Lies – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Brenda Cox.

Click here to hear the author read his words:

Lies

Police! I shout.
I am Detective Inspector Penman, we are not armed, we just have some questions, you are not in trouble.
Please, there is no point in hiding, we have the place surrounded.
I keep talking until he emerges, rather uncertainly, from behind a mountain of crates in the dark alleyway.
I lift my right hand in greeting as my left slides towards the back of my belt.
I wonder how many lies he will be able to count.
I am not a policeman.
I am alone.
I am armed.
I have no questions.
He is in fatal trouble.

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65 Responses to Lies – Friday Fictioneers

  1. subroto says:

    Should have inspected him more closely. Chilling end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the smooth transition from the familiar cops’ patter to the killer’s credo. Chilling. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trishsplace says:

    Good one! So complete, compelling and fatal 🙂

    Like

  4. Brilliant, I no longer read yours, preferring to hear the narrative. Cracking tale!

    Like

  5. If you weren’t naughty enough already, now you’ve started telling porkies!

    Like

  6. draliman says:

    I don’t suppose he’ll get past “hey, wait a minute, you’re not a…” before he breathes his last 🙂

    Like

  7. So, just. Wow. Excellent ending.

    Like

  8. A very clever assassin. Great twist!

    Like

  9. James McEwan says:

    I think it was the pictured location made my mind fold your story towards the Philippines where vigilantes shoot down drug dealers.
    A very menacing piece this week.

    Like

  10. Bear says:

    A very scary scenario you’ve laid out for us this week.

    Like

  11. earthskyair says:

    Yikes, that’s pretty spooky!

    Like

  12. Ooooh… Intriguing.
    I hope that guy realises that he’s in trouble and makes a run for it though.

    Like

  13. Diabolical. What a surprise! 😉

    Like

  14. Tannille says:

    I wonder if people really fall for the cop thing. All I have to say is “Run Forrest, run!”

    Like

  15. granonine says:

    You threw me off in the beginning, with the policeman trying to talk kindly. First solid clue was the left hand sliding slowly to his own back.

    Like

  16. jenne49 says:

    So matter of fact. And so dark. I love it!

    Like

  17. GHLearner says:

    This is deliciously evil.

    Like

  18. Dora says:

    Enjoyed this. A great set up, cleverly written and cleverly performed by the assassin.

    Like

  19. Nobbinmaug says:

    I don’t know about where you live, but here, impersonating an officer is a serious offense.

    Like

  20. pennygadd51 says:

    Really well crafted. One of your best, for the precision of the menace. Fancy making your readers count the lies – what chutzpa!

    Like

  21. Corine Gouy says:

    Mentir pour mieux tuer !
    J’aime beaucoup cette histoire.
    Bravo MONSIEUR

    Liked by 1 person

  22. msjadeli says:

    Not at all how I was expecting it to end. I thought the suspect/victim would be surrounded by patrol officers, knocked to the ground, and asphyxiated with someone’s knee. Oh right, you live somewhere other than the US.

    Like

  23. elmowrites says:

    Not sure I’d trust the police in this scenario either, but it sounds like this guy is in trouble whether he knows it or not.
    I found the switch from speech to narrative tripped me up, but then I’m a stickler for old-fashioned punctuation!

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      I know that my short, sharp, frill-free writing is not to everyone’s taste, Jen, but, as Shakespeare said, you can please some of the people some of the time…
      Thanks, as always, for stopping by.

      Like

      • elmowrites says:

        Absolutely. My attitude is “iwant critique so I give critique” “. I have no expectation that anyone else follows it and I certainly don’t want anyone else to feel criticized.

        Like

  24. The old ‘I’m a policeman’ gag. Nicely done!

    Like

  25. Iain Kelly says:

    Can’t trust the police these days, fake or real! Great story CE.

    Like

  26. Dear CE,

    Uh oh. Inspector indeed. Sinisterly well written.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Like

  27. ahtdoucette says:

    That’s a lot of lies for one quick story. Well done.

    Like

  28. neilmacdon says:

    I knew I could count on you for a murder. Deft and sinister as always

    Like

  29. Michael says:

    Inspector Penman, don’t do it, you will regret

    Like

  30. Sandra says:

    Loved those five lines at the end, and the image of the hand snaking towards the back of his belt. Very menacing, you do this so well.

    Like

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