otnoT – Six Sentence Story

Artwork by Phil Burns

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – INGREDIENT

Click here to hear the author read his words:

otnoT

He tells me that he was brought up by the Cherokee, his mother was half Comanche and half something else that he mumbles with his head turned away so I can’t hear, and that his father was ‘probably from some rubbish tribe across the other side of the mountains, or maybe the milkman’.

I tell him that I was born in Toonheid (Townhead to you posh folk), that my mum was from the Garngad (where they spell culture with a k) and my dad from the Calton (where, throughout recorded history, they have never found the need to ever spell culture), none of which has even a nodding acquaintanceship with the better districts of Glasgow.

I call him otnoT because, in the time I’ve known him, he has done so, oh so many things, that he ought not to have.

He calls me Kemo Sabe which, I’ve discovered, loosely translates as I-find-it-unbe-jolly-lievable-that-you-remain-as-yet-unscalped-you-numpty.

I explain to him about our Highland games, how we eat haggis, where no single ingredient is as important as the sauce, uisge beatha, which you call fire-water, play bagpipes and throw tree-trunks about the place while dancing around swords wearing kilts (us, that is, not the swords).

He scowls at me through his war-paint, pauses for a moment from paring his toenails with a tomahawk, and grumbles (in an impressive display of confused ethnicity) ‘Jings, crivvens and michty me, these palefaces call us savages…’

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30 Responses to otnoT – Six Sentence Story

  1. ladysighs says:

    I like the story for its wit and humor. But after the laughter ……

    To me it is a universal story. One could fill in the blanks with different people/nationalities/language etc. We all misunderstand others in some way. We can’t legislate to change our prejudices, but perhaps stories can help us rethink and understand them.

    Lovely Pair of Pajamas

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  2. Yes, a highly entertaining kultural exchange. Bravo.

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  3. Zelda Winter says:

    As soon as I clicked on your story I remembered how much I’d enjoyed yours from last week–so I was fully primed for another good one, and you did NOT disappoint, Sir!!

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  4. Kulture is in the eye of the beholder. Excellent story.

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  5. UP says:

    well it’s no longer morning, but i did apppreciate the chuckle! good six

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  6. clark says:

    (bright-yellow flicker of a convenience store lighter behind the where the patrons become indistinguishable from the dark of the Six Sentence Café and Bistro… eyes and ears directed towards the Wollensak sitting on a plain wooden chair on the small stage.)

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  7. Reena Saxena says:

    Imaginative character building of so-called savages 🙂

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  8. Always enjoy seeing a well-placed ‘jings’ or ‘crivvens’ in a story. I was scratching my head as to what the heck “otnoT” could mean… then came the ref to Lone Ranger, ah! (and in my head I heard: Hi ho Silver, away! or something like that).
    Excellent work CE. Big smile throughout 😁

    Like

  9. Chris Hall says:

    An admirable piece. I love a chuckle in the morning! 🙂

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  10. Absolutely excelled your self this week, you Franco-Scot, you. Laughed all the way through. Just one factual correction: as Gary Larsen’s ‘The Far Side’ advised some time ago, ‘kemo sabe’ as applied to the Lone Ranger is Comanche for ‘horse’s ass’.

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  11. Frank Hubeny says:

    I love your translation of “kemo sabe”: “I-find-it-unbe-jolly-lievable-that-you-remain-as-yet-unscalped-you-numpty”. Also using a tomahawk on one’s toenails.

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  12. jenne49 says:

    What a fun and, I’m fairly certain, unique kultural exchange. (Barrhead = the Garngad)
    otnoT is brilliant, as a name and a character.
    And yes, the whole colonial era summed up in the last sentence.
    As well as the solution to the missing part of his mother’s DNA?

    Like

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