footloose!
And the question is what did he break (see Nan above)
I hate to hear people are in these relationships. I am very blessed, I guess. Your story is very well written.
Thanks, Mike
Dear CE,
I hate her already. What a tease. Playing that poor dope like a yo-yo on a string. And to think, she did the same thing to Perry last week.
Rock Hudstone
Dear Rock, I thought Perry was a yo-yo, although possibly short of a string.
She is really a nice lady, if perhaps a little fickle.
Please say hello to your brother Roll from me.
Bricky Nelson
Wonderful. His bewilderment is so sad. :o)
Thank you, Mrs C, very kind
Beautifully written. I feel for the poor tortured soul but wonder about the last line. Did he know she was gone for good? Did something nefarious happen to her?
Probably, if I only knew what nefarious means!
I find nothing ambiguous in the last line, but that could be because I am familiar with your back catalogue!
Laughing. You know me too well!
In my work-a-day world, we call this a dysfunctional relationship. Your story reminded of the one I walked away from eons ago. So glad I did.
In my single syllable world, words like that make my head hurt
Yes, they make my head hurt too. I’m not very good at speaking psychobabble, even though I’m a veteran of the trade. Your comment made me laugh 🙂
…and people ask why I prefer to remain single! A wonderfully reflective piece sir.
Please click to read my FriFic
Glad you liked it, Keith
It is hard to let the ones we love “walk away”. Loved the poem.. <3
Thank you. I love that you consider it a poem.
Self destructive isn’t the half of it. Some people really are bad for each other … and still they can’t stay apart. Wonderfully told, C
You are too kind, Lynn. And I agree, one of life’s nastier tricks is that we can’t choose who we love.
My pleasure. Yes, this love business is not always a healthy pasttime 🙂
All I can say is: Powerful. Well done, C.E.
Thank you, Miles.
There is that one love that we just can’t seem to let go of, no matter how much pain it brings. Beautifully written. I choose to think the last line is because she finally stopped tormenting him – no! Not by death but by simply not returning… 😉
Thanks, Dale, the ambiguity of the last line is to protect the fragile sensibilities of delicate Canucks.
Of course… so very kind of you…
Wow! Super cool, poetic and poignant. Way to go, C.E.!
Wow! Super enthusiasm, thanks, Kent!
Nicely captured, and oh so sad. I like the idea of resentment taking the form of an endlessly repeated loop.
Thank you, sir
hasnt everyone gone through this painful feeling atleast once in life?
Well written
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
Thank you, Mrs D, I suspect it is all too common
Beautiful depiction of thoughts, like plucking petals from a flower “Will she, Won’t she?”
You are very kind, Reena
I enjoyed this portrayal of life, but for the last sentence. I fear what has occoured
Glad you did, Michael, and well justified fears.
Beautifully written, and I love that ambiguous last line. Does that mean the person has stayed, or that the narrator has made them stay? Could be romantic or sinister….
Thank you, Claire. Sinister was my intention, I confess…
Dear CE,
Some relationships are like that. And yet we return for more of the same. Painfully good story.
You could say the photo was taken slightly east of Kansas City. Jerusalem. I hope to return one day.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you for kind words, m’lady, sorry about the pain.
A fine portrayal of the way we torrture each other and ourselves
Thanks, Neil