AnElephantCant write a wee rhyme here
He is struggling a bit with research
It is not that he’s slow
But he does need to know
Whether that is a kirk or a church
Once again it is Friday Fictioneer time.
Presented weekly by the delightful Rochelle, this is collection of short stories from one or two chaps and chapesses of talent.
And one from AnElephant.
Oh well.
The idea is to write a very short story, circa 100 words, based on this picture prompt (below).
That’s it.
Copyright Clare Fuller
The Church
She hasn’t seen him for years and is really looking forward to it.
They spent twenty years together, raised two children.
One of whom couldn’t be bothered to make the trip today.
But their daughter is with her, although perhaps not quite so exuberant.
Still, she feels good, hopes she looks good, wants to be at her best for the big moment.
Her legs are elegantly crossed in her tailored suit and expensive high heels.
She chats happily to the people around her.
She stands and smooths her skirt before stepping forward.
Then she smiles radiantly into the open coffin.
I love this piece. That is all
AnElephant loves this comment.
That is enough.
Nicely done! I read to the end, then read the first line again–she was really looking forward to it. I always enjoy your poems, too.
So glad you liked it, Patti.
As for the poems, well, they are kinda just what AnElephant does!
Thank you for your time and kind words.
Love the line about the legs. There was something about them being ‘elegantly crossed’ that pointed me to the denouement. And that smile, if only we knew more about what she’d been through. Somehow I don’t feel her poor deceased ex was wholly to blame for the failure of their relationship.
Aren’t you just so sweet!
Actually her deceased was probably not the nicest chap you’d ever meet.
But AnElephant is always thrilled when someone picks up on the little clues he likes to sprinkle around.
She seems a little too happy to be seeing her ex husband dead.
On second thought….;)
There is just no pleasing some folks, Dawn, until the very last minute!
Sad, but I have to say I thought something like that was coming. Nevertheless, still had impact. Good job!
AnElephantCant help being predictable.
Perhaps next time the twist will be that there is no twist?
I didn’t see that one coming either — and I love how well you managed to surprise me! Nicely, nicely done, especially that last image of her beaming cheerfully into his coffin. What a reunion!
Thank you, Jacey, very happy you enjoyed the wee twist.
AnElephant tries to paint a happy picture!
Damn, that’s cold. One non-exuberant child and one no show? What does a mother have to do to share her happiness, cut ’em in for half? You totally surprised me on this one. Superb!!
Ah well, you can please some of the people some of the time …..
Thank you, very glad you enjoyed it.
Wow, let my guard down there, thought it was all cosy and nice and then.. Bam! Ghoulishly done. 🙂
Hooray! AnElephant is always happy to mislead his reader!
Thank you for taking the time to visit and to comment.
Very well told tale, especially for an elephant. Who knew you could be so elegant as well as eloquent?
Erm, nobody, he guesses.
But AnElephant tries to be creative in many different ways, not always successfully!
definitely wasn’t expecting that ending! Nice job
AnElephant does enjoy misdirection!
And a pretty lady with compliments.
Thank you for your visit and for saying nice things.
Great twist, and also the layers – the fact that one child couldn’t be bothered to make the trip is rather telling.
Thank you for noticing the asides, AnElephant always thinks that they are what make a short story credible.
Very clever. I would quite like to attend a funeral with a light heart…
And dancing shoes, apparently!
Thank you for commenting.
Dear Elephant,
I suspect she’s smiling because she’s still his beneficiary. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Oh, Rochelle, how very mercenary of you!
Maybe she just had good reason to dislike him?
Or it could be both 😉 Hated him. Loved his money.
Dear AEC,
Another good story from you. Very telling piece. Well written and subtly layered. Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks, Doug, glad you picked up on the little bits, makes it all worthwhile!
Cheers
Well done Sir elephant. Had me guessing.
AnElephantCan trick an Aussie!
He is very happy now!
Be positive, I always say. The image of the ex-wife smiling radiantly into the coffin will stay with me, I feel.
Hmm, perhaps this was a bit close to home, Sandra?
Thank you for taking the time to drop by and comment.
Hi ElephantCant! Nice writing — very nice! More details would be great. Why does she smile?
Sorry, Brenda, only allowed 100 words or Rochelle beats AnElephant with a wet lettuce leaf.
But perhaps she just wasn’t too fond of him, hmm?
Glad you liked it and thanks for visiting.
Did you bring peanuts?
I brought peanuts, but the fairies ate them. 🙂
You are so kind!
And they are greedy little minxes!
Saw that one coming – like a train!
Ouch! 🙂
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/friday-fictioneers-ff-dispelling-the-evening-rated-r-8222013-horrorsuspense/
Look out!
Maybe AnElephant should carry a health warning!
lol yes!
Good one! Very unexpected, and wickedly funny.
Thank you, Jan, AnElephant is delighted to have entertained!
What an ending!
Good riddance or bad children?
Ah, RoSy, there are seldom bad children.
But glad you liked it.
It sounds like the funeral is one of the best days of her life.
Well, it is nice to have a happy ending at least once in a lifetime!
Smiling radiantly into the coffin??? Yikes! Even if I hated someone, I’m not sure I could smile radiantly into their coffin, but I’m not in this story! 🙂
Perhaps you just have a sweeter nature or a nicer husband?
Thank you for your comment.
I do have a nicer husband, that’s for sure. Hope you are having a sweet day, Anelephantcant! I have just the thing to cheer you up if you are having a bad day. SPANKIES! You’ll have to try the combination of Twinkies and Spam. THAT should put a smile on anyone’s face! 🙂
Trés drole!
Merci, Madame, UnElephant est content.
I would say I wasn’t expecting that, but this was you, so I figured it would be something like that 🙂 That’s not a bad thing. I mean that I figured it would have a brilliant twist to it,.
Another great story my friend
Thanks, Al, AnElephant kinda got what you meant!
With you I expect the unexpected 🙂
Wow. Tu me surprends encore. Je ne m’y attendais pas du tout.
Nicely crafted as usual.
Merci, cherie.
Mais tu est toujours étonnée!
Elephant, that was a clever take. I hope the narrator can come back to haunt her.
Tack så mycket
Björn
Oh, c’mon, Bjorn, maybe she is due a chuckle at his expense!
Thanks for your visit
What ??? Didn’t expect that. 🙂
Aha! Gotcha! AnElephant is smiling now!
Wasn’t expecting that – at all. Fantastic writing. Clever.
AnElephant likes a twist in his curly tale!
Thanks for dropping in.