This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – LABYRINTH
Click here to hear the author read his words:
Axe
After pressing the doorbell I step back and wait patiently until the lady of the house opens the door, at which point I tell this pretty young mother, quietly and calmly, that I have an axe.
Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie, she exclaims, all smiles, we don’t need any wood chopped, our heating is all-electric, most of these new houses – she indicates with a vague arm the labyrinth of streets, avenues, roads, places, drives and crescents (all named after coniferous trees) which comprises the neighbourhood – are the same.
I see, I answer politely, smiling back at her, though with less radiance (I have neither the looks nor the teeth to match her delightful charms), that is rather bad news, to be quite honest.
Oh, if you really need the work, honey, maybe try the Clarks across the way… her smile fades quickly as her attempt to close the door is foiled by my large steel toecap boot.
I don’t need work or money, honey, I say, my wants are few, but my axe – and now I brandish it – craves blood.
I’m sure we can satisfy everyone’s needs, she says, the smile brightening again when she sees my eyes widen at what looks suspiciously like a Browning B525 shotgun – I know about these from working the grouse moors – appearing through the gap and pointing towards my throat as she gestures for me to step inside.
Note:
The photo for this prompt is taken from my delightful YouTube video ‘Limbo’.
Why not check it out here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-GHG99KLoU
Did I just swallow half of my ice cream at this twist and get a cold head. Yes, yes I did. I am rooting for the lady of the house now.
Laughing.
Glad it worked for you.
Ha! He’s the Master of Punnage, but I study and learn from the shadowy alcoves. Some day…
I’ll sharpen my axe, or at least my wits!
Maybe we have to tag team, to give the monarchy a run for his money?
Turnabout is fair play. I’m with Doug: He was axin’ for it!
Heh, heh, heh…
C’mon, Liz, Doug gets away with the bad puns, but I expect better from you!
Anymore when I read your SSS I read the first sentence and then immediately scroll right down to the last one.
I will not let your words draw me in, ensnare me, entrap me, entice me, seduce me!
On the other hand …………
‘…draw me in, ensnare me, entrap me, entice me, seduce me!’
I’m away for a cold shower now, dear Lady!
He got more than he bargained for with her.
Aye well, Mimi, a lad and a lady, no competition, really…
Good story, ceayr. Nice buildup and a heck of a satisfactory, surprise ending!
And there I was thinking “Limbo” might be about the dance, lol
Darkly entertaining presentation and the narrator’s voice was perfect for the piece.
Thanks, Denise, for both comments.
I love Marianne’s reading of the piece, it adds so much, I think
the audio makes it real good job.
Thank you, sir.
If you follow the link to ‘Limbo’ there’s a terrific audio read by a Dutch friend
So the question on all our minds* she can eliminate the threat instantly. What possible diversions does our armed hausfrau have in mind for our …protagonist(really, the hero of the story?!!) lol
*the less-refined, more carnel** minded Readers
** in the purer sense of the word
There’s a purer sense to the word ‘carnal’?
And you think a wannabe axe killer is the hero?
Get back on your medication, man!
Seems he’s for the chop, not her!
Indeedy!
Oh my gosh, I watched/listened to the YouTube video…first of all, I’m awed!! The fine voices, the fine writing…and lastly, your signature endings never disappoint!
Thank you, Leslie, I love ‘Oh my gosh’!
Marianne is a Dutch friend, and I think her dark voice adds so much to the piece.
There’s lots more on my YouTube channel, y’know!
You’re a very easy man to please, my friend–you love my “oh my goodness-es and oh my gosh-es”!! Yes, indeed, Marianne’s voice added even more to your fabulous writing–the post was a gift to all of us. I didn’t know you have a YouTube channel…my tech skills are limited 🙂 Take care, have a much-blessed day!💖
Just follow this link, you’ll see lots of good stuff:
Thanks 🙂
The link says “expired”.
Strange, it works for me.
Try this:
Same result: “video isn’t available anymore”.
The lady’s retiring for the night now–must sleep 🙂
When you awake, refreshed and bright as a button or two, feel free to visit my About Page here, where you will find a link to my YouTube channel.
Failing that, can you please send me an email at the address on that page, because I’m confused and concerned that the links don’t work.
Thank you.
Okay, my dear–I’m awake but hardly bright as a button…it’s Monday, I’m old and tired and have a beastly headache. However the good news is that I successfully arrived at your About Page, and sailed to the further destination of your YouTube channel. I can’t promise I’ll visit there with great frequency, but at least I can get there now 🙂 I was surprised that you include your telephone number as well as your email address. Don’t you get swamped by eager folks wanting to call or write to you? Particularly the “lonely hearts”?? Having had some negative experiences in the past, I tell anyone who wants to chat with me, “that’s what the comment boxes are for” 🙂 I don’t mean to sound hard-hearted–in truth, I’m too vulnerable, so I have to set boundaries. There are many wounded/hurting folks among bloggers, and I try my best to encourage them via post comments. Alright-y then, I’m off to tackle the day’s priorities–shall see you later on! Have a blessed day 🙂
PS: the thing that showed up when you previously tried to send me the YouTube link, was not a link–but rather a gray thing shaped somewhat like a brick, and upon clicking that, I received the message about the video no longer being available. I’m not sufficiently tech-savvy to explain better, or know what that means–but the link on your About Page is the one you should probably send readers to, lest they get lost on the journey.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts again. It seems that WP does something to links in comments, so don’t fret about that any more. As for my contact details, they’re there so Mr Tarantino can find me when he needs me. Other folk don’t bother me, I’m pretty relaxed. Enjoy your day and, hopefully, my YouTube channel.
Mr Tarantino, as in Q?!!! I was going to try to describe the gray “thing” that showed up instead of a proper link–but I don’t know if you’re in contact with youngsters: there’s a popular toy (for decades) here called Legos…that kids build all manner of things with. I’d send you a Lego link–but that might be laughably unhelpful! Have a wonderful day, my fine poet friend!
Yes, Q. I hear he makes movies.
I figured you meant him 🙂
Oh goodness…more blood-letting 🙂 Perhaps you could use a large spoonful of honey in your diet 🙂
Nah, I’m really a sweetheart in between murders!
Yes, I’ve gathered that😊
That housewife is more deadly than the guy with the axe.
Yep, a shotgun trumps an axe every time!
As we would say in Aus, grouse story, mate. And he can’t complain, he was axing for it.
Another groan, me old mucker!
Never bring an axe to a gunfight. [No wonder she felt at ease. lol]
Sound advice, Susan!
The humour in the horrific – wonderful.
It’s expertly constructed too.
You manage to show their character in only 6 sentences of cleverly chosen words, and I end up feeling sorry for an axe murderer… You have the gift.
(PS ‘Limbo’ is a sheer delight.)
Sorry for the axe murderer?
You are not a well woman, Jenne!
And thanks, I love Marianne’s reading of Limbo, quite superb.
How good.
Never count your chickens even those killers 😁
Laughing.
Thanks, Trish
Hi Trish, thanks for visiting my YouTube channel and commenting there.
Yes, we are working on the creation of a book of The Turtle, because I believe Carolina’s artwork is far too good not to be available to children at bedtime.
I’ll probably mention it here when it happens!