Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week, she provides a rather exotic photo by Susan Eames as the prompt.
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Susan Eames
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Tree House
I am building a tree house.
This surprises me.
I have never considered undertaking such a project.
Then, recently, I nailed a small plank across two branches.
And things escalated.
As they do.
It is now a fortress.
For a pre-teenage boy in South Africa, life is confusing.
I’ve been concealing myself in this tree for a while.
Why?
Because I’m in a state of war with Benny.
I’m no longer sure why, but I think it’s race-related.
I’m a Scot.
The only one in the village.
He, and his friends, are Afrikaners.
So, apparently, we have to fight.
A good story and writing, C.E. This could end badly if an adult doesn’t find out and do something. Unfortunately, some adults never really grow up. The children must have heard the prejudice in the homes. You’re right, Skin color is not always the basis of the problem.
Thanks, Suzanne.
For a child the only crime is to be different
I like your depiction of pre-teen confusion on the hot topic of race, which provokes bad behavior in so many adults, in South Africa and all over. If I understand it right, the Afrikaners are Afrikaans-speaking people, descended from the Dutch, and therefore,presumably, Caucasian. Your little joke that the Scots (also presumably Caucasian)make up an entirely different race is funny, in an “oh isn’t that exactly how a pre-teen would think” way. I liked it very much, assuming that I did not totally misread it. 😊
You read it perfectly, Andy, except that racism does not depend on skin colour to exist. So what you read as a joke, sadly, was very much a reality.
True.
So sad. The lines are drawn before the children are old enough to realise what’s happening. Inherited hatred – and so it goes on, and on.
You are absolutely right, Margaret, it is taught in the cradle.
The detachment in the tree is matched by his removal from the discord. I really like it and am glad I played your voice as well, since it gave me a different mood.
A great voice! This is full of sadness, confusion and dreadful foreboding.
Thank you, I am happy it worked so well for you
Very sensitive topic and handled equally sensitively.
Thanks, Neel, we have to keep pointing out the futility and hope someone will notice
LOVE this one!
Thank you, Dawn, much appreciated
Treehouses should be fun for kids…so sad when they are used for protection from greater evils.
DB McNicol
author, traveler, shutterbug
Author Blog
Personal Blog
I agree absolutely
Apparently, all wars start somewhere.
Indeed so, Tracey, and for too little reason
A very thought-provoking story. Isn’t this sadly the way of the world?
Thank you, sir, my point exactly
I liked the voice in this – a kind of helpless “look what’s happening to me” approach. Good one.
Thanks, Sandra, sometimes life leaves us wondering precisely that
A battle unless fought with proper tactics you are bound to lose. So hide and wait for the right opportunity.
Sound advice, sir, but better not to fight at all
Well, when you get older you can drink first–then fight.
Too many of us don’t need even that much of an excuse, Russell
You built the story beautifully and the last line saddens me. How many times do people go to war or simply fight because it’s expected that they do so, that they hate the other? Missed your story last week and so glad you are back this.
Thank you for your kind words, Brenda, you got the point of my story exactly.
And thank you for your second comment, that is just about the nicest thing anyone has said to me on here.
I was back in Scotland for a short visit, the photos are all over FB!
I like the way you tell this story, revealing little by little the boy’s actions and thoughts. The line “So, apparently, we have to fight.” is the climax of the story, and its spurious logic makes the reader think more critically about war itself.
You got it, Penny, that was exactly my point.
Thank you.
Great story – so thought provoking. Cleverly done!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you, Susan, the same is true of your photo
This is my favorite story this week.
This is my favorite comment this week.
So sad, what is happening in South Africa. Your story was right on the mark.
Thank you, Linda
Hopefully, like a true Scot, he will invite Benny in to the tree house for a warm chat and they will see that there is no reason for any fighting!
Or lob him off the top branch!
Dear CE,
A poignant and sensitive story. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, m’lady
Being at war and knowing not why. How often in the past has that been the case?
My go at Friday Fictioneers!
And in the present, Keith
A safe tree-house- the haven.
A land without war that’s heaven.
I couldn’t agree more, Anita
Sad when lines are drawn and you can’t comprehend why.
Great take on the prompt.
Thanks, Tannille, life can be like that, don’t you find?
Absolutely!
I liked the logic of war here, and the way animosities creep up on you
If indeed there is ever any, Neil