The Unicorn Challenge.
A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.
To hear me read my story, just click here:
The Glen
The night is fading towards morning when, through the gloom, we see the rough-stone cottage nestling beside the burn at the foot of the glen.
The officer and I watch from above as his red-coated soldiers, bayonets fixed to cocked muskets, move to surround it with well-trained speed and stealth.
I decide it’s time to show my true colours, so I pull my stolen flintlock pistol from beneath my plaid cloak.
General, I say, though I know he is only a lieutenant, this micht just be a wee thing, but it makes a very big bang.
He reaches for his sword so, at point-blank range, I blow a hole the size of my fist in his stomach, then throw myself backwards into the heather a couple of yards away.
As the first trooper reappears, staring in disbelief at his fallen leader, I point up to the still dark, rock-strewn, north-western slopes, and gasp ‘That way, he went that way’.
Shouting orders, he leads the charge in the direction indicated, and I turn my eyes to the figure now silhouetted against the eastern horizon.
I stand quickly, light a candle, and move it slowly to and fro low across my body.
My heart rejoices as I see a hand raised in salute before the hunted hero of my people disappears, safe for now, towards Rannoch Moor.
Sometimes the biggest bang comes from the smallest and unlikely weapon. Beware and hurrah!
I like ‘hurrah!’ LIz. That pins your colours to the mast!
Very nicely done
not surprisingly, after reading this the second time, the thought came, ‘ya gotta try one of those’
(will spare you the cleverly tedious back-and-forth, Comment Writer’s internal dialogue… ) but, it just so happens that I’ve been thinking I need to develop my action-writing skills.
imo, way trickier to do well than you’d think… mostly in not letting the action detract from the characters nor the setting from the action.
ex: “General, I say, though I know he is only a lieutenant*, this micht just be a wee thing, but it makes a very big bang.
He reaches for his sword so, at point-blank range, I blow a hole the size of my fist in his stomach, then throw myself backwards into the heather a couple of yards away.**”
*nice: a simple phrase that speaks volumes about the MC
** reinforce the setting… and urgency
ok… off to the practice room.
Thanks Clark. I continue to be impressed by your attention to detail and determination to improve your own considerable skills by analysis of other writing.
An incredibly descriptive piece CE, I could visualise it as I read it.
Thanks, Keith. Glencoe with its grandeur, atmosphere and history is an inspirational setting, especially for Scots.
A powerful vignette of a crucial point in our history.
Each word, each description earns its place and carries the adventure on.
For example: ‘the hunted hero of my people’ – six words that tell so much more and draw the reader right in to his passion for his land and his people.
It’s not a chapeau you need for this one, more a blue bonnet with a white cockade.
Regardless of allegiance, we were – and are – all profoundly impacted by these events and their repercussions.
The bagpipes made me jump! Nice addition to a great story.
They do stir the blood, don’t they!
Glad you enjoyed.
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