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the last time

I didn’t know
it was the last time
I’d ever hold your hand
or
I’d have clasped it longer
and more consciously
and treasured every touch

I didn’t know
it was the last time
I’d ever hear your laugh
or
I’d have tried harder
to be funny
to prolong the music

I didn’t know
it was the last time
I’d ever see your smile
or
I’d have done more
to please you
to bathe longer in its light

I didn’t know
it was the last time
I’d ever kiss your lips
or
I’d have wrapped you
more tightly in my arms
and savoured your sweet taste

I didn’t know
it was the last time
I’d ever smell autumn
in your hair
or
I’d have known
that winter
would be an eternity
of biting cold
and aching loneliness