Walk Away – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
And she contributes this week’s intriguing photo which, and I am only guessing, was not taken in Kansas City.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.

© Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Click here to hear the author read this 1 minute story:
Walk Away

I watch you walk away.
You always walk so beautifully.
Each time you return I ask you to stay.
And you do, until the next time you leave.
You have hurt me so badly, so often.
When I beg you not to do this, you smile.
When I swear to you that I will not take you back again, you laugh.
When I swear that I will not let you go, you wave goodbye.
You know how much I love you, how much I long for your touch.
I watch you walk away.
But, this time, only in my mind.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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71 Responses to Walk Away – Friday Fictioneers

  1. The ending has a sinister touch, the result of being toyed with, I suppose.

    Like

  2. I gotta say,sounds like she had it coming.
    Enjoyable read.

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  3. Considering many of your past stories, C.E., I’d guess she’s no longer among the living. Good writing as usual. 🙂 — Suzanne

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  4. Rowena says:

    Just as well I read the comments for clarification of that last line. Yes, you have form so I usually do think there’s something sinister afoot.
    Well done. Beautifully written.
    xx Rowena

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  5. I equated her to an abstract emotion called ‘Happiness’.
    the last line tells a lot.
    http://ideasolsi65.blogspot.in/2017/06/the-archways.html

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  6. L.E.R.T says:

    Oh Oh! Lots of possibilities jump out especially because of the last line. Has the narrator had enough? Has he let her go for good? Did she stay or did he kill her? Well written, Sir. Cheers, Varad

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  7. Intriguing ending. Did he do her in? I would think that her laughing at him might raise some ire.

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  8. mandibelle16 says:

    How to change the pattern? Did she finally not let her walk away? Or did she one time suddenly not come back so he remembers her walking away Only? Interesting one CE. Hugs

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  9. James says:

    So this time she really stayed, but I think the uncertainty in the relationship would be brutal.

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    • ceayr says:

      Um, no, not as such.
      It seems that my last line does not work as intended, sometimes a problem with 100 word stories.
      Thanks for your visit, and comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      • James says:

        The overall impression is that she can take him or leave him, but you seem to be suggesting that this time she stayed for sure. Nice to have a happy ending.

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      • pennygadd51 says:

        Yes. I’d enjoyed it until the last line. If you’d simply omitted the last line, so that the story referred to the rather homely woman fifty yards up the road, it could have been a poignant tribute to the enduring nature of love and attraction. Which probably just shows that every reader reads a different story!

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        • ceayr says:

          Laughing here, Penny. Not sure where you found the ‘rather homely woman’ you refer to? And is it not just a tad one-sided to be ‘a poignant tribute to the enduring nature of love and attraction’? I agree that sometimes, just sometimes, there is someone who reads a totally different story. Thank you so much for visiting and contributing.

          Like

  10. Michael Wynn says:

    This was so precise and on the mark. You’ve captured the mind set of both characters, the torment the torture, the hopelessness to do anything to change things. Love and unrequited love.

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  11. I guess some people are addicted to pain. You have captured his predicament quite well. Fortunately, she is now abandoning him only in his mind 🙂

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  12. Nan Falkner says:

    How devastatingly poignant. Did he ring her neck or what? Nan

    Like

  13. Mandie Hines says:

    There was so much sorrow in this story, and as others commented, her flippant responses made her unlikable. As a result, I was not all that surprised when at the end she walked away again, but only in his mind. I felt his pain growing, and suspected he’d break.

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  14. Mike says:

    I hate to hear people are in these relationships. I am very blessed, I guess. Your story is very well written.

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  15. rgayer55 says:

    Dear CE,

    I hate her already. What a tease. Playing that poor dope like a yo-yo on a string. And to think, she did the same thing to Perry last week.

    Rock Hudstone

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      Dear Rock, I thought Perry was a yo-yo, although possibly short of a string.
      She is really a nice lady, if perhaps a little fickle.
      Please say hello to your brother Roll from me.
      Bricky Nelson

      Like

  16. Wonderful. His bewilderment is so sad. :o)

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  17. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover says:

    Beautifully written. I feel for the poor tortured soul but wonder about the last line. Did he know she was gone for good? Did something nefarious happen to her?

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  18. Iain Kelly says:

    I find nothing ambiguous in the last line, but that could be because I am familiar with your back catalogue!

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  19. granonine says:

    In my work-a-day world, we call this a dysfunctional relationship. Your story reminded of the one I walked away from eons ago. So glad I did.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. …and people ask why I prefer to remain single! A wonderfully reflective piece sir.

    Please click to read my FriFic

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  21. It is hard to let the ones we love “walk away”. Loved the poem.. ❤

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  22. Lynn Love says:

    Self destructive isn’t the half of it. Some people really are bad for each other … and still they can’t stay apart. Wonderfully told, C

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  23. Miles Rost says:

    All I can say is: Powerful. Well done, C.E.

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  24. Dale says:

    There is that one love that we just can’t seem to let go of, no matter how much pain it brings. Beautifully written. I choose to think the last line is because she finally stopped tormenting him – no! Not by death but by simply not returning… 😉

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  25. wmqcolby says:

    Wow! Super cool, poetic and poignant. Way to go, C.E.!

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  26. Nicely captured, and oh so sad. I like the idea of resentment taking the form of an endlessly repeated loop.

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  27. Mrs.Dash says:

    hasnt everyone gone through this painful feeling atleast once in life?
    Well written

    Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says

    Like

  28. Reena Saxena says:

    Beautiful depiction of thoughts, like plucking petals from a flower “Will she, Won’t she?”

    Liked by 1 person

  29. michael1148humphris says:

    I enjoyed this portrayal of life, but for the last sentence. I fear what has occoured

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  30. Beautifully written, and I love that ambiguous last line. Does that mean the person has stayed, or that the narrator has made them stay? Could be romantic or sinister….

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  31. Dear CE,

    Some relationships are like that. And yet we return for more of the same. Painfully good story.
    You could say the photo was taken slightly east of Kansas City. Jerusalem. I hope to return one day.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  32. neilmacdon says:

    A fine portrayal of the way we torrture each other and ourselves

    Like

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