Lies – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Brenda Cox.

Click here to hear the author read his words:


Police! I shout.
I am Detective Inspector Penman, we are not armed, we just have some questions, you are not in trouble.
Please, there is no point in hiding, we have the place surrounded.
I keep talking until he emerges, rather uncertainly, from behind a mountain of crates in the dark alleyway.
I lift my right hand in greeting as my left slides towards the back of my belt.
I wonder how many lies he will be able to count.
I am not a policeman.
I am alone.
I am armed.
I have no questions.
He is in fatal trouble.

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65 Responses to Lies – Friday Fictioneers

  1. subroto says:

    Should have inspected him more closely. Chilling end.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like the smooth transition from the familiar cops’ patter to the killer’s credo. Chilling. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. trishsplace says:

    Good one! So complete, compelling and fatal 🙂


  4. Brilliant, I no longer read yours, preferring to hear the narrative. Cracking tale!


  5. If you weren’t naughty enough already, now you’ve started telling porkies!


  6. draliman says:

    I don’t suppose he’ll get past “hey, wait a minute, you’re not a…” before he breathes his last 🙂


  7. So, just. Wow. Excellent ending.


  8. A very clever assassin. Great twist!


  9. James McEwan says:

    I think it was the pictured location made my mind fold your story towards the Philippines where vigilantes shoot down drug dealers.
    A very menacing piece this week.


  10. Bear says:

    A very scary scenario you’ve laid out for us this week.


  11. earthskyair says:

    Yikes, that’s pretty spooky!


  12. Ooooh… Intriguing.
    I hope that guy realises that he’s in trouble and makes a run for it though.


  13. Diabolical. What a surprise! 😉


  14. Tannille says:

    I wonder if people really fall for the cop thing. All I have to say is “Run Forrest, run!”


  15. granonine says:

    You threw me off in the beginning, with the policeman trying to talk kindly. First solid clue was the left hand sliding slowly to his own back.


  16. jenne49 says:

    So matter of fact. And so dark. I love it!


  17. GHLearner says:

    This is deliciously evil.


  18. Dora says:

    Enjoyed this. A great set up, cleverly written and cleverly performed by the assassin.


  19. Nobbinmaug says:

    I don’t know about where you live, but here, impersonating an officer is a serious offense.


  20. pennygadd51 says:

    Really well crafted. One of your best, for the precision of the menace. Fancy making your readers count the lies – what chutzpa!


  21. Corine Gouy says:

    Mentir pour mieux tuer !
    J’aime beaucoup cette histoire.
    Bravo MONSIEUR

    Liked by 1 person

  22. msjadeli says:

    Not at all how I was expecting it to end. I thought the suspect/victim would be surrounded by patrol officers, knocked to the ground, and asphyxiated with someone’s knee. Oh right, you live somewhere other than the US.


  23. elmowrites says:

    Not sure I’d trust the police in this scenario either, but it sounds like this guy is in trouble whether he knows it or not.
    I found the switch from speech to narrative tripped me up, but then I’m a stickler for old-fashioned punctuation!

    Liked by 1 person

    • ceayr says:

      I know that my short, sharp, frill-free writing is not to everyone’s taste, Jen, but, as Shakespeare said, you can please some of the people some of the time…
      Thanks, as always, for stopping by.


      • elmowrites says:

        Absolutely. My attitude is “iwant critique so I give critique” “. I have no expectation that anyone else follows it and I certainly don’t want anyone else to feel criticized.


  24. The old ‘I’m a policeman’ gag. Nicely done!


  25. Iain Kelly says:

    Can’t trust the police these days, fake or real! Great story CE.


  26. Dear CE,

    Uh oh. Inspector indeed. Sinisterly well written.




  27. ahtdoucette says:

    That’s a lot of lies for one quick story. Well done.


  28. neilmacdon says:

    I knew I could count on you for a murder. Deft and sinister as always


  29. Michael says:

    Inspector Penman, don’t do it, you will regret


  30. Sandra says:

    Loved those five lines at the end, and the image of the hand snaking towards the back of his belt. Very menacing, you do this so well.


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