Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Ted Strutz.
© Ted Strutz
Click here to hear the author read his words:
Getting Philosophical
I haven’t killed anyone for ages.
Thing is, of course, it’s been well nigh impossible with these months of confinement.
I needed an attestation, a written declaration of my reason for going out.
This is a small town, hardly more than a village, I can’t just pop out in deserted streets and top someone.
So I’ve been eating, sorry, I mean thinking more.
Getting a bit philosophical.
I wrote a poem about a spider.
I’ve even done some relatively funny things, had a laugh.
As far as murder goes, I might have lost my touch.
I guess time will tell.
I couldn’t decide if he was a hitman or a psycho. I settled on psycho. I liked the spider poem.
Laughing.
Maybe just a guy with a different hobby…
Thanks, Ted, glad you liked the poem.
I’m quite certain he will kill again, most likely out of boredom.
Always the optimist, eh, Dawn!
I think writing down the real reason wouldn’t really work… but I can feel the itch for murder.
Try not to scratch, Bjorn…
I love how this starts.
Ronda
Pity about the end, hmm?
I wish the protagonist loses his ‘touch’ to murder completely.At least something good is happening in the confinement 😊
Then he might take up fishing, or hunting instead.
Or, horror of horrors, golf!
This may be the creepiest poem I’ve ever read involving a spider – and I really don’t like spiders. Nicely done.
I am amazed that you find it creepy.
Susie is a delightful little creature, just trying to live her life as best she can.
Like all of us, hmm?
I love the way your man is so everyday, at home with his murdering, as if it were gardening say.
A man needs a hobby, and it’s less boring than golf!
I have worried about career burglars, with everyone at home the whole time. Do they even qualify for a “self-employed” grant? Now I’m worried about casual murderers as well.
Laughing. Do you ever think, Ali, that you worry too much?
Enjoyable as always and it set me to wondering, everyone’s alibi at the moment would be, ‘I was at home,’ ‘any witnesses?’ ‘I was self-isolating.’ So if you could sneak out and murder without detection, it would be hard to prove anything against you. (As long as you’d covered the forensic angles, of course.)
A couple of big IFs there, Michael!
Glad you enjoyed.
There are reports that crime has decreased during the lockdown period – I wonder if it has just moved indoors – you know bodies beneath the floor boards!
Bit tricky that.
I live in a second floor apartment!
And he’d show up like a sore thumb on any CCTV cameras!
Aye well, if there’s anyone there to watch them…
Thank goodness for the quarantine 🙂 I hope he has a change of heart 😉
C’mon, JJ, a guy needs a hobby!
🙂
one positive effect of the pandemic lockdown is that it can lead to introspection. it’s possibly the same feeling one gets when he goes to prison.
Laughing. I’ll bear that in mind!
Gruesome AND funny. Quite a combination :). Of course I clicked over to read your spider poem, and I have no idea what the answer is. One thing I’m pretty sure of, from all the webs that decorate our hedges in the morning, is that if they do sleep, it’s during the day!
Glad you got a grin, Linda.
Maybe they do shift work?
Poetry has always been considered so very much more appropriate a pursuit than murder
I don’t know, Larry, some poetry is brutally bad
Now that is well done. You entertain us with a non-murder. I smiled all the way through!
Glad you enjoyed, Penny
2 for the price of 1!! loved them
Thank you, sir. Twice.
Hmmm… getting rusty could be dangerous. Loved the poem.
On verra.
And thanks.
Sooner or later, someone’s going to get it. They all do. And a swell poem to boot, CE.
Seems a good bet, Kent!
But no boots near the poem , Susie is very squashable.
If you creep and commit murder I guess that’s two crimes. I’d wait a while if I were you.
Creep? Who mentioned creep?
And I’m not in a hurry, Keith, I might drop by later in the year…
I meant to say was if you creep ‘out’ of your door without your long word beginning with A you are being a bit naughty! But I didn’t say out!
Midsummer murders comes to mind, perhaps there is no one left to be murdered.🙂
Oh there’s always someone, Mike…
Dear CE,
Clever way to get in several hundred more words…enjoyable poem at that. 😉 I guess if it means fewer murders, the lockdown is a good thing. (Would that were the case.) All in all, nicely done, sir.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Maybe. I mean, in New York in February of 1964, the crime rate stopped for fifteen minutes — while the water department noticed a HUGE uptick in toilet flushes during the commercial break on the Ed Sullivan Show. 😀
And the spiders were all washed away by The Beatles!
barrump-BUMP! pssshhh!
C’mon, m’lady, the Spider is an optional and unrelated extra, just showing that I do things other than mayhem and massacre.
Glad you enjoyed.
I worry that you’ve accidentally posted a personal diary extract here by mistake…
Well played.
Oh krap!
As lockdown restrictions ease, I guess we will find out if an onslaught of violence ensues!
Got to be a few pent-up emotions waiting to erupt, donchafink?
Never thought the virus would be good for anything… It keeps the serial killers away!
Small mercies, Tannille, that’s all we can hope for!
Now that first line is what I call a hook
Cheers, Neil, glad it caught you!
I do hope the first one isn’t going to be messy, through lack of practice. Loved your poem. I was watching a spider immobilising a fly in the conservatory the other day. I could have asked him/her but he/she was pretty caught up in what was happening. As was the fly.
Your concern for the cleaning staff does you credit, Sandra.
Glad you enjoyed the poem.
I have found flies to be even less communicative than spiders, generally speaking.
I guess they’re not good at networking (groan).