Ventriloquist – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, the standard, and the prompt photo.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on the picture below, which this week is supplied by Dale Rogerson.

© Dale Rogerson


Click here to hear the author read his words:

Ventriloquist

I am a ventriloquist with a unique act.
My dummy is a man.
I am a handsome German Shepherd.
I do not shove my paw anywhere inappropriate.
I work him with the strength of my personality.
He does nothing other than to speak on command.
And he turns his head abruptly, to and fro, for comic effect.
I/he/we tell a few jokes.
People laugh.
We take questions and reply with humour, sometimes biting, almost contemptuous.
Audiences love this.
For the grand finale he sings an old Rolling Stones number.
Walking the Dog.
It brings the house down.
And my lips never move.

ventriloquist

The Ventriloquist by C. E. Ayr

The brains, the looks and the talent.
I just speak the words.

Unknown's avatar

About ceayr

A Scot who has discovered peace in a small town he calls Medville on the Côte Vermeille, C.E. Ayr has spent a large part of his life in the West of Scotland and a large part elsewhere. His first job was selling programmes at his local football club and he has since tried 73 other career paths, the longest being in IT, with varying degrees of success. He is somewhat nomadic, fairly irresponsible and, according to his darling daughter, a bit random. So, nobody’s perfect.
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67 Responses to Ventriloquist – Friday Fictioneers

  1. This was awesome!

  2. Nobbinmaug's avatar Nobbinmaug says:

    Yep! Pets are usually the real masters.

  3. subroto's avatar subroto says:

    Talented pooch. I would have thought it would finish with a ain’t nothin but a hound dog number.

  4. anthonynorth's avatar anthonynorth says:

    hi ceayr, I’ve just had a request for you to access my old site. I’ve just realized my old url is still linked to. My new one is https://anthonynorth.com/blog/
    Sorry about that.

  5. anthonynorth's avatar anthonynorth says:

    Doggedly funny – enjoyed it.
    My first time here – and rather late.

  6. James McEwan's avatar James McEwan says:

    I wonder is the tail wagging the dog. I like the role reversal, it seems a dog act is very popular with audiences. Finishing with a Rolling Stones number probably does indicate it is time to leave the stage.

  7. This made me laugh. I think all animals, if well-loved, control our lives.

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      I have the privilege of spending the occasional fortnight with this chap when his permanent human takes a vacation.
      He is always entertaining company, very intelligent and funny, and I basically do as I’m told..

  8. susanmehr's avatar susanmehr says:

    Great POV. Brillant. 🙂

  9. Russell's avatar Russell says:

    It does seem as though the dogs are in charge! We take them out in the rain, drive them around, deliver their food, and they lay around wagging their tales. At least that’s how it is at my house. Great take on the prompt!

  10. granonine's avatar granonine says:

    Rather brilliant, C.E. Funny, and completely believable 🙂

  11. I thought this only happened with cats…

  12. draliman's avatar draliman says:

    Quite a dog, and quite the act! I wonder if the audience cotton on to who’s really in charge?

  13. It is important to know who is in charge. Lovely canine.

  14. plaridel's avatar plaridel says:

    i love this. one of your best.

  15. I think I saw one of those duos in the park the other day … 😉

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      Another master and human relationship, Na’ama?

      • Yeah. The human was crouching to the ground, reverently picking up the master’s refuse, and carrying it with much care all the way to the Master-Refuse-Guarding-Chalice where the sacred refuse of other masters was deposited. Then the human bowed to the master and gave him a treat that they’d been carrying for them all the way from the abode.

  16. I can’t imagine a cat doing that! Then again I can’t see a dog doing it either, but I’ll take your word for it.

  17. Anita's avatar Anita says:

    That’s talent!
    Very creative 🙂

  18. trentpmcd's avatar trentpmcd says:

    Very handsome fellow. I think the dogs are the beauty and brains behind most canine/human relationships. I know mine have me wrapped around their little paw…

  19. pennygadd51's avatar pennygadd51 says:

    What a beautiful animal! Does he have a Scottish accent?
    Great take on the prompt, CE, and nicely constructed.

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr says:

      He is très beau, as we say here, Penny.
      And he is French, with a deep and powerful voice, like Christophe Lambert as Tarzan, when he growls.
      Thank you

  20. Liz Young's avatar Liz Young says:

    What’s more, it would probably work!

  21. Mike's avatar Mike says:

    He trained himself to keep his paws controlled. I am impressed 🙂

  22. Iain Kelly's avatar Iain Kelly says:

    Easy to see who is the master in this relationship.

  23. Dear CE,

    Barking satire. Pass the kibble. Applause for a story well written.

    Arf!

    Rochelle

  24. Reena Saxena's avatar Reena Saxena says:

    Wonderful! Would love to see a show like this 🙂

  25. Tannille's avatar Tannille says:

    I bet he is very handsome and keeps his paws clean… Loved this. It’s a dog’s world.

  26. Oh, very good! Loved the way you switched their roles. 🙂

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

  27. neilmacdon's avatar neilmacdon says:

    Biting humour indeed!

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