A Day in the Death – Six Sentence Story

Artwork by Phil Burns

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – FLUID

Click here to hear the author read his words:

A Day in the Death

This is one of those days, one of those murky, muggy days, when everything’s a bit, what’s the word, fluid maybe, like nothing’s too solid, there’s nothing to get a hold of, and I seem to exist in a haze, in a swirl of mist, or fog, or even, if I was on the other coast, a haar.

Although my memory is not what it was, I can still remember some things, just not the boring stuff like who I am, where I’m from, and why I’m here.

But I find that, as time passes, all those personal details become increasingly irrelevant, quite meaningless.

I do, I’m pretty sure, remember the important moments of my life, like that cold, dreich evening when everything changed, I did bad things, and that particular life ended.

I think, for example, that I remember why I killed her, and then myself.

Except, of course, that I didn’t actually top myself, did I, because that would have been dumb, and kind of final, so I just pretended that bit.

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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29 Responses to A Day in the Death – Six Sentence Story

  1. Very cool. The character is indeed very fluid, having me think first just confused, then it’s a ghost, then maybe still alive but with some dark secrets and no matter it’s all very spooky.

  2. Liz H's avatar Liz H says:

    Phantom fools himself.
    Spectacular, spooky six!

  3. Tom's avatar Tom says:

    It reads to me like the swirling thoughts of an ethereal phantom, CE, who maybe trying to turn the reality into pretence! Quite a ghost story!

  4. Great mysterious 6, Ceayr. It seems he is having inner turmoil. Murder/suicide feeling on this one.

  5. He leaves us in a fluid state also, about his ultimate fate.

  6. clark's avatar clark says:

    liking the new (for me) wordage… (to devolve into the metaphor of an a certain Cafe & Bistro that shall remain unnamed), reading the writing of others, especially those employing a vocabulary that includes another language (or dialect or whatever the word is).
    much in common, being from a coastal area where there are more words for fog than there are for sunny skies
    good Six

  7. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny says:

    Very nice dialog with one’s self and an inability to remember the boring stuff. I like how some of what was remembered was also an act of pretending.

  8. So, you are hiding in plain sight. Just a matter of time, ole’ bean.

  9. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall says:

    I see ambiguity in this tale… did he or didn’t he? man or spirit?
    (dreich is one of my favourite Scottish words)

  10. Great six, CE. Why do I suspect that one day we’re going to find out these tales are all true confessions? 🙂

  11. The atmosphere in the first sentence is so palpable. An eerie tale, I’m not totally convinced this is the story of a living man but rather that of a man unaware his corporeal self no longer lives.
    At least that’s my first impression, CE!
    Beautifully crafted in your unique, dark style.

  12. Cassa Bassa's avatar Cassa Bassa says:

    Hm very cold blooded.

  13. jenne49's avatar jenne49 says:

    Oh the masterful use of language – such a truly dreich and haunting image conjured up.
    But no actual haunting, as the unforeseen twist reveals!
    It seems wrong to smile at such a grim tale, but it’s so skilfully written and beautifully read – I’m smiling.

  14. ladysighs's avatar ladysighs says:

    All is not lost as I learned a new word “haar.” I even listened to it being pronounced. Sounded just like “hardy har har.”

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      I confess, dear Lady, that I felt like a character from the great RLS’ Treasure Island uttering piratically ‘Aargh, Jim lad’!

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