Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s prompt by Erin Leary is a beautifully serene view of tranquil waters.
It took me to a very unusual place in my head.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture, below.
Copyright Erin Leary
Love Letter
You know that, for me, it was love at first sight.
You remember all the good times, every day trip, every town, every lake, every beach, we ever visited.
You remember when we saw the fish dancing, and the eagles singing, and the beaver gnawing on the branch.
You remember the names of people I introduced you to a year ago in the little café in the square.
You remember that I asked you to marry me.
I know this, because you forget nothing.
Do you really have so much love in your life that you can discard mine so casually?
We all walk around carrying so much inside. This is a peek inside and it was really well done.
Thank you, Erin.
And sorry I missed your comment earlier.
The change in the emotional tone was done so skilfully. Very well done indeed.
Very glad it worked for you.
And always a pleasure to see you here.
Now that taps a nerve.
I am truly sorry to hear that, Joseph.
I wish you well.
Thank you.
Such a sense of loss and distance, here C. E. Lots of emotional depth.
Ah yes, dear Dawn, loss and distance sums it up very well.
Thank you for your thoughts.
An interesting take on the photo, and a lovely tale…til that last line. Well done as always. Wonder if they got back together?
Thank you, Samantha.
No, they didn’t.
Love … is it painful or is it wondrous? Ahhh … to love and be loved in returned … or maybe, not.
I believe there’s a Ying and Yang going on in your story. And … one could say love is a many
splendid thing … or … NOT !!!! Very thought provoking, Ceayr.
Isadora 😎
I have no answers to your questions, my dear Izzy.
But I am happy to see you here, thinking and sharing.
Your poetry and stories always make me want to know more.
It’s your superb writing. It’s been a pleasure joining the FF so
I could find your blog.
Toodles,
Isadora 😎
I am rarely lost for words, Isadora, but this is just such a time.
I am quite moved by such high praise.
Thank you seems inadequate.
I am very happy that my writing gives such pleasure.
Every word is sincere … I hope to absorb some of your genius. (if you don’t mind – that is 😁)
This is quite a departure, a different road. Mayhem of the heart. I am still pondering its many implications.
As am I, I confess.
Thank you for taking the time to ponder, and to write.
Aww, this beautiful sad piece. 🙁
Ah well, we all have our ups and downs…
I couldn’t agree more…
Oof, that last line. I love that you phrased it as a question and used the second-person point of view. That last line does to the reader because of the way. Personally, I was taken aback (in a good way) and really mulled over that question in relation to my life. Really well done.
If my 100 word story prompts you to ponder your own life, then my job is done.
Thank you for taking the time to share that with me.
You’ve been quite sentimental lately. I like it but I’m always wondering what happens next. “Will he kill her and bury her in the swamp?” Your writing keeps me guessing.
Tracey@WWW.WhatsForDinnerDoc.Com
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The first draft had Nessie biting off her head, but I believe Scottish monsters are all now vegetarians.
It isn’t easy being me, you know.
Reading this after Sandra’s story “Lily’s Pond”, it seems that you MC is better off pining for unrequited love rather than be fish food in the Lily pond.
Nicely written.
I am flattered to be in the same comment as Sandra.
Thank you.
So sad for the narrator. Well written to convey his/her emotions.
Sadness is part of life, for most of us.
Thank you for visiting, and for being so kind.
I had to read it twice, and am still not certain. To me, the line, “I know this because you forget nothing” is significant. Sometimes we don’t (want to) see the bad memories. Seeing the same things also doesn’t necessarily mean feeling the same things. It’s always sad when dreams are shattered. Interesting that the title is ‘love letter’. This could easily turn into something not sweet. I’m probably reading far too much into it, great story-bite as always.
GaH, I adore you.
Your comment is almost as long as my story, and probably contains even more emotional turmoil.
I love it when an intelligent reader gets so involved, it makes everything worthwhile.
Especially this week, when I got way out of my safety zone.
Thank you.
I have to say that the end caught me by surprise… so skillfully you made a response to a dear John letter… (which I guess ended: It’s not you, it’s me, I hope we can still be friends).
Sounds like you, Bjorn, like most of us, have been at one or other end of this at some time.
I appreciate your kind words, thank you.
Sad and surprising, but true to life. What is so special to one is just another day to another. And yet better she tell him now. Well written, as usual.
Thanks, Perry, life can be full of surprises, can’t it,
So sad. They’ve obviously shared so many intimate and beautiful moments. What a blow to have them all mean nothing to the other person. Wonderful structure in your story, and the repetition is very good.
Thank you, Margaret, glad the structure and repetition worked for you,
I was on unfamiliar ground here!
Very emotional and so sad for him. Maybe he loved her so much it clouded the fact that she really did not feel the same way about him. I wasn’t prepared for the ending of this story. Well written.
Wow, thank you, JC, very thoughtful comments.
Powerful and sad and real. I like how the idea of “you remember” shifts so subtly from sweet to almost an accusation with the last two lines.
I am pleased you picked up on that, Joy.
Thank you for your thoughtful words.
You remember when we saw the fish dancing ~ love this line
You build what seems to be a lifetime of love into a few lines, then smash the idea so completely.
Yes, I liked it too, and that part is true!
I think that love often feels like a lifetime after a surprisingly short time.
Oh dear, hopefully this isn’t autobiographical.
I have just taken an overdose of painkillers, hanged and stabbed myself, and I plan to throw myself out of this sixth floor window in front of a bus.
But no, of course not.
Sometimes love is one sided. Maybe she didn’t realize the importance of what was happening for him. But then maybe she is just callous. Hard to say. Great job as always!
Thank you, Mandibelle.
And yes, relationships are often imbalanced, like the individuals themselves!
I wonder if it he who has the memories; perhaps she noticed nothing.
And yet forgets nothing?
Perhaps.
What a great last line. The others lead up to it majestically. Great story.
Thank you, mon ami, very kind words.
This is the sort of behaviour I’d expect from Graham.
The last line is one I have uttered myself. Heartbreaking and well done.
I do hope you got over it, sir, at least enough to breathe again.
Indeed I have. 🙂
A lover scorned….it can be a very dangerous thing. Hope his letter was strictly therapeutic. Intense story, my friend.
Thank you, glad you found it so, it is a bit outwith my normal compass.
Nothing worse than unrequited love… Lots of emotion in there!
Better to have loved and lost?
Hmm, never an easy answer to that.
No, there is not. But at least it is living!
A change from your usual genre, but a very strong and plaintive voice in this. Really good job. And the answer is … none of us do.
Thank you, Sandra, and you are right, of course.
And yet…
Dear CE,
Uplifting and sweet…until the end. I feel very sad for him and a little angry at her. Good job of evoking so much emotion in few words.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Sometimes the most brutal tales have no violence in them.
Mental pain is the worst, don’t you think?
I do indeed agree. With mental pain, the wounds don’t show and a doctor can’t stitch them up. Nonetheless, they bleed and ache.