The Drive – Friday Fictioneers

AnElephantCant always apologise
That is not really the point of this verse
But this week sadly
You will see that he
Exceeds wildly his allotted words

But he kinda likes his wee story
He does not want to make it much shorter
If you think it’s too long
Then please just move on
He thinks you should just do what you gotta

Yup, it is Friday Fictioneer time again.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on a picture prompt (below).
That’s it.

Copyright Indira by way of Scott Vanatter

Copyright Indira by way of Scott Vanatter

The Drive

He is at peace with the world.
He has been motoring more or less south through France for the past five days, taking the Routes Nationales rather than the Autoroutes as he is in no hurry to get anywhere in particular.
He enjoys the countryside, the small towns, the rivers and the bridges.

He has no plan, no ties, no commitments.
He is as free as is possible for a man with his background.
When he realises he has no way to escape Aix-en-Provence except on the motorway, he takes it with insouciance.
He is wholly unperturbed, heading east towards Nice at his leisure.

He sees the whole event unfold in slow motion.
First the black shreds of the tyre fly up across his windscreen.
Then he sees the rear of the caravan swing towards his front-end.
Just before it smashes him into the central wall at 120 kilometres per hour he notices the NL plate.
His last thought is that he always liked the Dutch.

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37 Responses to The Drive – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Penny L Howe says:

    What everyone said! The ending was abrupt, but then life interuptus is that way isn’t it! 🙂 xo


  2. Joe Owens says:

    You have to wonder how many splinters the average dutchman carries in thier foot. That has to make driving an adventure. ;O


  3. I was reading this as a personal account right up until the end. Then I hoped not. 🙂 Great lilting style. I felt like the slow pace of the first part made the accident seem in slow motion too.


  4. Dee says:

    This brought back memories of many driving trips through France and of my children, sitting in the back of the car counting caravans.
    Well written and I loved the last line


  5. Sarah Ann says:

    Oh dear, what a last thought to be having. Hopefully it wasn’t his last last. And the Dutch didn’t know their tyre was about to shred. Enjoyed the lovely wistful, laid back feel to the piece.


  6. Dear Elephant,

    This piece flowed well until the abrupt ending. Loved the last line. Never would’ve noticed your exceeding the word count had you not told me. Good job.




  7. Mystic says:

    Well written – dream like quality – coasting along – and the tongue in cheek ending.


  8. summerstommy says:

    I liked this very well written and beautiful flowing language. Sorry nothing rude to say, this time!!


  9. julespaige says:

    Always entertaining. And twisty little endings too.


  10. Lovely. As long as it needs to be. The slow build and then the bang. And I always liked the Dutch too. 🙂


  11. troy P. says:

    Loved, loved, loved this one. The nice easy flow was entrancing, and the violent end gave it a very dream-like quality.


  12. Gabriella says:

    You made me smile with your verse! Enjoy your time in France and don’t bump into a Dutch vehicle!


  13. Shreyank says:

    ps: I hope the elephant likes it new habitat 🙂


  14. Shreyank says:

    as i read it hoped this wasn’t you ! the elephant has come up with a nice story 🙂


  15. shelly says:

    Poor tourist. ..hope he is ok 🙂
    Shelly from BnB 🙂


  16. colonialist says:

    Nicely writ. And the moral of the story is to beware of people you rather like?
    Still wondering if that could be classed as a happy ending …


  17. That’s how quickly something can happen
    sadly at 120 km survival is less possible
    very good story as always


  18. Hope that wasn’t you and that this story isn’t coming from the great beyond! 🙂 Are you all moved now and installed in your new residence?



  19. Alastair says:

    His last thought is that he always liked the Dutch” that did make me laugh.

    A great story, and some of it from your own experiences.


  20. zookyworld says:

    I’m glad that the character had the peaceful time before the crash happened. And your description of the crash was vivid, and I could easily imagine it happening — along with cringing.


  21. Sandra says:

    I can identify with this. That’s how quickly it can happen. I have found however that the French are very disciplined drivers. Now the Spanish…. 😦 Nicely done here.


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