Home Help – Six Sentence Story

Copyright C. E. Ayr

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – SIN

Click here to hear the author read his words:

Home Help

Many, many years ago, when the world was admittedly no longer young but nevertheless a mere innocent bairn compared to today’s haggard, care-worn and cynical spheroid, ellipsoid or geoid (please feel free to choose your own preferred definition) I was in the interesting position of having a high-pressure long-hours job, being no longer married, and in desperate need of high-quality assistance in maintaining some semblance of cleanliness and order in my living quarters.

I also, being a man (more or less), had (and have) a deep-rooted, life-long, genetically-induced aversion to making shirts, especially, look presentable by the application of a warm flat metal surface.

Yeah, go figure, it may well be the top sin in that (I feel) overly long list of transgressions forbidden to man, but I just absolutely detested (and still do detest) ironing clothes, which irritating hurdle I overcame by my standard expedient of throwing money at it or, to put it simply (okay, Keith?) I hired a person to perform certain basic tasks for a moderately exorbitant fee.

In Scotland we refer to such employees as my char-woman, my daily lady, my home help, or, in the exalted circles in which I then moved, my-lady-who-does-for-me, and the arrangement functioned smoothly for many a moon until that dark day when I received a call telling me that, due to unforeseen circumstances (why are circumstances never foreseen?) my usual angel-of-the-iron was unavailable and could I perhaps wait at home to admit a temporary replacement.

On opening the door some time later I was rather taken aback to see, standing smiling and holding a wee bucket containing rubber gloves, cigarette papers, tobacco and hand cream, what looked like a humpless camel, so I politely enquired as to whether said creature was a Shaolin alpaca.

With a raised eyebrow and, I’m sorry to inform my reader, a bit of a spit, I was somewhat haughtily informed ‘Au contraire, I am in fact your Daily Llama’.

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35 Responses to Home Help – Six Sentence Story

  1. The pain of ironing a shirt that crumples within minutes 😞.
    Angel-of-the-iron does sound like a better job title than the others.

    Like

  2. You had me at “I just absolutely detested (and still do detest) ironing clothes”, lol
    In the colder months, ceayr, I suggest sweaters as the anti-iron person’s friend. Pullovers – no brainer go to. Cardigan type – you just have to iron the shirt collar, a little bit of the front. Good to go 😁

    Like

  3. ‘Simply’ brilliant. Thanks (not) for reminding me I have a heap of stuff waiting to be ironed. Apart from that, it was a fun read!

    Like

  4. ladysighs says:

    Enjoyed the interesting story.

    Like

  5. Ironing is the worst! And remember that i am a techno dunce, so i have no clue why you end up being anonymous on my blog sometimes.

    Like

  6. UP says:

    we go throuogh an iron every few years.. TLW is quite the presser! Good six

    Like

  7. UP says:

    you are a wordsmith for sure.

    great six

    Like

  8. clark says:

    “Bless me father for I have worn the un-iron(ied).”

    Fun post, yo.
    (laughed at the “…it may well be the top sin…” hey, at least corrective eyeglass lenses are rarely required as a result of excessive wrinkles)

    lol

    Like

  9. Frank Hubeny says:

    You made me wonder if I still have an iron somewhere and whether I still need to learn how to use it.

    Like

  10. And you accuse me of groan-inducing puns? 🙂 Loved this inspired rant and reminded me so clearly of my ten years of singularity between marriages. However I’d be wary of the potentially murderous intentions of the lady-who-does-for-you. 😉

    Like

  11. A delightful experience. You’re sharper than your freshly ironed shirts.

    Like

  12. trishsplace says:

    Great story! So good. I’ve written 6 short sentences, you’ve written a yarn! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Leyde Ryan says:

    You’ve done it again–amazed us all, BRAVO!! Just so you know, having ironed for my family of 9 throughout my teen years, and not enjoying it–I pitched my iron out at least 25 years ago, and haven’t missed it one day. However, I no longer dress for success or to impress–it’s T-shirts and some sort of light-weight knit pants that go just below the knee, for this old gal. They get washed and dried–and maybe on a really inspired day, I hang up slightly damp shirts on shower curtain rod so there are fewer wrinkles. I have a life, and it’s not Ironing. PS: how are you feeling…residual Covid symptoms?💖

    Like

  14. Nancy Richy says:

    So lost was I in your words, woven together like the finest Scottish kilt, that I never expected that final sentence! What a treat to read your lovely work and such fun!

    Like

  15. jenne49 says:

    You lead us in another glorious romp through the joy of words – and wit.
    And that final sentence is a sheer triumph – I’m still laughing.
    Wonderful.

    Like

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