Curtains – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s story is based on a conversation I had recently with Portuguese Tony, who seemed to catch the imagination of several readers last week.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.

© J Hardy Carroll

Click here to hear the writer read his words:

Curtains

The room itself seems much drabber now.
I remember how we both smiled when she hung those curtains.
They had flowers on them.
Big, pink flowers with huge green leaves, they brightened our lives.
She seemed happy back then.
She loved that room, was always dancing in there.
She’d sing when she came out of the shower, when she was getting ready to go out.
She had a zest for life and she brought sunshine to mine.
I miss those days.
The heavy blinds close the room like a prison.
All because she saw the sunlight glint off my binoculars.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered Paradise in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte d'Azur, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random.
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77 Responses to Curtains – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Very good, you perv. 🙂

    Like

  2. Lynn Love says:

    A suitably creepy twist, though as others have said, I didn’t see it coming. Lovely scene you create on the build up to that finale though, that carefree girl and her happier days – spot on imagery. And what have I told you about hanging around with that Tony – he’s going to get you into trouble one day 🙂

    Like

  3. Great ending. Didn’t see that coming.

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  4. Very nice last line, you misled me right the way through!

    Like

  5. Margaret says:

    Ha! Loved this. What a surprise ending.

    Like

  6. Now that was unexpected…because I was expecting her to go flying out the window. Well done. 🙂

    Like

  7. lisarey1990 says:

    That was a clever twist. Wasn’t expecting the person to be peeping out the window. Wonderfully paced and written.

    Like

  8. Corina says:

    I was not expecting that twist! Nice.

    Like

  9. 4963andypop says:

    A peeping tom of the first order. Great reveal at the end!

    Like

  10. gahlearner says:

    That last line was a great laugh and so unexpected. I expected murder and mayhem, got romance and then… Excellent twist.

    Like

  11. Indira says:

    You always surprise with the ending. This time I laughed. A sad end for Mr. peeping Tom.

    Like

  12. michael1148humphris says:

    What a telling last line.

    Like

  13. Oh, you turned a seemingly delightful romance on its ear. Beautifully done.

    Like

  14. draliman says:

    Sad turned to creepy in a flash (of sunlight)! Nice one!

    Like

  15. Jelli says:

    Good one, love the reality of the last line… good twist!

    Like

  16. Until the last line, who could have known?

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  17. Nice job. Happy Friday.

    Like

  18. Abhijit Ray says:

    You were peeping with your binoculars! You took away freedom of a person.

    Like

  19. granonine says:

    Oho! A Peeping Tom! Beautiful twist totally not expecting it 🙂

    Like

  20. Oh… the picture is excellent to describe a stalker… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Corine Gouy says:

    Encore une petite pépite , comme dans un film !
    Tu vois ce que je veux dire ??

    Like

  22. The twist was masterfully done! I love it!

    Like

  23. I certainly didn’t see that coming! Brilliant.

    Like

  24. Guess his Peeping Tom days are over with that window.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  25. k rawson says:

    I have to agree–that twist made me gasp. And laugh! He’s busted.

    Like

  26. pennygadd51 says:

    Super twist, CE. I read it several times to savour the writing!

    Like

  27. Wow! What a great twist – so unexpected. Brilliantly done.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

    Like

  28. Iain Kelly says:

    Aha, wonderful twist – I’m assuming it was Portuguese Tony with the binoculars.

    Like

  29. Sandra says:

    I was waiting with baited breath for the other shoe to drop, as they say. And it did. I wasn’t expecting that. Lovely piece of misdirection.

    Like

  30. neilmacdon says:

    A cleverly-wrought twist!

    Like

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