The Sentry – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant tell you how grateful he is
You guys support him while he is in transit
When his travels are done
He will visit each one
He promises this is how he plans it

Yup, it is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Managua Gunn

Copyright Managua Gunn

The Sentry

Jimmy had the best job in the world.
Chief of security for King Shuggie XVI of Comfortania, a tiny, picturesque and ridiculously wealthy country on the River Danube.
Everyone loved Shuggie, inside and outside the kingdom.
And yet he was poisoned.
Everyone blamed the Hungarians or the Austrians, of course.
Queen Senga, young, beautiful and very intelligent, had publicly berated poor Jimmy, and demoted him to sentry duty for 12 months.
Which would be up in a couple of weeks, and Jimmy would once again be responsible for the care of the Royal Person.
The lovers’ plan had worked perfectly.

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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28 Responses to The Sentry – Friday Fictioneers

  1. summerstommy's avatar summerstommy says:

    You use language so very well, love it.

  2. Joe Owens's avatar Joe Owens says:

    I was not expecting that ending either, which is a credit to your writing. A very evil twist.

  3. Palace intrigue at its finest. Poor Shuggie.

  4. yarnspinnerr's avatar yarnspinnerr says:

    All the right ingredients and wonderfully crafted. 🙂

  5. Dee's avatar Dee says:

    Shuggie and Senga hmm, I’m sure there is an anagram there but I can’t see it…
    Well done.
    keep safe on your travels
    Dee

  6. Queen Senga!! I never did trust her. Great little tale which probably contains a modicum of some truth somewhere, sometime.

  7. I wonder which one of them came up with this cunning plan. Methinks it has a woman’s touch. Very well told with that unforeseen ending.
    Hope the move is going well.

  8. Trés bien — would the elephant be named Babar now?

  9. Penny L Howe's avatar Penny L Howe says:

    I can’t add to what’s already been said. They all said it well (excepting perhaps the corrections part, lol) How fun. Loved it! 🙂

  10. neenslewy's avatar neenslewy says:

    Beautifully imaginative – France is suiting you …
    Loved this idea
    Chief of security for King Shuggie XVI of Comfortania, a tiny, picturesque and ridiculously wealthy country on the River Danube.

  11. Shreyank's avatar Shreyank says:

    an elephant can and certainly did come up with great tale.. 🙂

  12. EagleAye's avatar EagleAye says:

    Ah brilliant! Romantic intrigue, and I love the creation of an imaginary nation. One that fits the picture perfectly. Most well met, good sir.

  13. julespaige's avatar julespaige says:

    Dear Elephant,
    I know the vamp story is not your thing…so maybe you’d like some entertaining bits on Dragons?
    http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/norgard-a-dragon-tale/

    Nice to see that you got to visit your pal, Al
    If you’re ever in the States…
    I’d be happy to set you some plates…

  14. What fun, except for the king, of course. 🙂 My only quibble is that the way this is written, it makes it sound as though Jimmy was poisoned:

    “Chief of security for King Shuggie XVI of Comfortania, a tiny, picturesque and ridiculously wealthy country on the River Danube.
    Everyone loved him, inside and outside the kingdom.
    And yet he was poisoned.”

    Maybe “Everyone loved the king…” and then, if you need one less word, “Yet he was poisoned.”

    Other than that, loved it, safe travels/unpacking/moving in/etc. 🙂

    janet

  15. JKBradley's avatar JKBradley says:

    Devious.

  16. nightlake's avatar nightlake says:

    smart, but not so faithful queen. Btw, Comfortania sounds like a great place to reside:)

  17. Interesting tale, Elephant Person~!

  18. Kent's avatar Kent says:

    Yes! Fun, fun, fun! Like The Mouse That Roared. Congratulations!

  19. Dear Elephant,

    Ooh. Ouch! You’ve aimed your poison dart and it hit its mark. Well done. Enjoy your travels and thanks for taking time to contribute.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  20. Hannah's avatar Hannah says:

    I like the ending too! Excellent!

  21. Alastair's avatar Alastair says:

    Excellent twist. Poison her husband so they can be together … Brilliant.

    AnElephant has done it again
    Writing has become his addiction
    His posts are sublime
    Each has a rhyme
    Whether the post is fact or fiction

  22. Lady Lovely's avatar Lady Lovely says:

    Don’t worry about us
    Just have fun
    And enjoy
    Your
    Travels

  23. colonialist's avatar colonialist says:

    Only thing that could do with wiggling is to make it clearer who got poisoned. If one assumes it was Jimmy then some cogs start slipping at the end until one readjusts …

  24. Jan Brown's avatar Jan Brown says:

    I didn’t see that coming! Great twist ending.

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