Robbery – Six Sentence Story

Artwork by Phil Burns

This challenge is produced by GirlieOnTheEdge with the following simple rules:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word – EFFERVESCENT

Click here to hear the author read his words:

Robbery

Concerned that Ron, my usually ebullient younger brother is not his normal effervescent self, I decide to follow him.
Wearing a cap, sunglasses and a Covid mask he goes to the supermarket car park, nicks a mid-range Ford, and picks up three dubious-looking characters similarly attired.
He drives them to the High Street and pulls up outside a high end jewellery shop, where his colleagues shuffle out, look furtively around, then dive into the store waving guns.
I call 999, tell the forces of law and order that there is an armed robbery in progress.
Then I stroll to Ron’s vehicle and get into the passenger seat, grinning at his astonished expression.
Drive, I say.

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23 Responses to Robbery – Six Sentence Story

  1. Liz H says:

    No blood thicker than that between brothers. Delightful!

    Like

  2. Loved this, C.E. Lean and to the point, your “bare bones” Six tells us all we need to know.
    Ron’s lucky to have an older brother (with an excellent sense of humor) looking out for him.

    Like

    • ceayr says:

      Glad you enjoyed, Denise, I am loving this new challenge after years of 100-word stories at Rochelle’s excellent Friday Fictioneers.
      Totally different way to express thoughts, a welcome change, I’m glad it’s working for you and your readers too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Chris Hall says:

    Super six! Spot on storytelling without a word wasted.

    Like

  4. clark says:

    excellent scene/Six! energetic, draws us Readers right in and pulls us along to a fun twist on the ending… could totally ‘see it’*

    *highest of compliments in Sixville

    Like

  5. Pat Brockett says:

    Something tells me Ron will be feeling much more effervescent now that his big brother saved his neck.

    Like

  6. Frank Hubeny says:

    They are going to get caught. I like how he is looking out for his younger brother.

    Like

  7. Top shelf work, ceayr. A mini crime show episode in six sentences. Loved it.

    Like

  8. UP says:

    great writing. good use of the cue.

    Like

  9. jenne49 says:

    This is such a clear, fun piece of writing.
    You ‘stroll’ through the story with no extra words and give a full picture of the escapade and the character of the two bothers.
    Fabulous.

    Like

  10. Love it… a gem of a tale written so very well!

    Like

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