The Steps – Unicorn Challenge

Copyright Ayr/Gray

The Unicorn Challenge.

A magical new weekly writing opportunity from her – Jenne Gray – and me.
Visit her blog every Friday to see the photo prompt, and post your amazing story in her comments section.
Or on your own blog, and stick the link down in her comments.
The rules are:
Maximum of 250 words.
Based on photo prompt.
That’s it.

To hear me read my story, just click here:

The Steps

Halfway up the steps I stop.
And sigh.
I can remember when I use to bound up here two at a time, while you danced ahead, summer dress swirling around slender thighs.
Of course we were young then, and in love.
Now, thirty years later, I love you even more.
My eyes mist slightly as I remember walking hand in hand along the little woodland path at the top that led us to the secluded glade, where we lay for hours in each other’s arms.
We haven’t done that since our eldest was born.
Nowadays we don’t seem to spend much time alone, just the two of us.
I guess that Bill has been with us a lot since he lost his wife last year.
I was surprised when he said he couldn’t meet me today.
We always get together on Wednesday, when you go to the market.
I sigh again.
I can read the tracks in the sodden leaves as if they were printed in large letters.
I recognise Bill’s hiking boots.
And your much daintier pumps.
My heart is as heavy as the weapon in my pocket.
I reach the clearing, our special place, and see a blanket spread out there.
There are plates of sandwiches, scones and cakes, and an ice bucket containing a fancy bottle.
I move forward quietly, searching for you.
‘Surprise! Happy Birthday!’
There you are, you and Bill, laughing, delighted.
And then staring in confusion and horror at the gun in my hand.



About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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20 Responses to The Steps – Unicorn Challenge

  1. Sally says:

    Oh. My. You got me good.

    It’s a good story when there’s a surprise like that. It’s a great story when you can look back and see all the clues that were there all along. Great job.

    Like

  2. Margaret says:

    Oh, that sigh right at the midpoint of the stairs. So easy to read simply ‘nostalgia’ into that – the glory of young love and all. And so it goes as we reminisce with your narrator about all the happy times.

    Bill introduces a slightly sour note from his first mention – although I appreciate your MC’s kindness towards his poor, bereaved friend. I’m feeling all warm admiration for him – sacrificing his precious time alone with his wife.

    Then those double shoeprints! And I’m saying ‘uh-oh’, and ‘oh no’ as the truth dawns. And on her birthday!!!!

    Masterfully built, CE.

    Like

  3. Liz H-H says:

    And just when we’re sure of a brutal, bloody end, we realize that yes indeed, things COULD get worse. Kinda bloody brilliant, C.E.

    Like

  4. Chris Hall says:

    Wow. I didn’t expect that. Excellent, CE!

    Like

  5. clark says:

    love that shit!*

    *the come-hither charm of a story about people we can relate to, only to find the monster has never left it’s lair under the bed.

    Like

  6. Premature withdrawal.
    Superb double twist ending.

    Like

  7. jenne49 says:

    Ooh, the signs are there as the MC climbs.
    They tickle the back of the reader’s mind without intruding until…
    And then the whole story takes on a more sombre hue.
    Expertly done.

    Like

  8. R.M. Carlson says:

    A beautiful story until BOOM!

    Like

  9. Tessa says:

    Oh what a surprise ending. Loved it!

    Like

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