Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Brenda Cox.
Click here to hear the author read his words:
Lies
Police! I shout.
I am Detective Inspector Penman, we are not armed, we just have some questions, you are not in trouble.
Please, there is no point in hiding, we have the place surrounded.
I keep talking until he emerges, rather uncertainly, from behind a mountain of crates in the dark alleyway.
I lift my right hand in greeting as my left slides towards the back of my belt.
I wonder how many lies he will be able to count.
I am not a policeman.
I am alone.
I am armed.
I have no questions.
He is in fatal trouble.
Should have inspected him more closely. Chilling end.
Yeah well, too late now…
I like the smooth transition from the familiar cops’ patter to the killer’s credo. Chilling. Well done.
Thanks, Patience, I like ‘smooth’ and ‘chilling’!
Good one! So complete, compelling and fatal 🙂
Thanks, Trish, that’s a pretty great comment!
Brilliant, I no longer read yours, preferring to hear the narrative. Cracking tale!
Really, sir?
I am surprised and delighted that the readings work so well.
You’ve made my day!
If you weren’t naughty enough already, now you’ve started telling porkies!
C’mon, Keith, none of us are perfect!
True!
I don’t suppose he’ll get past “hey, wait a minute, you’re not a…” before he breathes his last 🙂
I don’t suppose so, Ali!
So, just. Wow. Excellent ending.
So, just. Wow. Excellent comment!
A very clever assassin. Great twist!
Thank you, Brenda
I think it was the pictured location made my mind fold your story towards the Philippines where vigilantes shoot down drug dealers.
A very menacing piece this week.
Sounds like a worthwhile hobby!
Thanks, James
A very scary scenario you’ve laid out for us this week.
One does one’s humble best, Bear!
Yikes, that’s pretty spooky!
Good spooky, I hope!
You bet! 😊
Ooooh… Intriguing.
I hope that guy realises that he’s in trouble and makes a run for it though.
Nah, Bernadette, his goose is cooked!
Too bad for him
Diabolical. What a surprise! 😉
Thank you, Susan, I love ‘diabolical’!
I wonder if people really fall for the cop thing. All I have to say is “Run Forrest, run!”
This one did.
And he hasn’t seen the movie!
You threw me off in the beginning, with the policeman trying to talk kindly. First solid clue was the left hand sliding slowly to his own back.
Misdirection is my middle name, Linda
So matter of fact. And so dark. I love it!
Just the facts, ma’am, just the facts!
This is deliciously evil.
I love ‘deliciously evil’!
Enjoyed this. A great set up, cleverly written and cleverly performed by the assassin.
Thanks, Dora, glad you enjoyed.
I don’t know about where you live, but here, impersonating an officer is a serious offense.
I’m sure that will prey on the narrator’s mind as he shoots the poor victim in the face!
Really well crafted. One of your best, for the precision of the menace. Fancy making your readers count the lies – what chutzpa!
Thanks, Penny.
The counting is an optional extra!
Mentir pour mieux tuer !
J’aime beaucoup cette histoire.
Bravo MONSIEUR
Merci, Madame, je sais que tu aimes bien les histoires sanglantes!
Not at all how I was expecting it to end. I thought the suspect/victim would be surrounded by patrol officers, knocked to the ground, and asphyxiated with someone’s knee. Oh right, you live somewhere other than the US.
As always, I am happy for you to create your own scenario based on your particular cultural (I use the word loosely) background!
Not sure I’d trust the police in this scenario either, but it sounds like this guy is in trouble whether he knows it or not.
I found the switch from speech to narrative tripped me up, but then I’m a stickler for old-fashioned punctuation!
I know that my short, sharp, frill-free writing is not to everyone’s taste, Jen, but, as Shakespeare said, you can please some of the people some of the time…
Thanks, as always, for stopping by.
Absolutely. My attitude is “iwant critique so I give critique” “. I have no expectation that anyone else follows it and I certainly don’t want anyone else to feel criticized.
The old ‘I’m a policeman’ gag. Nicely done!
Still works, apparently!
Thanks, Mason
It’ll always work so long as we have police. THe authority and fear they hold means anyone thinking a person a police officer will likely do as they say.
Can’t trust the police these days, fake or real! Great story CE.
Rather cynical, old bean!
Thanks, Iain
Dear CE,
Uh oh. Inspector indeed. Sinisterly well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Gosh, m’lady, a killer who tells fibs!
Whatever next?
That’s a lot of lies for one quick story. Well done.
Just packed them in, Anne!
I knew I could count on you for a murder. Deft and sinister as always
Thanks, Neil, I wouldn’t let you down!
Inspector Penman, don’t do it, you will regret
No Inspector, no regrets!
Loved those five lines at the end, and the image of the hand snaking towards the back of his belt. Very menacing, you do this so well.
Glowing with pleasure at your words, Sandra!