Unshuttered – Unicorn Challenge

Copyright Ayr/Gray

The Unicorn Challenge.

A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.

To hear me read my story, just click here:

Unshuttered

It’s only now that I notice that not all the windows have their shutters closed.
How did I miss that before?
Or have they just been opened?
I curse under my breath, wiping my hands on my black denims.
The light is poor, how much could be seen from up there?
And who, if anyone, is behind the glass?
Do I need to find out, maybe take steps?
I don’t know this part of town too well, don’t know if these buildings are still businesses or if they’re part of the urban renewal that’s all the rage these days.
An eighteenth century mill for extracting the oil from olives?
I guess that could still be a viable functioning concern.
But wait, is that a movement at the window?
Hell, it is, and it looks like a child.
A shiny cherubic face, young and round, is gazing down at me, eyes wide.
It can’t be alone there, it must have parents.
But what did it see, what did they see?
I look over my shoulder at the tarpaulin.
There’s no way to tell that it covers a body.
And, unless they have the technology to lift fingerprints from a dead throat, no way to tell that I was involved in its demise.
But…
I look up at the window again, and lift my hand in a half wave.
A small hand returns the gesture.
I sigh, and move reluctantly towards the brown door.

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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14 Responses to Unshuttered – Unicorn Challenge

  1. Are you sure you didn’t mistake that little cherub under the top left window for a real child? Whatever, I’ll keep quiet about your corpse if you keep quiet about mine!

    Like

  2. Chris Hall says:

    Was it a real child? Or maybe something ghostly. I wonder…
    Excellent, CE!

    Like

  3. Excellent story that grabbed my attention from the beginning with the open window and held on tightly until I felt the breath kicked out of me when I realized there is a child involved and I can hear the chilling unspoken message: “Leave no witnesses”.

    Bravo, CE.

    Like

  4. clark says:

    And a first-class showing of the jaded assassin” (jenne)

    aiyyee! a behemoth* made small! (my initial impulse after my second reading) was to comment to the effect, that writers in some parts of the world are favored in word-counts by their metric system. such is the fullness of the scene. and, as I read the comments I get a glimpse of how, in the setting of a scene, adverbs can properly deployed can be more valuable than adjectives.

    once again, the primary benefit of participating in a bloghop often sits quietly in the Comment section.

    *the behemoth being ‘show-not-tell’ which, if the truth be told, I avoid as much as I tilt at.

     

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    • ceayr says:

      Okay, Clark, I get that you liked some bits of this but:

      1. favored in word-counts by their metric system – eh?
      2. you avoid show not tell?

      Or am I (not for the first time) just misunderstanding your words?

      Like

  5. jenne49 says:

    A masterclass in creating and maintaining tension: starting in the middle of the event, the build-up of questions, not just ‘denims, but ‘black denims’…
    A wee rest in the middle to think about a viable or not business before – wham! – the tension starts again.
    And a first-class showing of the jaded assassin – that final line that says so much about him.
    ‘I sigh, and move reluctantly towards the brown door..’
    Just two words: ‘sigh’ and ‘reluctantly’.
    I’m left wondering a whole book about how he got where he is, how he copes, in the wee dark hours, with these stirrings still of humanity…
    Excellent story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      I guess he copes (or doesn’t) just like the rest of us, Jenne.

      We all have our ghosts, regrets and fears, don’t we?

      Thanks for kind words.

      Like

  6. R.M. Carlson says:

    The child was unexpected! Great tension in the story!

    Like

  7. Margaret says:

    Oh no. Not a child. I wasn’t expecting that. I started to think we were in a supernatural scene here, and I think I’m going to hold onto that idea. Send that MC into a haunted house (mill) and see how he fares. Great atmosphere.

    Like

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