Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s story is based on a conversation I had recently with Portuguese Tony, who seemed to catch the imagination of several readers last week.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© J Hardy Carroll
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Curtains
The room itself seems much drabber now.
I remember how we both smiled when she hung those curtains.
They had flowers on them.
Big, pink flowers with huge green leaves, they brightened our lives.
She seemed happy back then.
She loved that room, was always dancing in there.
She’d sing when she came out of the shower, when she was getting ready to go out.
She had a zest for life and she brought sunshine to mine.
I miss those days.
The heavy blinds close the room like a prison.
All because she saw the sunlight glint off my binoculars.
Very good, you perv. 🙂
Every boy needs a hobby, Mick!
A suitably creepy twist, though as others have said, I didn’t see it coming. Lovely scene you create on the build up to that finale though, that carefree girl and her happier days – spot on imagery. And what have I told you about hanging around with that Tony – he’s going to get you into trouble one day 🙂
Thank you for your kind words, Lynn, and for caring.
But my mention of ‘that Tony’ in the intro was, I have to confess, just another misdirection.
Haha! Cheeky you 🙂 My total pleasure C
LOL
Are you off your medication again, Dawn?
I’m easily amused.
And adorable
Great ending. Didn’t see that coming.
As my strap line says, Shirley, ‘where nothing is quite what it seems’.
Happy you enjoyed.
Very nice last line, you misled me right the way through!
One tries, sir, one tries!
Ha! Loved this. What a surprise ending.
Thank you, Margaret, very happy you enjoyed it
Now that was unexpected…because I was expecting her to go flying out the window. Well done. 🙂
In my admittedly limited experience of ladies, Sascha, I have met very few who can fly.
Always glad to misdirect you.
Not even on broomsticks?
Laughing.
Now, now, Sascha, I think you are trying to put words in my mouth!
Me? I’m sure you have plenty of your own. haha.
That was a clever twist. Wasn’t expecting the person to be peeping out the window. Wonderfully paced and written.
Thank you, Lisa, happy you enjoyed.
I was not expecting that twist! Nice.
Thank you, Corina
A peeping tom of the first order. Great reveal at the end!
I am now wondering how many orders of Peeping Toms there are!
Good question!
That last line was a great laugh and so unexpected. I expected murder and mayhem, got romance and then… Excellent twist.
I try not to be too predictable, Gabriele.
Always happy to make you laugh
You always surprise with the ending. This time I laughed. A sad end for Mr. peeping Tom.
I do try, Indira.
Laughing is good!
🙂
What a telling last line.
Cheers, Michael
Oh, you turned a seemingly delightful romance on its ear. Beautifully done.
Ah yes, this romance was embarrassingly one-sided. Thank you.
Sad turned to creepy in a flash (of sunlight)! Nice one!
Caught in the act!
Good one, love the reality of the last line… good twist!
Thank you, Jelli, glad it worked for you
Until the last line, who could have known?
Only the writer, I hope
Nice job. Happy Friday.
Thanks. Bon weekend.
You were peeping with your binoculars! You took away freedom of a person.
I was. I did.
Bad boy!
Creepily clever!
That works for me!
😀
Oho! A Peeping Tom! Beautiful twist totally not expecting it 🙂
Oho! Yes! Happy to surprise 🙂
Oh… the picture is excellent to describe a stalker… 🙂
Thanks, Bjorn
Why was he peeping, so? I asked myself as I listened. How does one record a piece and post it to WordPress?
Encore une petite pépite , comme dans un film !
Tu vois ce que je veux dire ??
Merci, Corine. Je crée la scène et c’est au lecteur de faire le film.
The twist was masterfully done! I love it!
Thank you, Brenda, very kind, as always!
I certainly didn’t see that coming! Brilliant.
Cheers, Keith
Guess his Peeping Tom days are over with that window.
Shalom,
Rochelle
It does appear so, m’lady
I have to agree–that twist made me gasp. And laugh! He’s busted.
A gasp and a laugh, it’s all good!
Super twist, CE. I read it several times to savour the writing!
Oh Penny, if you knew what pleasure I get from a comment like yours!
Thank you.
Wow! What a great twist – so unexpected. Brilliantly done.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you, Susan, I live for comments like this.
Aha, wonderful twist – I’m assuming it was Portuguese Tony with the binoculars.
Laughing.
No, I just started the misdirection early this week!
Busted!
Exactly!
I was waiting with baited breath for the other shoe to drop, as they say. And it did. I wasn’t expecting that. Lovely piece of misdirection.
Laughing.
Happy to keep you guessing.
A cleverly-wrought twist!
Thanks, Neil!