The Moped – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant even try to be funny this week
He is luckily quite pressed for time
So he decides to be serious
Instead of hilarious
And pens this philosophically thought-provoking rhyme

Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
A sometimes uphill struggle for the wonderful Rochelle, who helps her legions to scale new heights.
And AnElephant has a mountain to climb.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright-Björn Rudberg

Copyright-Björn Rudberg

The Moped

She is the envy of her friends.
Already the smartest and prettiest girl in class, she is therefore also the most popular.
And Daddy has just bought her a brand new moped for her fourteenth birthday.
It is pink and white, with matching crash helmet, just like her phone.
On which she chats shrilly to her BFF as she sweeps down the hill towards the busy roundabout.
Blonde hair flying behind her, she turns her head to acknowledge the two boys who whistle their youthful appreciation.
And does not see the two children, hand in hand, step onto the crossing.


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26 Responses to The Moped – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Elephant, Excellent story with a good moral. Parents who give their children too much stuff at an early age, sometimes regret that decision. I’m sure the 14 year old girl (if she survived) will never be the same again. This happens all too often. Good story and straight to the point! Nan 🙂


  2. Ruchi Chopra says:

    A sad tale but with reality check.Good one.


  3. Preeti says:

    Driving and cellphones – lethal combination. Hope the children are alright. Great story.


  4. I hope everything went fine at the end though 🙂


  5. wmqcolby says:

    We have and more news stories about distracted driving than I care to remember. Obviously, it’s the new normal for our times.

    A terrific and cautionary tale told by an Elephant. Well done!


  6. emmylgant says:

    I like the description of the little princess who has been applauded and rewarded all her life and so never learned to pay attention to others. A princess is perfect and there is always someone to clean up after her.
    The last line, as usual, stuns the reader in spite of the sense of danger that you carefully buid because she is so careless! Very well done


  7. Elephant, Sad story and very realistic. Parents are probably trying to live through a child. That moped, or something similar, was probably what the dad wanted when he was her age. Now everyone will suffer because of his and the daughter’s wrong judgment. Well written. —Susan


  8. AnnIsikArts says:

    A topical story, sadly. And the death toll with mount and mount. Well written. 🙂


  9. storydivamg says:

    And so a beauty queen falls from her throne. Good thing she had the accident while still on a moped instead of after Daddy bought her a car to drive.

    All my best,


  10. elmowrites says:

    Either I’m getting serious deja vu, or you wrote something along similar lines a few months ago. I get deja vu a lot, but please let me know if I’m right!
    Either way, I like how you build this girl up for us to see her crashing down. The “like her phone” line confused me a bit, because it sounds like her phone has a matching helmet. I know that’s not what you meant, but it’s how that line read to me.
    Anyway, good stuff, Mr Elephant, and all to realistic.


  11. Wow! Sad for all concerned. Nice writing.


  12. Bastet says:

    Very sad and terrible story … as Rochelle says an all to realistic scenario now days. Well written though. Bravo!


  13. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be pretty (and clueless) in pink. Nice little twist at the end.


  14. Al says:

    A sad tale. One I wish more people would heed. Not because it is illegal, but because of what happens at the end of your tale


  15. Maree Gallop says:

    I was smiling and laughing to myself whilst reading … until I sensed danger. The ending hit me, and the words echoed in my mind. Well done, powerful reading!


  16. And to live with this for the years to come.. reminds me of a story by the Swedish author: Stig Dagerman called “to kill a child”… devastating in its consequences…


  17. I hate sad endings….so she swings to the side, missing them, and learns her lesson – never text and moped…. again.


  18. Oooh, I knew something bad was going to happen, and you didn’t hold back when you hit us with it. You get me every time, Mr Elephant!


  19. kingsleycw13 says:

    If only intelligence could override teenage hormones. A wonderful, gentle build here to a very – sadly – realistic punchline. gGeat stuff.


  20. Unfortunately, I saw this happening in RL too many times. Parents assuming their children can handle that kind of responsibility, too often ends in tragedy. I like the rhythm of your story, you managed to capture carelessness of youth.


  21. Dear Elephant,

    All too realistic scenario. Well done, Sir Pachyderm.




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