Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Na’ama Yehuda.
And it can be read, if you choose, as part of the prequel to last week’s story.
© Na’ama Yehuda
Click here to hear the author read his words:
Green for Go
She punches me in the mouth.
It is unexpected, and brutal.
I taste blood, my tongue probing at the loosened teeth.
She slips outside, into the night.
I wait, tense.
I listen for gunshots.
There is nothing.
Silence.
I start to relax…
Crack!
The bark of a single shot.
Much nearer than I expect.
The door flies open.
The officer strides in, expression strained and pistol drawn.
When he sees my burst lips his own twist slightly.
A resourceful woman, your wife, he says.
He stumbles unsteadily against the wall.
His open greatcoat reveals the gaping wound in his stomach.
Very nice.
Where can we read the longer piece?
Thank you, sir.
The longer piece is not as yet available to the public at large.
This seems like one determined women. I am sending in Hercule Poirot
Oh, she is a lady with a mission, but more likely to be of interest to people like Himmler and Muller than M. Poirot.
A moment of betrayal, revenge and escape with a mysterious woman on the run. This is easily set, for me, in either revolutionary Russia, or in occupied France for instance.
I like how your recital adds more drama to the event.
Hallelujah!
Thank you, James, you understood ‘officer’ and ‘greatcoat’
This was also written as a sequel to a longer piece I wrote ages ago, which spells things out more.
In 100 words, as you know, only little clues are possible.
So it is great when someone gets them.
Cheers
You’re welcome, I do my best to read the story and not just the words.
Much appreciated
Tension and mystery right there. Well done.
Cheers, Bill
My question…why was he saved this time? Feeing might be his best course of action.
The husband is not in danger.
That’s a clue!
Holy cow!!!
That was a double whammy!
Nicely done, yes! way too nicely done, I say.
C.E. what’s on her mind?
Well done, Natasha, you have asked the question!
The clue is in the last line.
lesson learned. never get involved in domestic dispute.
He didn’t, Plaridel.
What’s her name, Six-Gun Sally?
She is getting a bad rap here, Russell
Ouch. I thought the police officer had shot her. Nice one!
Quite the reverse.
And I don’t mention ‘police’, Ali!
Very dramatic rendition of everyday domestic violence. Well written, CE.
Actually Neel, it isn’t.
There is a reason for what she does.
Wonderful story. Very visceral.
Thank you, much appreciated.
Oy, I don’t want her as my neighbor. Yikes, she’s not a good one to be around. Not a nice one, that one (though your story is well done!)
Well, Na’ama, it might look that way, but…
yeah, well … 😉
That was ace, first place too, is that 2 weeks in a row? This series obviously suits you! Brilliant stuff
I don’t think I’m earlier, I think Neil and co are sleeping late!
Glad you enjoyed again.
Right, next week Im on it. Its about 9am Shrawley time, which is just after my dog walk and mid coffee.
Ah, love! Shoots you in the mouth and gets you in the gut.
Five out of five rifle cracks for this one, CE. Packed a wallop!
She is quite a gal, Kent.
Two out of two knockouts for her!
You got THAT right!
It’s the reverse of ‘Porphyria’s Lover’
Not really, Larry.
Neither of the lovers are harmed here.
Well a punch isn’t all that very bad.
Holy buckets! Well, I missed last week, so I need to go back and find the story that led to this brutal tale. Well done, CE. Even though she’s apparently a bad girl, I find I’m on her side. Strange.
Your instincts are excellent, Linda.
That’s all I’m saying!
We asked for more, you gave us more and I for one am asking for yet more!
There is actually a lot more to this story, Keith, but I don’t think I can do it in 100 words!
Oh, that was so unexpected and now I want to know why she did it! You captured the atmosphere really well.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
There is a big clue in the last line.
Thanks, Susan
Chilling! And brutal!
That works for me, JJ!
She did do it after all. Perfect start to a gritty noir.
Ah yes, of course she did.
The question is why.
wow. what a great little story. By sheer co-incidence, my story is also about domestic violence, woman on the man. I took a different view, but I love your story.
Dave
https://s00156364.wordpress.com/2020/07/01/im-out-of-here-friday-fictioneers/
This is not actually about domestic violence, although there is an element of that in it.
Cheers, Dave
Dear CE,
That was certainly grisly.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Grisly, hmm?
Okay, I’m cool with that, m’lady
There’s domestic abuse and then there’s this. Very powerful. I’ll give her a miss.
Thanks, Sandra, but you did say last week that you’d like to read more…
Now that’s one hell of an opening
Laughing.
She’s some gal!
What charmer… Even women can be violent, the untold story.
Indeed, Tannille.
You said last week you wanted to know more…