Friday Fictioneers is hosted by the wonderful Rochelle, the undisputed master of what I call Sound Bite Fiction.
She sets the weekly challenge, and the standard.
This week’s fascinatingly blurry photo by Jill Wisoff made me think of happier times
The idea, as always, is to write a story of around 100 words based on this picture, below.
© Jill Wisoff
Click here to hear the writer read his words:
Lost Focus
I know I have been out of sorts recently.
I felt lethargic.
I seemed to have lost my focus.
People were starting to comment.
Just last week, one friend, a lovely English lady, chastised me, quite gently, for my lack of activity.
I don’t know if the problem is advancing years the unsettled weather caused by our appalling treatment of our beautiful planet, or just life.
But I know what makes me feel good.
So I am out again, walking.
Walking the city streets at night.
Enjoying the sights, the sounds, the smells.
Taking it all in.
Looking for prey.
Ah, that last line. There is more to him than we first think.
Of course.
But where have you been, hmm?
No note and no hugs, huh!
Hugs always of course. Life has been crazy, full of good change, and new opportunity. I’ll send you a note FB later today 🙂
Killer ending after a great build up
Thanks, Michael
What a twist!
Glad I caught you out, Fatima
Very unexpected.
That’s what I aim for, Lisa!
Ah! the expected devious twist. Superb writing, as usual. Ceayr.
Yep, boringly predictable, Neel!
Fantastic rocket launched at the end.
Jilly
That made me chuckle, Jilly, thank you
Your story reminded me of the tale of Jekyll and Hyde by R L Stevenson, lovely
I am flattered to be in the same sentence as my great compatriot, Mike!
Oh my…the cage has been opened. :/
Grrroowwwllll!
(And I like ‘Oh my…’)
It was all so gentle until…! Nice one.
Welcome to Keith’s Ramblings!
Cheers, Keith
Ha ha ha. Off to the country I go.
Best to be safe!
The thrill of the hunt!! Excellent twist, CE.
Thank you, Varad, glad you enjoyed.
Always good to get right back on the prowl.
I do enjoy a bit of a prowl of an evening, Tracey.
What’s your neighbourhood like?
Old gringas, banditos and lots of tequila. A deadly combination.
BAM! I KNEW something unexpected was going to happen. 🙂
Expect the unexpected, unless it’s The Spanish Inquisition!
Le chasseur est de retour dans les rues !
Faut-il surveiller nos arrières ?
Faut faire attention, c’est sûr, les rues sont dangereuses!
I will be careful and look behind me… I guess you don’t carry a telltale ax…. something more subtle like piano wire?
That made me laugh, Bjorn, thanks.
I actually carry a whole piano, carefully hidden in my inside pocket!
It’s good you the old C.E. back.
Crap. I’m making typos, leaving words out, must be part Canuck.
What I meant to say was, “It’s good to have the old C.E. back.”
I make allowances for the elderly and the drunk, Russell.
Glad you enjoyed it, even if you do cast asparagus at the Canadians!
Haha! Love that. An evil twist after the sweetest of openings – so you! Made me smile (yes, I know, I’m weird) And here’s to the lovely English lady
I am smiling too, Lynn, high praise from you.
And you are one of very few who approach her lofty heights.
Ah, bless you – high praise indeed to be mentioned in the same breath as Sandra! Thank you C – enjoyed this very much
I love a story with a sock in the last line 🙂
Happy you enjoyed, Jane
I did 🙂
Yep. Right there with him, until the last line. I think I gasped. Good one C.E.
A gasp is good, Susan, that is what I live for!
Really good take on the prompt, and a wonderful twist at the end! You’re back to top form, CE!
Thank you, Penny
Hi CE,
I am going to be very nice to you in future and might even send a cheque in the mail. I related really closely to what your character was saying and really felt right in step with him. Indeed, I thought you really summed up how I’ve been feeling lately and that the smack in the face at the end and I hastily retreated. No. I had nothing in common with this man. Never met him before in my life.
Very well done. You had me hook, line and sinker.
Best wishes,
Rowena
I love it when a story provokes a comment that is longer than itself!
And I do enjoy leading you up the garden path, before I hit you with a shovel!
Your comment is much appreciated, Rowena
You can count on me for a good word count, CE and thanks once again for your piece.
Ohh… that last line!! Great twist! 🙂
I do like an ‘Ohh…’!
Thank you, Courtney
Terrific last line.
Thank you, James
Is the English lady to be classed as muse, accomplice or victim? Besides, what’s wrong with slowing down and enjoying life a bit more.
Sandra is my favourite writer on FF, she is an inspiration more than anything else.
Eek! Brilliantly unexpected twist – loved it!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
I do enjoy an ‘Eek!’, thank you.
Looked like an elderly person narrating about his life.
Then, comes the twist!
The last line opens a world of possibility!
“Looking for prey” 🙂
We all have our little hobbies, hmm?
He has hard-to-meet needs
A man’s gotta do…
Dear C. E.
The city better be on the lookout and the lovely (I agree) English lady. Good (?) one.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you, m’lady. Sandra need never be concerned on my account, she is as good as they come.