Intruders – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Roger Bultot.

© Roger Bultot

Click here to hear the author read his words:


My front door lies open.
There is someone inside.
I know who it is.
Typically they hunt in threes.
Fight or flight?
I decide to run.
Then a large figure appears at the top of the stairs.
I shrink back against the wall, a futile gesture.
He charges down, brushes past me, and disappears.
Moments later this is repeated.
Two of them gone.
Then I hear more measured footsteps, and my confidence sinks again.
He strolls past me without a glance, and trots nonchalantly down to the street.
Then he turns and smiles at me.
We’ll be back, he says.

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50 Responses to Intruders – Friday Fictioneers

  1. He can move house, but I reckon they’ll find him again. Maybe it is time to fight back.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gripping story – interesting that the power of dread is infinitely worse than a slap on the face at the time. We disturb ourselves,

    Liked by 1 person

  3. draliman says:

    Yeeks, creepy! Worse than a quick punching and then all over.


  4. Shudder! Creepy! Well done, though …


  5. I got a shiver when reading the line, “Typically they hunt in threes.” I relaxed, then was socked with the last line. Great storytelling!!


  6. granonine says:

    Oh, geez. Now he has to wait some more, go through it all again. These whatever-they-are seem to enjoy torturing him.


  7. James McEwan says:

    Yep, the bailiffs can be a nuisance at times. When you have nothing they want more.


  8. Danny James says:

    Not something to look forward to.


  9. I like the mystery of this, how we don’t know what the figures really are with words like “hunt” and “trot”. Pretty ominous, in any case. Sounds like a good premise for a longer piece. Great job.


  10. pennygadd51 says:

    Please, I don’t want to be anywhere near when they come back! Super piece, CE.


  11. msjadeli says:

    You read that with just the right inflection. Really makes me wonder why they passed this time. Imagining one of your buddies inside your apartment with a bazooka that can get them even at a distance.


  12. liz young says:

    The menace in those words! Well done.


  13. I wouldn’t stay in that kind of neighborhood


  14. Looks like you’re next! It’s been nice knowing you.
    Btw, nice gaff you’ve got there CE.


  15. Tannille says:

    Creepy as. Does he own a gun? Although leaving town would be safer!


  16. trentpmcd says:

    …and next time we’ll rearrange more than just your furniture!


  17. jenne49 says:

    Intrigue and tension all the way! I’m left wondering…Nice one.


  18. Dear CE,

    Ominous. I’m with Iain. Time to pack up and leave. Unless, of course, the intruders are figments of his imagination. In which case, there’s nowhere to hide.




  19. Yikes. This would make a great commercial for a moving company. 😉


  20. Michael Humphris says:

    O dear, someone is in deep s


  21. neilmacdon says:

    I’m intrigued by why they let the narrator go. This time


  22. Iain Kelly says:

    A reprieve or sorts. Time to move house quick-smart!


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